


Down All Your Darkest Roads

by Ava_BellaDonna



Category: Fleetwood Mac (Band)
Genre: 1980s, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Drug Addiction, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Female Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Strained Friendships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:34:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 42,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22331968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ava_BellaDonna/pseuds/Ava_BellaDonna
Summary: Set during the recording and release of Tango in the Night, Christine and Stevie try to mend their strained relationship amidst their individual hardships and continued band chaos.
Relationships: Christine McVie/Stevie Nicks
Comments: 9
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this new series. It is somewhat of a sequel to Solo lll (In Sausalito), so if you haven’t read it, I recommend you do. It deviates from canon in the sense Christine’s not married and Stevie is single. I hope to post regular updates to keep the momentum going. Enjoy!

Christine busied herself in front of her keyboard as she heard the sound of a car door slam, signalling the arrival of a certain petite blonde who until today, had been missing in action. Unable to help herself, Christine got up from her seat and peered out the window, getting a small glimpse of Stevie Nicks as she made her way to the front door; a hurricane of messy blonde hair that was sure to bring chaos to the already dysfunctional recording process of _Tango in the Night_.

Christine nervously fiddled with her necklace while she waited, not knowing what to expect from their reunion. They barely spoke over the past two years and while Christine had tried to reach out to Stevie, the responses felt flippant and distant so she eventually stopped trying. Still, Christine’s concerns for Stevie weren’t something she could switch off; she wanted to see her band mate in a better place than she had been over the recent years.

The sound of Stevie’s distinct husky voice filled the hallway and she appeared at the door, quickly slipping inside and avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room. Lindsey trailed in behind her, looking noticeably uncomfortable as he shot wary glances at his ex girlfriend who was pouring herself a glass of brandy at the bar set up in the corner of the room. Christine took in Stevie’s presentation; her hastily applied makeup did little to hide her pale complexion and there were noticeable shadows under her eyes. Her clothes were frumpy and homelike, almost as if she just rolled out of bed and dragged herself to Lindsey’s house at the last minute. Stevie’s bedraggled appearance shocked Christine. She gathered Stevie would be fragile after her stay in rehab, but she didn’t expect her to look as unkempt as she did.

“Hi Johnny, Mick, Chris,” Stevie said, glancing at them as she took her generously filled glass and sat behind the soundboard next to their long time producer, Richard.

Mick and John greeted her. Christine, however, could only give her a weak half smile that seemed to go unnoticed.

“Let’s begin then?” Lindsey suggested. “Stevie, how about you go to the recording booth and we’ll start with the demo you sent over.”

Stevie froze. “You want me to go in there now?”

“Yes, now,” Lindsey said patiently.

Christine heard Stevie mumble to herself as she shakily stood up and headed to the sleek recording booth, brandy glass in hand. She looked small and unsure and Christine wanted to run in there and give her old friend an encouraging hug, but she didn’t know how Stevie would take it. Instead, she set up her sheet music for _Seven Wonders_ and played a few chords on the keyboard to warm up.

“Okay, when you’re ready, Stevie,” Richard said.

Stevie cleared her throat and took a big gulp of her drink. Christine sighed; they had a long day ahead of them.

* * *

Two hours later, the band had barely made any progress and Stevie was on her second glass of brandy. Her voice was scratchy and she looked like she was on the verge of tears. Christine could sense Lindsey’s patience was wearing thin so she suggested they take a break and work on a different song afterwards. Stevie nearly leapt out of the booth in relief and exited the room without a backwards glance.

Christine gave Stevie ten minutes before she went out to look for her. She found her sitting on the edge of a lounge chair on Lindsey’s vast patio, smoking a cigarette and looking miserable. Christine quietly approached her and placed her hand on her shoulder before sitting down on the chair next to Stevie’s.

“Thanks for calling a break, I was going crazy in there,” Stevie said, taking a drag of her cigarette.

“It’s okay, I could see you needed it,” Christine gestured to Stevie’s cigarette and she handed it to her.

Stevie stared blankly at the view of LA that stretched out before them. “Its like I’ve forgotten how to sing.”

Christine took a quick puff and passed the cigarette back to Stevie. “You haven’t, you’ve been away and you were basically thrown in there. It’ll get easier.”

“I hope so.”

“How are you, Stevie?” She asked carefully. “And I hope to get an honest answer.”

Stevie turned to face her and smiled sadly. “Is it that obvious I’m a mess?”

In the old days, Christine normally would have answered with a resounding ‘yes’, but she didn’t want Stevie to feel worse than she already did. She looked even more haggard up close; her skin was sporting a few spots and her eyes had a vacant, almost haunted look. The signature Stevie glow had vanished and it was disconcerting to see.

“You’re struggling in there and I want to know if there’s anything I can do to make it easier for you,” She offered instead.

Stevie shrugged. “Thanks Chris, but there’s really nothing you can do. It’s just hard trying to work in Lindsey’s house after rehab and I don’t know if I’m fully ready. Knowing his girlfriend lives here doesn’t make things better, either.”

“Just take it day by day and don’t be hard on yourself. Its your first day back so of course its going to be strange.” Christine said gently. “As for Cheri, she’s really nice and stays out of our way, she’s not like Lindsey’s previous girlfriends.”

Stevie didn’t reply and Christine realised the last thing she wanted to hear was how amiable Lindsey’s new girlfriend was. Treading on glass seemed easier than talking to Stevie, but it had been like that for a while now.

Stevie changed the subject just as Christine was going to tentatively ask her about rehab. “How have things been with you?”

“Good, I’m glad to be back for the most part. Managing the boys has been fucking irritating, though. Mick and John aren’t in a good place and it shows, and don’t get me started on Lindsey’s tantrums.”

“Well, looks like I’m in good company, then,” Stevie put out the remainder of her cigarette and stood up. “We should probably go back inside.”

Christine rose to her feet and impulsively took Stevie’s hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze. “I’m glad you’re back, Stevie. You’ll get through it.”

Stevie gave her a heartbreaking smile and the ice between them slowly began to melt.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m really glad you called me last night.”

Christine let her overnight guest plant soft kisses along her neck as she glanced at the alarm clock on her bedside table. She had exactly one hour to kick Eddy out, have a shower, then get dressed to make the twenty minute drive from her house to Lindsey’s for work. Eddy, however, seemed determined to derail her plan as his hand grasped her hip while the other cupped her cheek to kiss her.

“You should probably get going,” Christine said in between kisses. “I have to be there in an hour.”

Eddy chuckled and attempted to push up the oversized t-shirt she wore. “You can probably stay here with me for another three hours and still be early. Your band isn’t exactly known for being punctual.”

Christine firmly smoothed her t-shirt down. “We’re really trying to make an effort to produce this album before our deadline.”

“Yeah, I can really imagine Stevie Nicks putting her best foot forward with all of her drama. Didn’t you say Mick is still sleeping in your producer’s house?”

Christine wriggled out of Eddy’s grasp and pulled off the blanket with more dramatic flair than she’d intended. He had overstayed his welcome and she was beginning to regret inviting him over in the first place. What started off as a fun fling while she toured for her solo album had turned into a ‘mutually beneficial’ agreement she should have ended months ago.

“You really need to go.” She directed as she picked up his clothes from her bedroom floor and tossed them to him.

“Oh come on, Chrissy, you know I was just playing.” He gave her a stung, puppy dog look from her bed.

“Don’t call me that,” Christine snapped. “I really need you to leave. I’m already late as it is and you’re starting to piss me off.”

“What have I done wro-“

Christine stepped into her en suite and shut the door abruptly behind her.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later, Christine swung her car into Lindsey’s driveway and parked near the band’s RV that mostly served as Mick’s cocaine comedown refuge. She stepped out and breathed in the dismal L.A. smog; yearning for the crisp, English country air she left behind all those years ago. If it weren’t for the new album, she would have moved back home and taken a break from music and her life in the States for a while. It was a pervasive thought that entered her mind when she was stuck in peak hour L.A. traffic or every time she called Eddy when she felt lonely and empty, which happened frequently since recording began.

She made her way to Lindsey’s master bedroom and was surprised to see John already setting up for the day. He looked up from his bass and grinned at her.

“Hey, Chrissy!” Unlike Eddy, her ex husband ironically was given a free pass to call her a nickname she generally disliked.

“I’m shocked you beat me here for once.” Christine said, leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Oh come on, give a man some credit.” He laughed.

“I’ll give it to you today, but everyone knows the title of ‘Most Reliable Member of Fleetwood Mac’ is mine!” She joked; secretly thrilled John had arrived on time. It indicated he didn’t drink himself to a near catatonic stupor the night before.

They chatted companionably until Lindsey entered the room with his signature brooding look plastered across his face. Christine refused to let his bad mood ruin the joviality and smiled pleasantly at him.

Lindsey nodded to her. “Chris, can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

Christine looked at John who shrugged. Warily, Christine followed Lindsey out into the hallway.

“What’s up?”

“Its about Stevie.”

Christine sighed, _of course._ “What has she done now?”

“Did you see the state she was in yesterday?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Of course I did, it wasn’t great.”

Lindsey scoffed. “Not great is an understatement, we can’t work with her when she’s like this. I thought rehab would get her straight for good, I wasn’t expecting the drinking. She’s a mess.”

“Lindsey, you and I both know a stay in rehab doesn’t equate total sobriety,” Christine said reasonably. “She was petrified and rusty.”

“I know.” He didn’t look sympathetic.

“You weren’t thinking of kicking her out of the band, were you?”

Lindsey shook his head. “No, I think we have something workable with _Seven Wonders_ and _When I See You Again_. I just don’t think we can rely on her as a lead vocalist for this album. I want you to do it.”

Christine blanched. “I don’t think the fans would want that.”

“The fans don’t have a say,” Lindsey said impatiently. “Your songs so far are great, Stevie’s not up to scratch and we don’t have time to wait around for her to get it together. Please just do it.”

Christine had to admit he had a point; despite her low morale she had managed to write some material she was proud of. Her hesitance stemmed from her dislike of being in the spotlight more than necessary; that was always Stevie’s thing. Knocking her off her perch seemed like a huge betrayal and they were only just starting to be friends again.

Lindsey read her mind. “Don’t worry about Stevie, she’ll come around after she’s thrown a tantrum. She needs to know she can’t just waltz in here a total wreck and expect to get everything she wants.”

The irony of Lindsey complaining about other people’s tantrums and demands wasn’t lost on Christine, but she held her tongue. “Give Stevie one more shot and if it’s much the same, I’ll take over.”

“Fine.” He relented. “But based on what we saw yesterday, don’t have high hopes.”

* * *

Lindsey’s prediction sadly came true when Stevie showed up later than ever and attempted to get through her song three brandies deep with a tequila shot thrown in for good measure. To make matters worse, her bad behaviour influenced an edgy Mick to join in on the drinking spree so the recording session descended into an intoxicated write-off.

Lindsey was furious and Christine also struggled to maintain her composure. She glared at Stevie as she swayed in the booth glassy eyed and shot up to yank open the door.

“Come on, Stevie.” She hissed. “Get out of here and go and sit down. I’ll arrange for someone to come and pick you up.”

“I’m fine, Chris.” Stevie slurred. “I just wanna sing…”

Christine firmly took hold of Stevie’s arm and helped her out of the booth. “Not today, you’re not. You’re plastered and in no state to work. We’ll finish the song tomorrow.”

Stevie leaned on Christine heavily and continued to mumble in protest. They staggered to the leather couch where Christine laid her down before turning away in frustration.

John’s eyes darted between Stevie and Mick-who was curled up on the floor next to his drum kit-and rubbed his head anxiously.

“I can’t be around this. I have to go, I’m sorry.”

Christine felt relieved as she watched him gather his things and leave. The last thing she wanted was a vulnerable John to succumb to his vices because Stevie and Mick were stressing him out. She made a mental note to check up on him later.

“Great, just great.” Lindsey barked. “What the fuck, Stevie? You’re lucky I don’t kick you out of the band right this second! What’s the matter with you?”

Stevie shot him an unfocused glare. “Shut the fuck up. You try singing straight out of rehab while feeling like shit, still!”

“You promised me over the phone last week you were okay to work and then you rock up with your usual bullshit. You don’t give a fuck about anyone but yourself!” Lindsey looked at her with disgust.

“Hypocritical asshole, you have no idea what I’m going through!” Stevie screamed as she attempted to get up from the couch.

“That’s enough.” Christine said firmly. “Stevie, I’m sorry to say this but Lindsey’s right. You really need to get it together; you can barely stand up let alone sing. This is unacceptable.”

Stevie turned to Christine with a stormy, venomous look in her eye. “You’re the last one to fucking talk. Remember how wasted you used to get during our _Tusk_ tour? You were the biggest alcoholic back then and you’re a complete bitch now.”

Christine felt like she had been slapped. “I’m going to call your manager to pick you up.” She said calmly, though her mind reeled with a hundred insults she could easily hurl back. “I’m not arguing with you right now.”

“Everything you said yesterday about being there for me were lies, I don’t need you.”

“Brilliant.” Christine snapped. “You’re on your own from now on.”

“Can you ladies pack it in?” Mick whined from the floor. “I have a fucking headache.”

Christine gave Mick a withering look and glanced at Lindsey who shook his head in commiseration.

“I’ll go make the call.” Christine mumbled as she turned to leave the room.

She could hear Stevie crying softly behind her but she felt little sympathy. Her words hurt; the tentative bridge they had built was broken and it would take a serious apology from Stevie to salvage what little remained of their friendship. As far as she was concerned, they were done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all probably hate me for this chapter but what’s a Fleetwood Mac story without a conflict or two? I promise the next chapter will go a little easier on Stevie ☺ Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Stevie didn’t show up for the rest of the week.

Word was sent via Stevie’s manager that she was ‘going to her doctor to change her medication’ but ‘will be back in a few days’ and in the meantime ‘she was writing at home’. None of these assurances meant anything to the rest of the band, so they continued on without her.

Christine threw herself into her work; slowly discovering she quite enjoyed her new role as lead singer and it fit well with the direction the album was going. She moulded her anger towards Stevie and her instability into a song called _Little Lies_ that was well received by the boys. If they suspected it was about Stevie, they didn’t comment, instead adding their own bits and pieces to create a number that was sure to be a hit with their fans.

She was making herself a cup of tea after a long day recording when the phone rang.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hey Chris, its me.”

Christine tensed at the sound of Stevie’s unsure voice. She couldn’t even remember the last time they spoke over the phone and frankly, she was surprised Stevie still had her number.

“Hi, Stevie.” She replied; there was a distinct frostiness in her tone.

“Are you busy?”

Christine stirred her tea and placed the spoon in the sink with a loud clatter. “I was just making myself a cup of tea and planning to go to bed, actually. Can this wait?”

“Oh,” Stevie said meekly. “I suppose it can.”

But neither of them made a move to hang up. Christine couldn’t bear the awkward silence and gave in.

“What’s the matter, Stevie?”

“I called to apologise for the way I acted at Lindsey’s,” Stevie’s voice was still hesitant. “And for what I said to you. It was cruel and unnecessary and untrue. I’m sorry.”

“It was cruel.” Christine replied stoutly.

“I know,” Stevie sighed. “I’ve just been feeling so much anxiety lately and it causes me to act like a total crazy person. I know it’s not an excuse but when I feel ganged up on, I just lose it.”

“We weren’t ganging up on you, we were trying to get through to you that you can’t lay down decent vocals if you’re out of your mind drunk. Come on, Stevie, you know this.”

“God how I know it. I was getting flashbacks of our _Rumours_ days the entire time I was in that booth.” She took a deep breath breath. “Anyway, what I’m trying to say is I’m sorry for wasting everyone’s time and I’m trying to do better.”

Christine slowly hopped up on the kitchen counter and took a sip of her tea, processing Stevie’s words. Stevie was a stubborn girl who rarely apologised for anything, Christine remembered all the shouting matches she’d have with the band and management over things that were clearly her fault. For her to be so earnest and genuine signified a real change, so Christine was having a hard time staying angry.

“I’m glad to hear that, Stevie.” She said carefully. “But I’m not the only one you should be saying sorry to.”

“I’ll apologise to the guys tomorrow,” Stevie agreed. “I just really needed to talk to you first. I can’t stand it when you’re angry at me.”

“I was hurt more than anything, but I accept your apology. We’ve all said horrible things to each other. “ Christine conceded. “So you’re coming back tomorrow? That’s good.”

“Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better.”

“You sound better.” It was true; Stevie’s voice was clear and measured unlike the cigarette-and-brandy husk she had been sporting lately.

“Oh, thanks, the doctor I’m seeing increased my medication dosage and so far it’s working.”

“What are you taking?”

“Just an anti-anxiety pill and something else to curb the coke cravings, nothing interesting.” Stevie said airily. “Hey, Chris, I’m gonna let you go. I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘night.”

“Alright, Stevie. Goodnight.” Christine hung up the phone.

She took her tea and made her way upstairs, deep in thought. The vague way Stevie described her medication didn’t sit right with her and she had a nagging feeling she was hiding something. But sadly, Christine didn’t know whether it was her place anymore to get to the bottom of it.

* * *

Stevie did stay true to her word and came to work the next day, looking substantially better and switched on. Christine was pleased to see she had brushed her hair and was neatly dressed in a pair of jeans and a beaded jumper. She flashed Christine a sweet smile and said hello to the boys except Lindsey, whom she pointedly ignored. Clearly, her newfound graciousness didn’t extend to her ex boyfriend.

They were taking a break in the RV and Stevie was sitting on the couch, frantically writing in her journal and humming to herself occasionally. Curious, Christine pulled up a chair in front of her and sat on it backwards.

“What are you writing?”

Stevie smiled shyly and passed her journal to her. Christine took it and read the title _‘Welcome to the Room…Sara’_ written in Stevie’s dreamy handwriting; clouds and crescent moons were etched around it and the paper smelled of pressed gardenia.

“It’s a song about my stay in rehab,” Stevie explained. “Sara was the name I used while I was in there-Sara Anderson.”

Christine read what she had written so far, it was typical Stevie, cryptic and poetic and hard to make sense of. But as always, the raw vulnerability was electric and Christine smiled softly to herself as her eyes scanned the heartfelt words.

“Its good, Stevie,” Christine said, handing the book back to her. “I don’t understand what you’re saying as per usual, but its good.”

“I want this to be my song, I want to sing it on my own and have no backing vocals. Just me.” She looked up at Christine hopefully.

“Of course.” Christine smiled, though she didn’t think Lindsey would be too keen on the idea.

Stevie went back to her song. Christine sat beside her and rested her head on the armchair of the couch, falling asleep to the sound of Stevie’s pen scratching delicately across the paper. The silence was peaceful, until someone interrupted it by roughly opening the RV door. When Lindsey’s face peered inside Christine felt like throwing something at him.

“We need you both upstairs.”

“I’m in the middle of writing.” Stevie said, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

“You can write upstairs, let’s go.” He turned to leave, with the expectation that they’d follow.

Christine sat up and rubbed her eyes. “I need a bloody coffee or I’ll kill him.”

Stevie laughed and got up from the couch. “I’ll make you one. They can wait.”

As Stevie pottered around the kitchenette making coffee, Christine felt an intense surge of fondness towards her. The scene almost felt like old times and she held on to it tightly, fearful of the surprises that lurked around the corner, but mildly hopeful at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The girls clearly can’t stay mad at each other for long, I hope you liked this update. The story will start gaining momentum now and I look forward to writing the next few chapters. Cheers – A


	4. Chapter 4

The ‘surprise’ that lurked around the corner was hardly unpredictable but proved unpleasant and draining nonetheless. Mick and John took the day off, so with the session devoted solely on vocals, an infamous Buckingham Nicks row was inevitable and Christine was, for the billionth time, the default mediator.

“Come on, Lindsey, she was joking.” Christine said tiredly. “Nobody thinks you’re a failed solo artist.”

“She fucking meant it and she knows it.” Lindsey glared at Stevie.

“Well, you shouldn’t have called me a ‘glorified backup singer’.” Stevie shot back. “If you don’t want me to be a part of this record, that’s fine by me. I can think of about 10 things I’d rather be doing right now.”

Like a scene in a soap opera, Lindsey’s girlfriend chose that moment to walk in and ask to speak to him. Stevie’s agitated demeanour turned to stone as she watched Lindsey trail after Cheri; she then made a beeline for the bottle of wine sitting on the coffee table. Christine’s heart sank.

“I think we should call it a day,” Christine announced loudly as she anxiously watched Stevie pour herself a drink. “Stevie?”

Stevie grunted and took a long sip of her wine, her face was unreadable.

“Let’s go.” Christine prompted.

She took another sip from the glass and placed it back on the coffee table. Christine handed her purse to her and together they bid goodbye to their team and headed out of the room.

Christine could feel Stevie’s dark mood radiating off her as they exited the house and walked towards their waiting cars. Christine unlocked her car door while Stevie fumbled around for her key, cursing under her breath.

“I’ll see you later, then.” Stevie mumbled.

Seeing Stevie so gloomy struck an involuntary nerve in Christine and she couldn’t let her go without knowing she’d be all right. She knew she was beating herself up over caving in to her temptations.

“Do you want to come over to mine for dinner?” Christine asked her gently.

Stevie looked surprised. “You don’t have plans? I don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding! I can make us something and we can wind down and talk.”

“I’d love that.” Stevie said gratefully.

“Terrific, you remember how to get there?”

“Yeah, of course.” Stevie smiled wanly at her. “Thanks, Chris, I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Christine assured her. “I’ll see you soon.”

* * *

Christine lost sight of Stevie among the bumper-to-bumper traffic so she could only hope she’d reach her house without any problems. She eventually managed to escape the gridlock and turned into her driveway, surprised to see Stevie leaning against her car waiting for her.

“I’d forgotten how normal your neighbourhood is.” Stevie observed as Christine got out of her car.

“What do you mean?”

“Not over the top like where the rest of us live. I sometimes wish I could settle down like normal people do.”

“You’d hate it,” Christine replied bluntly as they walked to her front door. “You’re a nomad and it suits you. I can’t imagine you staying in one place for long, except in Phoenix.”

She turned her key in the lock and they entered her house. Christine flicked the lights on as they went while Stevie took in her surroundings.

“It looks just like how I remembered it!” She beamed.

“Yeah, I keep meaning to renovate but I haven’t been very motivated lately.”

“You should keep it the way it is,” Stevie suggested as they stepped into the kitchen. “Its nice coming to a place that’s familiar, everything else has changed.

Christine didn’t know how to respond and instead went about preparing dinner while Stevie sat at the counter.

“I hope spaghetti is okay?” Christine asked.

“That’s more than okay. Oh my god, remember how we used to have spaghetti all the time in Sausalito? I swear that’s all we used to eat back then.”

Christine laughed. “I remember. We upgraded from Dunkin’ Donuts to Italian and that’s when we knew we had really made it.”

They continued to reminisce about the old days while Christine cooked; their conversation punctuated with light-hearted memories and funny anecdotes. Stevie’s face lit up while she talked and Christine was happy to have circumvented a potentially dark night if she had been alone.

She served up two heaping bowls of spaghetti and they took their meals to Christine’s living room. Christine watched with amusement as Stevie devoured her food.

“Someone’s hungry!”

“I’m starving,” Stevie said through a huge mouthful. “Since I got out of rehab I’ve been eating like crazy, I barely had an appetite before.”

“What was rehab like?” Christine asked her.

“It was awful at the beginning, the withdrawals were like nothing else.” Stevie shuddered. “They don’t hold you there against your will, so I wanted to leave everyday and continue what I was doing. But I stayed and it started getting easier."

Christine smiled. “I’m really happy to hear that, Stevie. A lot of people would have given up and left.”

“Oh trust me, I wanted to. But I had great counsellors who really helped me wake up to myself.” She twirled the remaining strands of pasta around her fork and took a bite. “I know I looked terrible the first few days I came back, but I think that was the anxiety of working with the band again and being in Lindsey’s house. It’s just stressful and that’s why I’ve been drinking.”

“We’re all in the same boat.” Christine said. “This album has been really tedious to make and we’re all feeling it. You’re not alone in that respect.”

Stevie set her empty bowl down on the coffee table. “I can see that. There’s probably been a lot of pressure for you to step up while I’ve been gone.

Christine shrugged. “It’s alright, I’m really happy with the songs I’ve written.” She felt uncomfortable knowing that one was about Stevie, a not so complimentary song at that.

“What else has been happening for you?” Stevie asked, resting her elbow on the back of the couch. “Are you seeing anybody?”

Christine hesitated, her little fling with Eddy was embarrassing but she knew Stevie would understand.

“Well…I met this keyboardist who was touring with me and we sort of hit it off in the beginning.” She took her last bite of her food and placed the bowl next to Stevie’s. “It didn’t really go anywhere but we still meet up. It’s casual and fun, I suppose.”

Stevie looked at Christine intently. “You don’t sound like you’re having much fun.”

“It is while I’m with him but afterwards I just feel like shit. Like something’s missing…I’ve been feeling like that for ages now and not just about him. Maybe it’s a midlife crisis but I feel stuck and bored.”

It was the first time Christine had voiced her problems out loud. She was never one to pour her heart out, but sitting on her couch with Stevie, she felt comfortable and safe to talk about the emptiness she carried with her day in and day out.

“I know that feeling,” Stevie said lowly. “Like every day drags on and you’re unmotivated and need a change.”

Christine nodded. “Exactly that.”

“I hope you’re not thinking of quitting Fleetwood Mac?”

“Sometimes I think I want to.” Christine replied honestly.

Stevie looked devastated. “The band won’t survive without you!”

Christine squeezed Stevie’s arm reassuringly. “Its just a thought when I’m feeling fed up. I would never abandon the band when we’re in the middle of making an album.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Stevie looked visibly relieved. “I’m always here for you, I know I’ve been a crazy bitch lately but I only want what’s best for you and I don’t like to see you unhappy.”

“I’ll be alright.” Christine said. “I want you to get better, too. Today was a blip in your recovery, but the good days will soon outweigh the bad.”

They took their bowls to the kitchen and Stevie helped her clean up, yawning and clearly fading fast. It was a strange sight; Stevie was known to be a complete night owl.

“You should stay the night,” Christine said, watching Stevie rub her temples wearily. “Don’t drive if you’re sleepy.”

“That’s probably a good idea. Thanks, Chris.”

“Go upstairs and take the spare room, its the second door to the left. I’ll give you some night clothes.”

Christine finished cleaning then went upstairs to retrieve some pyjamas for Stevie and got into her own. She took the clothes and entered the spare room to find Stevie sitting on the bed, shaking out a pill into her hand.

“Your medicine?” Christine asked casually as she handed the pyjamas to her.

“Yeah, I take this one before I go to bed.” Stevie explained.

“What are the side effects?”

“Nothing dramatic so far. I guess I get tired quicker and my appetite has increased a bit, I really have to watch my weight now.” She massaged her stomach.

“You’re fine, Stevie.” Christine sighed. “Focus on getting healthy.”

Stevie started to undress and Christine quickly looked away. She didn’t expect her to brazenly take her clothes off after complaining about her weight.

Stevie smirked. “Chris, seriously? You’ve seen me naked hundreds of times!” She unclipped her bra and tossed it to the floor.

Christine blushed. It was true; they had seen each other naked. In many differing contexts.

“I’ll leave you to sleep, then.” Christine said, turning to leave.

Stevie bit her lip. “I...I don’t know how to say this but…” She took a deep breath. “I’ve had such a nice time with you and don’t want it to end. Can you stay with me?”

Christine’s heart melted despite itself. Stevie looked so adorable standing there in Christine’s big t-shirt and shorts; she couldn’t say no to her.

“Sure.”

They got into the comfortable bed and Stevie switched off the bedside lamp. They lay in silence for a while until Christine felt her move close.

“Thanks for making me dinner, Chris, and letting me stay the night.” She said sleepily.

“Anytime, gorgeous.”

She listened to Stevie’s steady, even breaths and soon fell into a deep slumber. Sometime during the night, they reached for each other in their sleep; Stevie’s tiny body corralled against her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Christine and Stevie soon fell into a wholesome pattern of after work dinners, coffees and the occasional sleep over when Stevie was too tired to drive back home. It amused Christine how their relationship went from tense and awkward, to one reminiscent of the closeness they shared during the _Rumours_ days. The only things missing were cocaine and the fabulous view of the Golden Gate from their twin condos in Sausalito.

Unfortunately, Stevie’s emotional instability at work was an issue; there were days when she was inspired and buoyant and fun to be around, then others punctuated by a dark cloud that hung over her, ruining the mood for the rest of the band who were hardly thriving, either.

“Can you keep your shitty comments to yourself for once?” Christine snapped at Lindsey after a particularly sour session. “Can’t you see how it affects her?”

Lindsey shrugged moodily. “She pushes and pushes me and knows exactly what she’s doing. I’m not gonna lie down and take her shit.”

The bands’ arguments would push Stevie over the edge into the depths of a brandy or tequila bottle. There were days it got so bad that she and Mick would huddle in the RV and lose themselves to alcohol and cocaine, respectively. It was reckless and dangerous and Christine was terrified that a vulnerable Stevie would relapse.

If Stevie went home directly after a bad day, Christine would call to make sure she was alright. She told her she loved her and had worries when she’d leave without a word and Stevie would often reply with a giggle and say she knew how to keep herself safe. That was typical Stevie, wilful and independent and utterly unpredictable. In happier circumstances, those traits would have been alluring but after everything the singer had been through, it kept everyone in her life on high alert.

Christine had the day off and Stevie was all set to record her vocals for _‘Welcome to the Room…Sara’._ Lindsey read the lyrics and immediately took to it, proving that despite their decades worth of issues, he still understood Stevie’s words like no one else. Christine, John and Mick all collectively crossed their fingers in hope that he’d let her sing the song on her own without any unnecessary dramas or conflict.

Out of sheer listlessness and boredom, Christine invited Eddy over to take her mind off what was going on at Lindsey’s. His eager kisses and touch kept her distracted for a little while, but eventually, she became annoyed by his presence and was ready to get him out of her house.

“We should do this more often.” He said, trailing his fingers down Christine’s arm. “Why don’t we do this more often?”

Christine sighed impatiently. “I have a job that takes up most of my time, these days.”

“But when you come home you’re by yourself.” Eddy pointed out insensitively.

“So?”

“So wouldn’t it be better if you didn’t come back to an empty house?”

Christine snorted. “Please don’t tell me you want to move in here.”

“Would that really be a bad idea?” He whispered into her ear and slowly pulled the covers away from her naked form.

Christine’s extension rang loudly and she welcomed the interruption. She tried to wrap the bed sheet around her but Eddy stubbornly persisted.

“Ignore it.” Eddy suggested.

“I can’t.” She swatted his hand away from her breast and picked up her telephone. “Christine speaking.”

“Hey Chris, it’s John. Sorry to bother you on your day off but we have a problem. Can you possibly come over if you’re not busy?”

Christine sat up. “What happened?”

John paused; Christine could tell her ex was carefully choosing his words. “It’s Lindsey and Stevie, he wants to add some of his vocals to her song and they’ve gotten into a huge row. Mick is here trying to mediate but I think he’s made things worse.”

“Fuck,” Christine said, running her hand through her hair. “I’ll be there soon.”

“Cheers Chris, I’m sorry I did this to you.”

“Don’t worry about it, bye Johnny.”

“What does he want?” Eddy asked suspiciously as Chris got up from the bed and frantically searched for her clothes.

“He wants me to meet up with him to shag him senseless.” Chris replied sarcastically while she pulled on her underwear and jeans. “Is that what you want to hear?”

“Why do you drop everything every time some bullshit happens over there?”

Christine finished buttoning up her shirt and looked at Eddy with more unguarded emotion than she’d ever shown him before.

“Because they’re my friends and that’s just how it is.”

* * *

Christine could feel the aftermath of Stevie’s rage as soon as she stepped in to Lindsey’s house. There was a huge stain on the studio wall from when Stevie threw a vodka bottle in a fit of explosive anger and glass was scattered all across the expensive carpet. Stevie had locked herself in the bathroom and refused to come out until Lindsey dropped his backing vocals from her song, which he point blank said wasn’t an option.

The women sat together in the bathroom while Mick and John tried to calm down a fuming Lindsey who was ready to kick Stevie out of the band right then and there.

“This is like Silver Springs all over again.” Stevie spat. “I’m so sick of being fucked over by everyone.”

“It’s only a few lines, Stevie.” Christine tried to reason with her. “It’s still very much your song and no one’s going to see it as a duet.”

Stevie blew her nose on a piece of toilet paper. “It sounds like he’s howling over me and his voice just spoils it.”

Christine had to hold back a laugh. Stevie and Lindsey howling over one another was commonplace in their music.

“This song is so personal to me,” Stevie said softly, staring at the floor. “It’s about my experience and what I’ve been through, yet he has to make it all about him.”

“How can we make this better?” Christine murmured. “I’m sorry, darling, but I don’t think Lindsey is going to change his mind. But we can reach a compromise, surely.”

Stevie rested her chin in her hand and was quiet for a long moment. Christine could practically see the cogs turning in her brain and hoped she wouldn’t blurt out something extreme like ‘I’m quitting’ or ‘Let’s just scrap this song’.

“How about you sing a couple of lines with me?” She suggested.

Christine raised her eyebrows, surprised. “Are you sure?”

“I’d feel more comfortable if you’re there too.”

Christine nodded. “Okay, I can do that.”

They got up and Stevie tried to fix herself in the mirror.

“God, I’m a mess.” She shuddered, staring at her mascara stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. “No wonder everyone thinks I’m a fucking drama queen.”

“You are, but that’s okay.” Christine teased gently as she soaked a piece of tissue paper and rubbed off the kohl smeared on Stevie’s flushed face. “We’ve all had our moments.”

“I don’t know what I would do with out you, seriously.” Stevie said. “You’re one of the only people who has genuinely asked me if I’m okay and been there for me.”

She kissed Christine on the cheek and squeezed her arm softly. She stood close enough that Christine could see the tears clinging on to her long eyelashes.

“What are friends for?” Christine said quickly and threw the tissues in the bin in a fluster, nearly missing it entirely. “As bloody clichéd as that sounds.”

Stevie giggled and together they left the bathroom, ready to turn a disastrous day around.

* * *

Stevie, Lindsey and Christine somehow managed to get through the song without any major arguments, though the tension between the former couple was palpable. It was going to be a long time before either of them apologised and Lindsey was still threatening under his breath to throw Stevie out of Fleetwood Mac long after they’d stopped recording. But with the majority of vocals and keyboard work done, the girls had a couple of weeks off, and Christine was looking forward to being away from Lindsey’s house and his obsessive attitude that drove her up the wall.

They drove back to Christine’s house and she gently shook a sleeping Stevie awake. She blinked up blearily at her as she got her bearings and stepped out of the car.

“You should go the doctor and ask him about your fatigue,” Christine suggested, unable to keep the bossy tone out of her voice. “You never used to sleep this much. Are you sure your dosage isn’t too strong?”

“I’m fine, Chris.” Stevie replied tersely. “I’m just tired after today and from dealing with Lindsey in general.”

A little later they were sitting on Christine’s living room couch with two steaming cups of tea in front of them. Stevie drew her knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them, deep in thought.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do over the next couple of weeks.” She mused. “What are your plans?”

“I don’t know, maybe a small trip away if I can think of a place.”

“You know where I’ve been thinking about a lot, recently?” Stevie said. “Sausalito.”

“I didn’t know you were so fond of it.” Christine said.

“I guess I’m feeling nostalgic.” She smiled.

“Are you going to go with security? You’ll definitely get recognised.” Christine warned.

“No, but I’m willing to take that risk. You should come with me!” Stevie exclaimed.

Christine thought about it. The prospect of some time away in an understated, waterside town that meant so much to her was appealing. Sausalito brought back a kaleidoscope of memories and she couldn’t envision going back with anyone but Stevie.

There was something else from that time period that ran as an electric undercurrent through Christine and Stevie’s colourful friendship. The magnetic pull they last relinquished control to when they were both drunk and troubled during the _Tusk_ tour six years ago. Christine still felt it and she was pretty sure Stevie did too; it was obvious in the small smiles they shared and the way they curled against each other in their sleep. Their moments were fleeting yet powerful and a trip to where it all began was dangerous yet enticing at the same time.

“Will you?” Stevie asked her again with a mischievous glint in her eye.

Against all her better judgement, Christine nodded. If Stevie’s cheeky smile was anything to go by, she was in for a _very_ wild ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as always ☺


	6. Chapter 6

Ann Perfect and Sara Anderson were the names Christine and Stevie used when they checked into their bungalow in Sausalito a few days later. The band’s travel agent had insisted the accommodation’s owner would uphold their privacy, but Christine wanted to avoid unnecessary attention at all costs.

The bungalow was beautiful and ideal for their short stay. Cosy and well furnished with a gorgeous balcony that overlooked the shimmery waters of the bay, Christine felt a sense of calm as soon as she stepped in. She looked over at Stevie and smiled at the obvious contentment on her face, she looked more like her old, glowing self and it made Christine very happy.

Christine unpacked her suitcase in her room and found Stevie standing on the balcony, gazing out at the sea. She quietly moved to stand next to her and the scene was all too familiar.

“Doesn’t it feel like just yesterday?” Christine said.

“I know.” Stevie replied, not tearing her eyes away from the fantastic view in front of them. “It really hasn’t changed much, it’s kind of scary but magical at the same time.”

It was true. The landscape remained very much the same, as if it was frozen in time. When Christine drove her convertible down the windy roads in town she felt like she was 32 again with a 27-year-old Stevie by her side; it was an otherworldly feeling.

“We should snoop around Record Plant and see who’s there.” Christine suggested. “Are you up for another drive?”

Stevie nodded eagerly. “Let’s go.”

* * *

Christine drove slowly to Record Plant while she and Stevie pointed out familiar landmarks that served as the backdrop to their chaotic lives in 1976. There was the boutique that sold dainty cocaine necklaces-Christine still had hers stashed somewhere in her house-and the café they both frequented for Irish coffee after a gruelling recording session. The piers remained very much the same and Christine remembered all the walks she and Stevie used to take in the balmy summer evenings. She didn’t think they’d be able to get away with a casual stroll anymore, but adventurous Stevie thought it was worth a try.

She turned into the parking lot of Record Plant and the pair got out of the car, staring at the recording studio that changed their lives forever. The building remained exactly the same, slightly foreboding and windowless. There were a few cars in the parking lot and Christine imagined a bright-eyed young band pouring their hearts out into a record with the hope it would turn them into stars.

“I don’t think we can go inside.” Stevie said.

“No, we probably shouldn’t. I think there’s a session going on in there.”

The door opened and both women froze, suddenly aware of how awkward they looked dithering in front of the studio. Two striking young men appeared and Christine vaguely recognised them from some up and coming hard rock band she couldn’t remember the name of. One had black curly hair that was wild and untamed while the other had long, straight red hair. They both glanced at the Fleetwood Mac girls disinterestedly and didn’t appear to recognise them, even Stevie. Christine found it amusing but Stevie looked taken aback; she wasn’t used to being ignored.

“Should we go?” She muttered, staring at the two young men saunter out of the parking lot.

“Yeah, sure. Let’s go and get some dinner.” Christine suggested, opening her car door.

They drove out of the studio parking lot in contemplative silence and passed the two men walking up the street. The redhead turned to look at Stevie and flashed a brilliant smile while his friend waved. Stevie couldn’t supress a small grin and Christine laughed at her reaction, her friend could never remain anonymous for too long.

* * *

Christine and Stevie discovered a Mexican restaurant close to their bungalow that was perfect for a quiet, easy night. Their table was semi secluded on the balcony facing the twinkling harbour lights and the air was crisp and cool.

Christine ordered a gin and tonic while Stevie ordered a glass of red wine. Christine opened her mouth to voice her disapproval but was met with a look that suggested ‘Don’t you dare start’ so she decided to leave it for the time being.

“Well our trip to the recording studio was short lived.” Christine observed as she took a big gulp of her drink.

Stevie shrugged. “It felt weird being there.”

Christine agreed, she didn’t think she’d feel so oddly detached from the place that played such a pivotal role in her career. But there were difficult memories and traumas associated with her time there that she still couldn’t shake, and she knew Stevie and the boys felt the same way about their own experiences.

“We went through a lot.” She pointed out. “All of us were in such a bad shape and there were so many drugs at our disposal, we were a mess.”

Stevie raised her eyebrow sardonically. “Have things really changed?”

“I’d like to think there are less drugs. But we’re all still a mess.”

“You’re not a mess at all.” Stevie smiled at her encouragingly.

“You’ll be alright, too, Stevie. I’m proud of you, even though I yell at you sometimes.”

Stevie laughed and they spent the rest of the evening talking and exchanging stories about their highs and lows over the past ten years and what they wanted for the future. Christine continued to drink while Stevie stopped after her second glass of wine. The alcohol started to kick in and she felt warm and happy, everything began to emit a soft glow and she couldn’t remember the last time she felt this relaxed and content.

Christine gave Stevie her car key and they drove back to their bungalow, laughing and singing along to the radio like the old days. They stumbled inside and Christine spun dramatically into her room before collapsing on top of her bed.

“You’re about to outdo me with the twirling.” Stevie joked as she lay down beside her and propped her head on her elbow.

Christine laughed. “Darling, I don’t think anyone can outdo you.”

Stevie blushed and Christine fondly pinched one of her pink tinted cheeks.

“I’ve missed seeing you blush like that.” She said. “I wish we didn’t fall out of each other’s lives over the past two years. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you through your divorce and addiction.”

“That’s okay.” Stevie said. “We weren’t great people to each other and I pushed you away. I wish I could take that back but I can’t.”

Christine gave her a small smile and held her arms out for Stevie to slide into them. She intertwined her legs with hers and held the younger woman close, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair. It hit her how much she’d missed Stevie and how much her absence had cost her. She missed her talent for storytelling, her giggles and her wicked sense of humour; she vowed to never let her go again.

Stevie sighed contently and Christine held her tighter, stroking her back. She felt Stevie shiver at the contact and Christine’s breath hitched, it was the most intimate they had gotten over the past few weeks and it was a nice, pleasurable feeling.

“Chris?” Stevie whispered, lifting her head up so her long hair shrouded the two of them.

Christine’s heart started pounding in her chest. Stevie’s lips were inches from her own and she could see every detail of her deep brown eyes.

Stevie closed the gap between them and softly kissed Christine’s lips. It was quick and breathy and Christine thought she’d imagined it. She cupped Stevie’s cheek in her hand and brought her down for another kiss, their mouths moving against each other’s slowly. Stevie moaned when Christine ran her tongue along her bottom lip before slipping it inside, exploring the inside of her mouth sensually. Her grip on her tightened as they continued to kiss, rediscovering that electric pull and wanting to give in to it completely. Christine was about to roll her over when Stevie gently pulled away.

Christine made a noise of disapproval. “Did I do something wrong?”

Stevie shook her head gently and pecked her on the lips. “No, babe, I’m just aware that you’re a bit drunk and I want us to be sober when or if we…you know…”

“I suppose you’re right, gorgeous.” She sighed, stroking her cheek.

“Mmm I love it when you call me that.” Stevie purred.

Christine chuckled and Stevie leaned in to kiss her again, their bodies melting into one another’s as the outside world faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. A small note for anyone who was wondering, the two guys Chris and Stevie saw at Record Plant were Slash and Axl Rose from Guns n’ Roses. They never recorded anything there; I just wanted to include a small crossover between my two favourite bands. Sorry if you disliked it or it didn’t make sense. The next chapter should be uploaded soon ☺ - A


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit.

Christine woke up the next morning in Stevie’s tight embrace, her arms locked around her waist and her chin resting on her shoulder. She gently disentangled her body from Stevie’s and stretched, while Stevie burrowed further underneath the covers, the top of her head just visible above the blanket. Christine slowly pulled the blanket from her face so she could breathe and kissed her cheek, grazing her thumb against the soft skin while Stevie slept on peacefully.

They had done nothing but kiss and talk all night until exhaustion eventually took over them and they fell asleep in each other’s arms. It felt right and wholesome but with an undercurrent of desire and want. That was how it was with Stevie, their relationship was intense and complicated and neither of them could hold back their feelings for too long.

It was only a matter of time before they gave in. As the day progressed, every tiny gesture turned Christine on and brought her closer to Stevie in ways she never imagined. It was the little bits of intimacy; she made herself a hot chocolate and Stevie took a sip, turning the mug so her mouth landed where hers had been. Or the way her stomach flipped while she watched Stevie shake her hair loose from her braid. Later during the afternoon, they drove to Vina del Mar Park and lazed in the grass. Christine dozed off in the middle of one of Stevie’s sentences and woke up to her still talking as if nothing had changed. But of course, everything had.

Christine was lying on one of the balcony lounge chairs smoking when it finally happened. One minute she was taking a drag of her cigarette then the next minute, a freshly made up Stevie was looming over her. She gently prised her cigarette from her lips and took a puff before filling her mouth with smoke and her wet tongue. Christine’s body shivered as she exhaled and she quickly stubbed the rest of the cigarette out while Stevie sat astride her.

It was then that Christine noticed Stevie’s outfit-or lack thereof. She was wearing a see through black slip with a split down the middle paired with a lacy thong that left nothing to the imagination.

“You must have had a premonition and brought this with you knowing I will see it.” Christine said jokingly as she ran her hand up Stevie’s side, her fingers grazing the curve of her breast.

Stevie giggled sexily. “Well I figured you’ve never seen me in lingerie so why not start now?”

She bent down to kiss Christine long and hard, her tongue firmly massaging hers. Christine moaned into her mouth and weaved her hand through Stevie’s hair, bringing her face closer and deepening the kiss. Stevie pulled away to kiss down her neck, suckling on her skin in a way that had Christine writhing underneath her. She felt hot and flustered and she needed to take Stevie inside before they ended up fucking on the balcony.

“Let’s go inside shall we?” Christine breathed while Stevie took her shirt off and helped her shimmy her jeans down her legs.

“Definitely.” Stevie replied huskily, climbing off her and offering a hand for Christine to take.

They practically ran to Stevie’s bedroom where Christine was pushed back on the bed and Stevie sat astride her again. They continued to kiss passionately until Christine sat up to part Stevie’s barely there teddy to leave soft open-mouthed kisses across her stomach. Stevie sighed as Christine pulled her flush against her chest, removing the flimsy garment so her breasts spilled out before her. She took a rosy nipple in her mouth and sucked it softly while her hand massaged the other breast. Stevie moaned deeply at her ministrations and arched her back while Christine switched breasts to suck her other nipple harder and more insistently.

She attended to her breasts for a while, thoroughly enjoying how full and lush they were. Stevie had gained a bit of weight over the years and it made her body even more enchanting. Christine ran her hands up and down her back while she nipped and licked over her breasts, the heightened pleasure causing Stevie to subconsciously roll her hips so her arousal seeped into Christine’s thigh. She moaned into Stevie’s chest and trailed her hand down to tease her through her lacy thong, rolling her thumb against her clit in slow circles.

“Fuck, Chris, I need you.” Stevie whined, tugging at her hair.

Christine flipped Stevie over and took control, kissing her fiercely as Stevie reached up to undo her bra. Christine threw it somewhere behind her and pressed her breasts against Stevie’s while she kissed her. Stevie’s hands crept up from Christine’s waist to cup her breasts and she groaned against Stevie’s mouth, her kiss becoming sloppy as she struggled to retain control while Stevie thumbed her nipples.

She moved her mouth down Stevie’s body until she was at her centre, she kissed her core and Stevie bucked her hips in anticipation. Christine smirked and placed a series of kisses across both her inner thighs before slowly slipping her soaked thong down her legs. She gazed into Stevie’s eyes and ran her tongue over her lips before she dove in to where she needed her most.

She swirled her tongue through the wetness that had seeped out of Stevie’s core before sucking on her folds, rediscovering the taste of her velvety skin. Stevie gasped, spearing her hands through Christine’s hair as she grinded against her mouth. Christine licked up her pussy to her aching clit and took it in her mouth, flicking her tongue against it before sucking the nub hard.

“Mmm, oh God, baby, don’t stop.” Stevie moaned, rolling her hips faster.

Christine slowly entered her dripping core with two fingers and thrust in time to Stevie’s frantic movements. She stroked her g-spot while she continued to lick her clit, inserting a third finger as Stevie’s arousal dripped down her hand. She could feel Stevie clench around her and knew she was close, so she moved her free hand to roll Stevie’s nipple and that was enough for her to come long and hard, moaning Christine’s name.

Christine lapped her release and kissed her core softly, causing Stevie to jolt at the sensations. She slid up Stevie’s body, stopping to gently kiss her breasts, before she was face to face with her.

“Stevie, gorgeous, look at me.” She whispered, caressing Stevie’s cheek.

Stevie opened her eyes and gazed at Christine in pure adoration.

“Mmm, I missed you fucking me like that. You’re so good.” Stevie murmured as she kissed her lovingly

“I’m glad you still think that way.” Christine grinned.

Stevie began kissing the curve of Christine’s neck, leaving a love bite behind her ear. Christine purred as Stevie claimed her lips again before moving southwards to run her tongue along her collarbone. She slid further down her body and sucked eagerly at her erect nipple while her fingers played with the other. Christine arched her back to push more of her breast into her mouth and Stevie moaned against her. She trailed her hands down her body and removed Christine’s saturated underwear, brushing her fingers lightly across her slick pussy before spreading the wetness around her core.

“Mmm, Stevie.” Christine moaned; the feeling of Stevie’s tongue still working her nipple while her fingers massaged her core was exquisite and she knew she wouldn’t last long.

Stevie let go of her breast and ran her tongue down her stomach, pausing to dart her tongue in and out of her naval. Christine bucked her hips in response and Stevie grazed her teeth against her pelvic bone before finally moving to her centre. She kissed her clit then dragged her mouth down her slit and entered Christine’s pussy with her tongue. She moved languidly at first, until Christine’s moans grew louder and desperate, encouraging Stevie to pick up the pace. She moved her tongue rapidly, brushing against Christine’s g-spot until she was practically convulsing.

“Fuck, baby, I’m going to come.” Christine panted while she squeezed her sensitive breasts; her body felt alight with desire.

Stevie rapidly thumbed her clit in time with her tongue and Christine tumbled off the edge, thrusting her hips violently as Stevie helped her ride her orgasm. She licked the wetness off her inner thighs and moved up to kiss Christine deeply, letting her taste herself. Christine moaned, her core still throbbing after her release. They kissed for several moments until Stevie nuzzled her face in her neck, relaxing into her. Christine sighed contently and drew circles on Stevie’s dewy back.

“That was incredible.” Stevie murmured into her neck. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too. I haven’t felt that way in years.”

Stevie looked up at her and bit her lip. “Do you still find me attractive?”

Christine frowned and pushed Stevie’s fringe away from her face. “Of course I do! You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. Why are you talking like that?”

Stevie’s mouth quivered slightly. “I’m not as thin as I once was. I’ve gained weight and my body has changed.”

Christine wiped the tears that fell from Stevie’s eyes and looked at her earnestly. “Stevie, I don’t care about that. I want you to be healthy and you’re so beautiful and sexy to me, you have no idea. I’ve changed too, we’re getting older and it’s fine.”

Stevie gave her a watery smile and Christine kissed her reassuringly.

“Would you like me to show you again just how beautiful I find you?” Christine whispered, sucking on Stevie’s bottom lip.

“ _Yes_.” Stevie breathed as Christine squeezed her ass.

Christine smiled and rolled Stevie beneath her, parting her legs to make love to her once more. The sounds of her cries were music to her ears and she knew she could never get enough of her.


	8. Chapter 8

Christine had always carried a torch for Stevie, even during the years when they were barely communicating. So the rest of their stay in Sausalito felt like something out a dream, a burst of technicolour magic that left them warm and giddy and wanting more of each other. The sex was unreal and unlike anything either of them had ever experienced. But Christine knew their relationship extended beyond physical intimacy and into the realms of something that both excited and terrified her.

She was going to miss waking up to the bay views with Stevie cuddled up to her side and the prospect of a lazy day stretched out before her, but she also felt energised and motivated to return to work. She spent the last night in their bungalow trying to convince a nervous Stevie to feel the same way.

“We’re on the home stretch now with this album, Stevie.” Christine advised the disgruntled blonde as they lay in bed together. “Before you know it we’ll be touring and I know how much you love being on stage.”

“I know, Chris.” Stevie sighed, stroking Christine’s hair as she held her against her chest. “I’m just sick of fighting with the boys and I’m sure there will be more of that when we go home.”

Christine lifted her head to kiss her cheek softly. “You can’t run away from real life forever, honey.”

Stevie didn’t respond; instead she kissed Christine passionately and soon they were repeating the evening’s events for the third time around.

Two days later they were settling back in L.A. and trying to refocus. The band arranged to meet up at Lindsey’s to listen to the playback of the album and Christine was excited to hear what the fruits of her labour sounded like. Stevie, however, remained indifferent and Christine was disappointed yet not surprised. She knew her heart wasn’t in it and Fleetwood Mac had become somewhat of side project in the shadow of her glittery solo career.

Christine was making them breakfast-Stevie had yet to return to her own house and was sleeping soundly in Christine’s bed-when the phone rang.

“Hello?” She answered.

“Hey, Chris, its Lindsey.”

“Hi, Linds.”

“Had a good break?” Without waiting for an answer Lindsey lowered his voice and said, “I need to talk to you about something.”

Christine sighed as she flipped over an omelette; she hadn’t missed Lindsey’s foreboding way of speaking. “What is it?”

“Its about the playback. Firstly, I want you to know that your songs are amazing and you’ll be really happy when you hear them.”

“Wow, that’s great.” Christine replied, genuinely touched by Lindsey’s appreciation for her music. “What about Stevie’s?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Lindsey took a deep breath. “It’s been a struggle trying to master her vocals. Most of her material is total shit and her voice is horrendous, so she’s only featured on two songs.”

Christine slid the cooked omelette onto a plate and tried to process what Lindsey was saying. “Her people are going to throw a fit.”

“Her management can go fuck themselves, this is the best I can do.” Lindsey said defensively. “Unless she’s willing to sober up and redo _When I See You Again,_ she’ll just have to deal with it. We’ve already wasted too much time pandering to her shit.”

“Stevie’s doing better.” Christine tried to reason with him. “The break did her a world of good and I’m sure she can redo a couple of her songs with minimal drama.”

“Hmm if you say so.” Lindsey didn’t sound convinced. “Where did you two go, anyway?”

“Sausalito.”

“Huh. Besides walking down memory lane there’s not much to do there. How did you keep yourselves occupied for two weeks?” Lindsey asked curiously.

“We just relaxed and hung out.” Christine said casually. “Look, Lindsey, I have to go. Thanks for the heads up and I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay, see you, Chris.” He hung up the phone.

Christine continued to make breakfast while her brain was in a complete fluster. She hadn’t even set foot into the studio and she was already stressed out.

“Who was that on the phone?” Stevie’s voice suddenly came from the kitchen door, causing Christine to jump.

“No one.” Christine replied quickly.

Stevie smiled sleepily and came up behind Christine, wrapping her arms around her waist. “I’m sorry I scared you.”

Christine reached behind to intertwine her fingers through Stevie’s curly hair as Stevie kissed the back of her neck. She turned around and kissed her softly on the lips, desperately trying to preserve the quiet moments of bliss before the inevitable storm.

* * *

When Christine and Stevie arrived at Lindsey’s house a few hours later they were shocked by everyone’s appearance. While they were glowing and radiant from their time away, the boys were worse for wear. Both Mick and John looked completely strung out and haggard and while Lindsey was fine physically, he presented as anxious and irritable. The air was fraught and tense and Christine desperately wanted to take John aside afterwards to catch up and ask whether he was okay.

She sat next to him in the studio with her notepad and pen in her lap while Stevie lounged on the sofa next to Mick, her legs propped up on the coffee table. She already looked bored and her eyes were far away and Christine couldn’t help but feel a twinge of annoyance at her complete disinterest.

Richard played the finished product over the fancy sound system Lindsey had installed and the band listened in silence. As the music played on, Christine was pleasantly surprised to hear the record wasn’t so much of a ‘Lindsey Show’ as she’d expected and she was thrilled with the way her songs came out. _Everywhere, Little Lies_ and _Isn’t It Midnight?_ were knockouts and _Mystified_ and held a certain charm of its own. Christine beamed when the playback finished and John nudged her proudly.

Christine looked at Stevie and her heart sank at the ugly scowl painted on her face. While the boys made a genuine effort to congratulate Christine on her amazing contributions, Stevie remained glued to her seat in a stony silence.

“What do you think, Stevie?” Mick asked her after he gave Christine his customary bear hug and a big kiss on the cheek.

Stevie’s eyes darkened at Mick’s cheeriness. “It’s like I’m not even on this record. I can’t hear myself at all.”

Christine felt a surge of white-hot anger. She hadn’t felt this furious and let down since Stevie revealed she was having an affair with Mick nearly a decade ago. _Of course_ she had to turn Christine’s success into a pity party for herself; she couldn’t handle the attention and praise being showered on another member of the band despite knowing she was largely absent during the album’s recording process. It was Christine who brought on the producers, who set the ball rolling and put her heart and soul into producing impeccable work over the past year. But Stevie couldn’t care less; in her mind, rolling in at the last minute to make half assed contributions were enough to warrant all the credit and recognition as lead vocalist for a record she was barely a part of.

Lindsey was about to throw out an icy comment when Christine cut across him. “We wanted you to sing on it too. But you weren’t here. Now why don’t you just say you’re sorry and we’ll work it out.”

Stevie’s jaw dropped and Christine raised her chin defiantly. She should know by now that just because they were fucking, it didn’t mean Christine would go easy on her or hold back on any necessary home truths. It was not in her nature to sugar coat or pussyfoot around, especially when she was angry.

“Christine’s right.” Lindsey chipped in triumphantly. “We’ve wanted to work with you but you’ve been in such a shit way. You can decide whether you want to have another song on this album, and we can layer your vocals into some of the others. It’s up to you but we’re not gonna wait around either.”

Stevie told Lindsey to shove the record up his ass and stormed out of the room, but Christine did not have any intention of going after her; she was so pissed off and disheartened by Stevie’s selfishness to care about her potential downward spiral.

“Well that went well.” John observed dryly.

Christine could only shrug and roll her eyes.

* * *

Christine returned home later feeling frustrated and deflated. She was angry with Stevie but angrier with herself for believing that Stevie had changed. She came back from Sausalito hopeful they could make a proper go of a relationship, but after the scene Stevie pulled at Lindsey’s house, she wasn’t so sure.

She arranged with John to meet up for dinner during the week to see how things were going with him. He had offered to take her after the band’s shaky meeting but she just wanted to go home and reflect on the day’s events alone. The solitude didn’t bring her any comfort and she went to bed feeling empty and miserable; over the past two weeks she had gotten used to going to bed with Stevie at night and waking up to her beautiful face in the morning. Despite her hurt and resentment, she missed her presence.

The doorbell rang when Christine was about to fall asleep so she was about to ignore it until the sound reverberated through her house for the second time. Cursing under her breath she threw on her dressing gown and headed downstairs; ready to tell who ever it was to fuck off. She flung upon the door and was surprised to see Stevie on the other side, looking dishevelled and red eyed with tear stained cheeks. She looked as upset as Christine felt.

“Please don’t tell me you drove here in this state.” Christine muttered.

Without warning, Stevie launched herself in Christine’s arms and sobbed uncontrollably into her neck.

“Stevie-“

“I’m so sorry.” Stevie wept. “I love you so much and I am so proud of you.”

Christine felt her icy demeanour melt at Stevie’s words and tears threatened to spill out of her eyes as she held the shaking blonde close. Overwhelmed by emotion, she pulled her inside while Stevie whispered ‘I love you’ over and over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The argument that occurred between Christine and Stevie while they listened to the album is taken from the direct alleged quotes in canon. Christine shined in Tango In The Night and I wished she got more credit. Anyway, thanks for reading as always ☺


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the length, people have a lot to say.

A few days later, Christine recorded her final overdubs then sat with Lindsey in his backyard reminiscing over the past eighteen months. Christine was surprised to discover they both shared similar views; they agreed the recording process had been tedious and drawn out, even by Fleetwood Mac standards, and they couldn’t wait to release the album and be done with it.

“I didn’t even want to do this album,” Lindsey confided in her over a cigarette. “I wanted to do something on my own but Mick had other ideas.”

“He’s broke and saw your solo work as a way to get the band back together to turn things around for him.” Christine replied bluntly. “I know this was the last thing you wanted to do.”

Lindsey shrugged. “It’s certainly been stressful pulling everyone together. I know I’ve been a complete dick over the past year and I’m sorry.”

Christine couldn’t help but give him an affectionate smile. “You know that’s probably the first time I’ve heard you apologise? I think I’m witnessing an iconic event.”

Lindsey laughed. “Yeah, well, you’re the only one who’ll be hearing it.”

Christine took a drag of her cigarette and exhaled slowly. “Stevie has been doing a lot of apologising lately, too.”

“Well, good for her but she’s yet to say sorry to me.” Lindsey said bitterly. “Yeah, it’s great that she was able to re record _When I See You Again,_ but it’s not enough. I was up the whole night last night trying to recreate her vocals with a Fairlight synth, that’s what we’ve resorted to.”

Christine looked at her band mate and felt a strong sense of empathy and compassion towards him. Lindsey could be an insensitive asshole but she understood he was under a lot of pressure to deliver the goods. The past eighteen months were hell for him and she wished she’d been a bit kinder.

“I appreciate all the hard work you put in, I really do.” Christine said sincerely. “You’re a brilliant producer and this album is going to kick arse. Stevie’s just…Stevie. There’s no other way to describe her.”

Lindsey extinguished the rest of his cigarette and looked at her with his sad, intense blue eyes. “Eleven years ago when Stevie and I joined Fleetwood Mac I never thought things would end up like this.” He said quietly. “We weren’t in the best place then but we were a team. Now, I don’t even recognise her.”

Christine was nearly at a loss for words and saddened by the hurt Lindsey silently carried around with him.

“Both of you will eventually work it out and be friends again.” Christine tried to advise him. “A lot has happened over the years and you’re different people, now. But nothing’s beyond repair.”

Lindsey gave her a rueful smile. “We’ll see. I’m glad she has you though; you’re so good and patient with her, which is what I’ve always lacked. You understand her flaws and still love her for them. I get pissed off by the slightest thing.”

Christine nodded uncomfortably and looked away, pretending to be engrossed in the stunning views of the Hollywood hills surrounding them. Ironically and obliviously Lindsey had summarised her feelings well; Stevie was a complicated enigma and a lot to handle, but Christine loved her, flaws and all.

* * *

Christine arrived home a little later with a lot on her mind. She left Lindsey’s promising him she would be there if he needed someone to talk to, and she’d meant it, but the offer felt dishonest and hypocritical. Here she was trying to be a good friend to her band mate while she was going home to his ex girlfriend behind his back. The whole situation made her feel uneasy and guilty.

Stevie opened the door before Christine had even walked up the front steps and the sight of her beautiful, bright smile was enough for her problems to melt away. She wanted this to be their life, living together and coming home to each other without worrying what everyone else would think and who would be affected. If things were that simple she would have made their relationship official already.

“How was your day?” Stevie asked her happily with a kiss.

“It was good, I think my vocals are finished for the most part.” Christine replied, kissing her back. “Lindsey and I actually had a long talk afterwards.”

“Oh yeah? What about?” Stevie asked nonchalantly as they made their way to the kitchen.

“Well he has been going through a lot that we don’t know about.” Christine said carefully, trying to gauge Stevie’s reaction.

“Cry me a river.” Stevie muttered under her breath.

Christine sighed exasperatedly. “You should seriously try to iron out your differences with him, he still cares about you, you know.”

“Not interested.” Stevie replied lightly. “He and I have tried to be friends and it doesn’t work. It’s not happening.”

Christine decided it was best to avoid a potential argument and changed the subject. “What are your plans for tonight while I’m out with John?”

“I’ll probably see Lori, Sharon and some of the girls.”

“That sounds like a great idea!” Christine exclaimed. Since leaving rehab, the once social and gregarious Stevie had retreated away from her gaggle of girlfriends and into a self-imposed shell. It made Christine genuinely happy to see her reach out to her friends again.

“Yeah, you should swing by afterwards.” Stevie suggested.

“I’ll see.” Christine glanced at her watch. “I’m going to have a shower and get changed, I’ll see you later.”

Stevie smiled and kissed her so ferociously that Christine almost forgot she had somewhere to be.

“Try not to miss me too much.” Stevie said huskily after she pulled away.

Christine grinned back at her, slightly breathless. “I’ll try not to.”

* * *

“Hi love!” John greeted Christine with a peck on the cheek. “You look stunning.”

“You look terrible.” Christine said honestly as she took her seat. It was true, her ex husband looked like he hadn’t slept in days and she suspected stress and alcohol had a lot to do with his rough appearance.

John dismissively waved off Christine’s observation and poured her a glass of water.

“Seriously, John, you really need to look after yourself.”

“I’m fine, Chrissy. Once this bloody album is finished I’ll start focusing on my health again.”

Christine was going to continue her lecture when a waiter appeared and took their drinks order.

“We’ll have two lemon lime sodas, please.” Christine said firmly.

The waiter left and John shook his head in mock annoyance.

“You knew I was going to do that, surely.”

“Wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Chris, you’re always looking out for everyone.”

Christine shrugged. “It’s become second nature, I guess.”

Their waiter returned with their drinks and John promptly asked for a beer to replace his soda. Christine clucked her tongue in disapproval, but ultimately decided to let it go. She’d spent years fighting John’s drinking problem and realised it wasn’t her place to comment anymore, that was for her successor to deal with.

“How’s Julie?” She asked politely after they’d made their dinner order.

“She’s fine, she’s doing whatever she’s doing, I guess.” John answered airily. “How are things with that toy boy you’re seeing?”

“He’s fine, he’s doing whatever he’s doing, I guess.” Christine echoed John’s vague answer; she’d actually forgotten about Eddy’s existence.

“Sounds like a love story for the ages!” John joked as he took a swig of his beer.

Christine reached over their drinks to playfully punch John’s arm. “Button it, you!”

“Mick reckons you’re seeing someone else seriously, he says you’re glowing.” John pointed out. “Same with Stevie when she’s not in one of her moods.”

“Is that right.” Christine mumbled.

“So, who’s the unlucky man, then?”

Christine tapped her nails against her glass as she pondered telling John the truth. She trusted him to keep the secret to himself and handle the news maturely unlike Mick and Lindsey, who were bound to kick a fuss and start drama.

“If I tell you, you have to promise me you won’t breathe a word to Mick and Linds. It’s kind of…delicate.”

John nodded. “Okay.”

Their food arrived but they both ignored it as Christine tried to find the words to express her decade long ‘situation’ with Stevie.

“You’re gonna be shocked.” Christine warned.

John reached out to hold Christine’s hand and she felt instantly safe and at ease. “Darling, I’ve known you for nearly twenty years, nothing you say can shock me.”

Christine took a deep breath. “It’s Stevie.”

John blinked. “Stevie? As in our Stevie?”

“Yes as in our Stevie.” Christine repeated patiently.

“Wait, _what?_ ” John exclaimed. “Since when?”

Christine picked up her fork and told her story while she ate. She started with her and Stevie’s first kiss during the _Fleetwood Mac_ tour to their brief yet intense affair in Sausalito. She told him about their drunken tryst when they were both sad and lonely while they toured the world for _Tusk_ and how they recently reconnected when Stevie returned to record _Tango in the Night._ She spoke about their relationship honestly and unapologetically while John listened open mouthed.

“So this has been going on for some time, then?” John asked when Christine had finished.

Christine nodded. “Mostly in Sausalito but yes, we’ve always felt like more than friends.”

John sat back in his seat and stared at Christine as he processed the information. She was pleased to see he didn’t look angry or disgusted, just confused.

“You told me you’ve had flings with women so this doesn’t surprise me in that sense. But with _Stevie_? You’ve always said she’s like your little sister.”

Christine sighed. “She is in a way, that’s one of the myriad of reasons why it’s so complicated and fucked up.”

John shook his head vehemently. “I don’t think its fucked up. It’s probably normal to feel confused about someone you’ve known for years and always looked out for. What does she think?”

“I don’t really know; we haven’t spoken about it. It sort of just happens and we agree to end it and then the cycle begins again.”

“So do you want to end that cycle once and for all and be in a proper relationship with her?”

Christine pushed the remainder of her chicken around her plate. “I do. Everyday I want to ask her to be my girlfriend but I don’t want to hurt Lindsey and I’m scared of what the public would say. I don’t think I can deal with the backlash.”

“Fuck the public, who cares what they think. As for Lindsey…he’ll be upset but eventually he’ll realise Stevie’s better off with a woman who has always cared about her than some shitty bloke.” John paused. “Stevie’s a lot to take on, though. You’re a tough woman but she has problems with alcohol and God knows what else.”

“I put up with that once before, didn’t I?” Christine said pointedly.

“Yes, but you shouldn’t have to put up with it again.”

Christine considered John’s words. Stevie’s recovery remained shaky and unstable. Alcohol came and went depending on her anxiety and Christine was wary of the ‘medicine’ she took. Something told her those pills spelled a bad outcome so watching Stevie take them made her feel uncomfortable and slightly sick inside.

“I just want you to be happy, Chrissy.” John declared emphatically. “Stevie’s a brilliant girl but there’s a lot of baggage there, just think about it.”

* * *

Christine was about to drift off to sleep when she felt Stevie crawl into bed and snuggle against her back. She let out a soft moan when Stevie kissed her bare shoulder and turned around in her arms, trying to make out her face in the dark.

“Sorry, I thought you were sleeping.” Stevie said.

“That’s okay. How was your night?” Christine asked.

“It was good, better if you were there, though.”

Christine laughed then sighed contentedly as Stevie held her tighter.

“I love you.” She murmured.

Stevie kissed the top of her head. “I love you too.”

Christine smiled and burrowed her face in Stevie’s chest. Being with her felt right, and Christine realised then and there that she didn’t need to think; she had already made her decision.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit

Christine had a plan all figured out, she just needed to set it in motion. She arranged for Lori and Sharon to take Stevie out while she spent the evening organising the perfect date for her perfect girl. She cooked up an elaborate dinner filled with Stevie’s favourites and painstakingly decorated her back gazebo with fairy lights and candles. It was a magical backdrop to finally ask the woman who had stolen her heart to be her girlfriend.

She quickly checked over her appearance while she waited for Stevie to arrive. She chose a sleek, simple off the shoulder black dress paired with stilettos and sparkling chandelier earrings. Underneath she wore a lacy strapless bra and pantie set she hoped Stevie would see later, providing she said yes to her ‘big question’. Christine had little doubt in her mind, but Stevie was unpredictable, it wouldn’t surprise her if she’d completely misinterpreted the signs and the younger blonde only wanted their usual fling.

Riddled with nerves she jumped at the sound of Stevie’s car pulling up in the driveway. Before Stevie could let herself in, Christine opened the door and watched in satisfaction when Stevie’s jaw dropped as she took in her dolled up look.

“Wow, babe, you look incredible!” Stevie gushed. “What’s the occasion?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” Christine answered mysteriously as she pulled Stevie inside.

She led the way to the back garden and Stevie beamed when she saw the sparkling gazebo and spread set up before her. She eagerly sat down while Christine served up the food and poured her a glass of sparkling water, seemingly disinterested in the complete absence of alcohol.

“This all tastes amazing,” Stevie said through a mouthful of mashed potato. “I can’t believe you did this.”

Christine playfully raised an eyebrow. “Are you doubting my cooking skills?”

“Never! This is just the most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me.”

Christine felt a pang of sadness at her admission. It was strange that despite Stevie’s countless boyfriends and entanglements, she had never really experienced an old fashioned, romantic date.

She waited until they were half way through dessert before broaching the long awaited subject. Christine felt nervous again and briefly flirted with the idea of running into the house to chug down a bottle of wine for courage. But before she could do anything impulsive, Stevie seemed to sense her trepidation and looked at her expectantly while she finished her tiramisu.

“What is it, Chris?”

Christine anxiously fiddled with her ring and bit her lip; the speech she had practiced was quickly flying out of her mind.

“Well, um, I know we’ve been er…more than friends I suppose over the past month or so, and I, um…” Christine trailed off awkwardly; she’d never spoken so inarticulately in her life.

Stevie continued to gaze at her encouragingly and her warmth spurred Christine on.

“I was wondering if you wanted to officially be my girlfriend?” She asked in a rush.

Stevie frowned and Christine’s heart sank.

“I thought I already was your girlfriend?” She said confusedly.

Christine visibly relaxed and laughed at Stevie’s puzzlement. She’d forgotten Stevie had a tendency of sliding into relationships without being asked to, thus was the eccentric and non-conventional world she had built for herself. Christine, on the other hand, preferred her relationships to be properly defined and recognised for what they were.

“I mean, I’ve practically moved in and you know I love you.” Stevie continued, oblivious to Christine’s quiet laughter. “Aren’t we in a relationship already? Have I missed something?”

“No you haven’t, darling.” Christine said, wiping away tears from her eyes. “I just thought I’d ask you properly so you knew what I wanted.”

“Oh. Well then, of course I would love to be your girlfriend!” Stevie exclaimed and reached over to kiss her.

Christine smiled into the kiss while her heart jumped for joy. She was ecstatic Stevie wanted the same thing as her. Years of going back and forth and running away had finally lead up to what they both truly desired.

* * *

Stevie tried to help Christine clean up but it was clear they weren’t going to make much progress. She had Christine pushed up against the kitchen counter while she nibbled on her neck, her hands squeezing her taunt ass.

“Mmm I love it when you dress up like this for me.” Stevie murmured as she ran her tongue along Christine’s earlobe. “You are so fucking sexy.”

She slapped her ass and Christine moaned, getting hotter by the minute.

“Bedroom,” She whispered, her hands creeping up Stevie’s blouse to caress her lower back.

They stumbled upstairs into Christine’s room, frantically tearing off each other’s clothes until they were breathing heavily in their bra and panties. Christine slowed down the pace and cupped Stevie’s face in her hands, kissing her passionately while she gently lowered her onto the bed. She ran her hand down Stevie’s side and grasped her thigh, hooking it over her hip as she kissed down her body until her mouth met the cleft of her cleavage. Stevie gasped as Christine slowly licked a path over the curves of her breasts before reaching around to unhook the clasp of her bra. She eased the straps down Stevie’s arms and tossed the fabric aside, all the while gazing at the sight beneath her.

Christine teasingly swirled her tongue around Stevie’s left nipple, deliberately avoiding the tip, as she knew it drove her crazy. Stevie arched her back and Christine smirked, giving in to her need as she sucked hard on the nipple while her right hand toyed with the other. As she licked and massaged her breasts she gyrated her hips suggestively until she could feel Stevie’s wetness soak through her underwear. Stevie locked her legs around her waist and Christine let go of her breast to slip her hand into Stevie’s thong, rubbing her clit in lazy circles.

“Fuck, Christine, I’m so ready for you.” Stevie gasped, pushing Christine’s panties down with her feet.

Christine grinned and eased her own panties off without breaking eye contact with Stevie. She bent down to place a series of soft kisses along Stevie’s stomach before removing her panties off with her teeth, her body tingling with pleasure. Stevie kicked them off and reached up to undo Christine’s bra, massaging her breasts until Christine couldn’t wait any longer. She pushed Stevie down and positioned herself in between her thighs so their intimate areas were touching. Stevie thrust her hips upward and Christine bit her lip, gazing down at her beautiful girlfriend as she began moving slowly.

Stevie moaned and wriggled beneath her, causing Christine to increase the pace as the delicious friction took a hold of her. Stevie gripped Christine’s hips so hard she was bound to leave marks, but the thought only turned Christine on even more and she ran her hands up and down her breasts in delight.

“Mmm, Chris, come here, I want to suck on your tits.” Stevie said huskily.

She leaned down and Stevie eagerly captured her nipple in her mouth, sucking on it frantically. Christine moaned and reached between their fused bodies to rub her clit and Stevie’s, alternating between the two. She moved her lower body furiously until Stevie arched her back and screamed Christine’s name as an exquisite orgasm ripped through her. The feel of Stevie’s core clenching against her pushed Christine over the edge into her own intense release that she milked as long as she could before falling into Stevie’s waiting arms.

They lay in a comfortable silence while their breathing slowed down. Christine rolled over onto her side and nestled Stevie against her, stroking her tangled hair while Stevie sensually kissed her neck.

“If you keep doing that Ms. Nicks we’re going to end up right where we started.” Christine murmured, her body quickly responding to each heated kiss.

Stevie chuckled as she slid further down. “I’m more than fine with that.”

Christine let out a breathy laugh that swiftly turned into a moan as Stevie gently licked over her still sensitive core. She sucked on her clit and entered her with one finger, moving languidly until Christine begged for more. She added another and stroked her g spot in an erotic rhythm that had Christine chasing an orgasm for the second time, her whole body shaking with heightened pleasure when she came. Satisfied, Stevie removed her fingers and moved up Christine’s body so she was lying in her arms once again.

Christine grabbed Stevie’s hand and playfully licked her release off her fingers while Stevie giggled.

“I love hearing you giggle, you’re so beautiful.” Christine said, wrapping her arms around her.

“Thank you.” Stevie replied, lifting her head to give Christine the most breathtaking smile. “And I love you.”

* * *

They luxuriated in the bathtub a little while later, quietly enjoying each other’s company. Stevie sat in between Christine’s legs and hummed pleasurably while Christine lazily dragged a soapy loofa sponge across her collarbone.

“I can’t believe we’ve finally gotten to this moment.” Stevie sighed.

“I know, who would have thought, huh?”

Stevie laughed and settled further against her in the warm water. Christine caressed her cheekbone before gently tilting her chin, pouring every bit of love and affection she had into a sweet yet searing kiss.


	11. Chapter 11

_Three Months Later_

Since starting a relationship with Stevie, Christine was slowly learning that despite knowing someone for twelve years, there were still many quirks and personality traits left to discover. In the past three months, she had picked up nuances to Stevie ranging from the adorable way she could never quite finish a cup of tea to her sense of compassion and kindness that knew no bounds. When Christine caught a small cold over Christmas, Stevie fussed about her like an anxious mother, fluffing her pillows and making endless cups of lemon and ginger tea. It was a different side to Stevie she had never seen before and she adored her even more for it.

They loved each other intensely and ferociously; and Christine didn’t want anybody else. She called Eddy to end whatever flimsy thing they had between them and she didn’t feel the slightest bit guilty. When he flippantly remarked, _“I was fucking other people, anyway. But you were the most famous one so I stayed.”_ Christine’s only regret was not dumping him sooner. The best part of the ‘breakup’ was Stevie’s indignation at Eddy’s words; Christine had to practically restrain her from grabbing the receiver and screaming expletives down the line. Her protectiveness was a huge turn on and they made love zealously afterwards.

However their relationship was not without its flaws. They were both strong willed, fiercely independent women who were used to things a certain way and had to quickly adapt to their differences. Stevie was a night owl who wrote poetry until 5am while Christine preferred to sleep at a decent hour. Christine liked solitude whereas Stevie on a good day sought the company of other people. They generally worked around their personality extremes well, but there were other difficulties that proved harder to deal with.

Stevie’s medication was a reoccurring point of contention and Christine remained adamant the pills would eventually do more harm than good. She didn’t trust Stevie’s doctor and was shocked when he agreed to increase her dosage.

“It’s going to reduce my anxiety.” Stevie explained nonchalantly. “We’re about to release an album and I need to focus. I’m actually doing everyone a favour.”

Christine didn’t see it that way. “I think there are healthier ways to manage your anxiety than taking more bloody drugs.”

Stevie turned away from her and Christine knew she said the wrong thing. “I still get cravings, Chris. My medicine controls the impulse along with my other issues, you don’t understand.”

Christine cupped Stevie’s cheek and she reluctantly faced her. “So help me to.”

But Stevie only shook her head and refused to say anything else.

* * *

When Christine wasn’t worrying about Stevie her mind was on John. As much as she tried to distance herself from his issues, she still cared for him deeply and wanted to see him healthy and addiction free. While he had freshened himself up for the upcoming release of their album and all the media attention that came with it, Christine knew him well enough to know he struggling. John appreciated Christine’s concern but refused her help, it would probably take a near death experience for her ex to open his eyes and his stubbornness frustrated her to no end.

The band as a whole were stressed and anxious, so inevitably, the press sensed the tension from a mile away. Hungry for salacious stories they targeted the band members individually, resulting in unflattering quotes about each other that added to the already edgy atmosphere. Lindsey and Stevie were the most vulnerable, their tumultuous relationship had always been heavily publicised and the fans loved the gossip. When Lindsey was asked about Stevie’s presentation post rehab he described her as being ‘one of the most beautiful girls’ but when she joined them to record she ‘looked like shit’. Stevie was hurt and furious despite Lindsey insisting he was misquoted; she refused to sit next to him at a subsequent press conference and took her anger out on Christine.

They drove back home in a stony silence while Christine tried to figure out what she had done wrong. Before she could even put the car in park, Stevie stormed out and slammed the door behind her. Christine followed her inside and sat on a barstool in the kitchen, watching the fuming blonde rummage around the fridge for a bottle of wine.

“You’re not going to find what you’re looking for, I finished it.”

Stevie swore under her breath and closed the fridge door with more force than necessary.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

Stevie glared accusingly at her. “You have no idea, honestly?”

“No idea.”

“After the conference I was trying to talk to you, but you were too busy paying attention to some stupid joke Mick made or something.”

Christine couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Stevie’s pettiness. “You started telling me something but I couldn’t hear you because I was laughing out loud-“

“That’s right, I was having a serious conversation with you-“

“You started talking as I was laughing so I asked, ‘Sorry, what did you say?’ but you said ‘Don’t worry about it!’ Then you put your headphones on and didn’t speak to me after that.”

“Actually, I didn’t snap at you like that. I never yell at you like a psycho.” Stevie said hotly.

“What do you call this then?” Christine shot back. “Stevie, is this row really about me supposedly ignoring you or Lindsey publically commenting on your looks?”

Stevie flinched and Christine knew she had her.

“The press twist things to suit their agenda.” She pointed out. “Plus he said similar things about Mick and John. I know it feels personal because of your history but it’s not always about you.”

“You don’t know how it feels, John has never talked shit about you in public.” Stevie mumbled.

Christine sighed. “All our issues happened behind closed doors, yes. But it doesn’t mean it was any less harder.”

Stevie quickly wiped a tear from her eye and stared at the floor. “I’m angry his words still have an affect on me.”

“I understand, gorgeous. It’s hard to stop caring but look at all the good things you have in your life right now.” Christine cheekily arched her back and flounced her hair to lighten the mood.

Stevie snorted good-naturedly and walked around the kitchen bench to sit on Christine’s lap.

“You deserve the world, baby. I’m sorry I’m such a bitch, sometimes.” Stevie said into Christine’s neck.

Christine stroked Stevie’s hair lovingly. “We all have our moments. Brace yourself for my scheduled breakdown on Thursday.”

Stevie chuckled and pulled back to gaze at her with a wondrous look on her face. “I’m so lucky to have you. Before I dated you I used to never say sorry in relationships. What are you doing to me?”

“It’s obviously my magic, darling.” Christine joked, giving Stevie’s waist a gentle squeeze.

Stevie smiled and kissed her sweetly, the day’s stress and drama momentarily forgotten.

* * *

Christine held Stevie while she slept, her gentle snores filling their bedroom. While she snuggled her, Christine reflected on the day’s tumultuous events and Stevie’s remarkable self-awareness and insight into her past mistakes. She was glad their relationship was bringing out the best in her and hoped her progress was here to stay. If it weren’t for her worrying substance issues, things would be close to perfect.

She had fallen asleep still curled around her girlfriend when the phone jarred her awake. She groaned and rolled towards the bedside table, while Stevie remained motionless; the girl could sleep through anything. 

“Hello?” She answered groggily.

“Christine.” Came Mick’s anguished voice from the other end. “Its John, he had a seizure. Chris, you have to come. Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge disclaimer! I apologise in advance if what I discuss in this chapter is medically inaccurate, I did a bit of research and worked with what I understood.

Christine and Stevie raced to Cedars-Sinai in such a state of disarray it would have been amusing if the circumstances weren’t so awful. They threw themselves into Stevie’s car in their pyjamas, found the closest park that was probably illegal, then hurtled through the hospital until they found the room Mick had provided directions to over the phone.

“Oh brilliant, I’m so glad you two are here!” Mick exclaimed as he enveloped the women in a big hug.

Christine rubbed his back and glanced at Lindsey over his shoulder; he looked pale and terrified but relieved to see Christine and Stevie.

“How is he? What exactly happened?” Christine asked, her eyes darting between Mick and Lindsey anxiously.

“He was unconscious but had seizures one after another,” Mick paused to take a shaky breath. “That’s how Julie described it. She couldn’t tell when one stopped before the other one started.”

Christine felt her body go numb with shock. “Those are really dangerous, he can get brain damage.”

Mick nodded. Next to her, Stevie whimpered and slipped her hand in Christine’s, holding on fast.

“The doctors said he’s stable and responsive. There aren’t any immediate signs of long term damage but they’re keeping him here for more tests.” Mick explained. “It’s a miracle, really.”

Christine exhaled at the tentatively good news and squeezed Stevie’s trembling hand. “The bastard never listens. I _knew_ something like this would happen.”

Mick rubbed his hand over his face exhaustedly. “Yeah well, maybe it will take nearly carking it for him to finally get his fucking act together. Not that I can talk.”

“I was going to say,” Lindsey said, eyeing him wearily.

The door opened and Julie entered the hallway, her eyes immediately zeroing in on Christine.

“Oh, you’re here, are you?” She observed tersely, looking at her up and down.

“Of course she is!” Stevie snapped. “Got a problem with that?”

“Don’t worry about it, Stevie.” Christine murmured. “Can we see him?”

“Yes, he wants to see all of you.” Julie directed her answer at the men. “I suggest not all going in at once.”

“Sure,” Mick agreed. “Lindsey and I will go in now and then Stevie and Chris.”

Julie said her goodbyes to Mick and Lindsey before they stepped into the room. Not wanting to be around Christine, Julie immediately strode down the hallway without giving either girl a second glance.

“Fucking bitch.” Stevie spat, glaring daggers at Julie’s retreating form. “Why is she still so rude to you? You and John have been divorced for what? Ten years now?”

“Eleven, actually.” Christine corrected her dryly. “I just ignore her, I don’t really care about what she thinks.”

Stevie turned to her with a tender look on her face. “You’re a better person than I am, babe. I would have pulled her hair out by now.”

Christine shrugged. “Drunk _Tusk_ tour Chris wanted to but she realised that her replacement was not worth the energy and a possible restraining order.”

Stevie rested her head on Christine’s shoulder while they waited for their turn. Eventually, The door opened and Mick and Lindsey filed out, their demeanours substantially more relaxed than before. Christine and Stevie stood up and looked at them expectantly.

“He’s knackered but happy to talk to us.” Mick said.

“Great. Stevie, can I have some time alone with him?” Christine touched her arm lightly.

Stevie nodded understandingly. “Of course. I’ll go get you a coffee.”

“Thanks love.”

Christine peered her head into John’s room and saw him lying on the bed with his face turned towards her. She appeared in full view and closed the door, her feet rooted to the ground as she stared at him with a mixture of relief and anger.

John grinned at her tiredly. “Nice outfit.”

“You too.” Christine’s voice cracked in the middle of her cheeky response as she rushed to his bedside to give him a gentle hug.

“Careful, Chrissy, I’m damaged goods, you know!” He warned jokingly, but held on to her all the same.

“All your bloody doing.” Christine muttered. “You’re a fucking idiot. Is this enough of a wake up call for you now?”

John nodded. “Trust me, it actually is. I’m so sorry for scaring the whole lot of you. I never want to experience what I went through tonight ever again.”

He spoke in a monotone voice but his fearful eyes betrayed him. Christine held his hand and gazed at him imploringly, he was a huge part of her life and she didn’t know what she would do without him. She wanted John to change her ways with every fibre of her being but knew he was less likely to do so if she ranted and raved like a pushy mother.

“I promise, Chris.” John said humbly, reading her mind like only an old love could.

Christine smiled tearfully and lay down beside him, not caring one bit whether Julie barged in and saw them in such a vulnerable position.

“Are you and your girlfriend wearing matching pyjamas?”

“Fuck off! Can you imagine Stevie and I wearing similar clothes? Not a chance.”

John chuckled. “You walking in here wearing a top hat and a chiffon dress would have killed me for sure.”

“Yeah, forget the seizures.” Christine laughed. “I’ll just leave the lace and corsets to my girl.”

“I’m happy you’re happy. Stevie thinks the world of you and has told me such.”

Christine gave him a small smile; John had been a huge support to them both over the past few months.

“When are you going to tell Lindsey and Mick?” John asked her softly.

Christine sighed. “Probably soon, but we don’t want our relationship to be used by the label as a part of some sick PR campaign to get more attention for _Tango.”_

“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.” John stated emphatically.

Christine shook her head firmly. “Please don’t worry about that now, Johnny. Just work on getting better. That’s all I want from you.”

* * *

Christine woke up to find Stevie’s side of the bed empty. Disorientated, she glanced at the alarm clock and read the time; it was 11:28am, which meant Christine slept for 5 hours but it felt like she’d barely slept one. Regardless, they left the hospital in positive spirits, giving Mick and Lindsey a hug with an agreement that they’d check in on John again while he stayed to complete more tests. Christine was happy they could put aside their differences and come together for him.

Stevie claimed she was too wired to sleep and spent the remainder of the night taking self-portraits in one of the spare rooms. Usually when her insomnia ended, Stevie would turn in at around 11am, so it was strange for Christine to wake up alone. She made the bed, pulled on a sweatshirt and went to search for her girlfriend.

The enticing smell of pancakes wafted upstairs. Christine made her way to the kitchen where she was greeted by the most precious sight she had ever seen. Stevie stood by the stove wearing an open silk lilac robe revealing a white bra and pantie set Christine had never seen before. Her long blonde hair was swept into a messy bun and one elegant hand was propped on her hip as she turned over a piece of sizzling bacon with a spatula; an adorable look of uttermost concentration on her face.

“Something looks delicious and I’m not talking about that bacon.” Christine murmured, sidling alongside her and placing a lingering kiss on her cheek.

Stevie blushed and Christine noticed a smear of flour on her other cheek. Christine made no attempt to wipe it off; she looked too cute.

“I made a pot of coffee and the pancakes are still warm if you want to start eating.” Stevie nodded to a plateful of pancakes in varying shapes and sizes, some of them were slightly burnt. “I wanted to try to make an English breakfast, but I knew I’d just embarrass myself.”

“Abstract pancakes are perfect. Thank you, baby.” Christine said; she lightly brushed her fingers across Stevie’s exposed stomach before pouring two cups of coffee and handing one to Stevie.

She sat at the counter top, sipping on her drink while she watched Stevie finish her project. She looked peaceful and angelic; Christine wanted that version of Stevie to be the one she woke up to every morning. After what happened to John, she couldn't bear the thought of her girlfriend suffering in the emergency room because she overdosed on pills or collapsed from its long-term affects. She wanted Stevie to be healthy and full of life, humming around the kitchen while she clumsily made breakfast, with streaks of flour painted across her rosy cheeks.


	13. Chapter 13

John stayed in hospital for three days, returning just in time to record the music video for _Big Love_ , the first single off their album _._ He looked healthier than Christine had seen him in years and seemed to be sticking to his promise to stay sober. With John in good form, Christine was able to shift her focus back into work. _Big Love_ was a huge success and set the stage for what was to be a stellar reception for _Tango in the Night_. They rode the natural high that came with a hit single but as always, not everyone was happy.

Stevie was bitter over _Seven Wonders_ failing to be the first release despite campaigning long and hard for it. She made her grievances known to an unmoved Lindsey who essentially said ‘I produced this album; therefore I decide what is released first’. Tension rose between the two once again, and Stevie sulked around the music video set with a glass of wine in hand, making the experience awkward for everyone.

In an attempt to lift Stevie’s spirits, Christine took her out to buy a dog. The couple ended up with two gorgeous lhasa apsos they named Rosie and Layla; and together, the four of them made an eccentrically adorable little family. Christine’s heart felt full and she was sick of hiding her relationship from Mick and Lindsey. She wanted to love her beautiful partner and co ‘dog mum’ openly and honestly without feeling guilty or ashamed, so she was relieved when Stevie expressed the same thoughts.

“Yeah, let’s get it over and done with. I mean, it should be glaringly obvious by now but they’re either clueless or in denial”. Stevie said while they sat in the backyard watching their babies play fight over a chew toy.

Christine kissed her firmly. “I love you. If they have a shitty reaction it doesn’t change the way I feel about you.”

Stevie kissed her back and giggled when Rosie bounded into her lap, not wanting to miss out on the affection. “If they act like assholes we’ll break their legs or break our contracts, whatever comes first.”

* * *

Feeling extremely nervous, Christine invited the boys over the next day. Every possible outcome from the ‘Big Reveal’ raced through her mind and she tried reminding herself there was no point stressing over something she couldn’t control. Stevie, despite all her conviction and threats of physical violence, was on edge too.

She put on a brave face, but jumped every time a car slowed down in front of their house, her eyes darting to the door like a frightened deer.

John arrived first and tried to reassure them in his quiet way that everything will be all right and Mick and Lindsey will get over it eventually. Christine and Stevie were fondly watching him scratch the back of Layla’s ears when the doorbell rang. 

Flustered, Christine tripped over the yapping dogs as she made her way to the door. Stevie promptly went into the kitchen to pour herself a large glass of brandy.

“Hi, Mick, Lindsey.” She greeted the pair in a high-pitched voice that didn’t sound like her own.

“Hello, darling girl.” Mick grinned, bending down to kiss her on the cheek.

Lindsey gave her a hug and knelt to pat Rosie and Layla who were sniffing his shoes curiously. Christine was pleased to see he appeared to be in a good mood.

“Stevie’s?” He asked, nodding at the dogs.

“Um, no, they’re both of ours.” Christine said. “Can I get you lads a drink?”

“Oh, no thanks. I’m trying to follow Johnny’s footsteps and get back on the straight and narrow.” Mick announced sombrely.

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yes, he’s an inspiration to us all-Hi, Stevie!” Mick’s eyes brightened when Stevie walked into the room. “You’re looking a bit pale, love. Not feeling well?”

Stevie mumbled something incoherently and took a swig of her drink.

“So what’s this about?” Lindsey asked as he took a seat on one of the sofas. “I have somewhere to be in an hour.”

“That’s fine, we won’t take long.” Christine sat next to Stevie and took her glass, taking a small sip before placing it on the side table and away from Stevie’s reach. “Stevie and I need to talk to you about something.”

Mick and Lindsey looked at them curiously and Stevie took a deep breath.

“So you all know I’ve been living with Christine for a while now.” Stevie began.

“Yes, some naff about not finding your ‘dream forever home’ and wanting to stay somewhere sane.” Mick recollected as he scooped Rosie up and placed her on his lap.

“Right. Well, I wasn’t being entirely truthful. Christine’s house is beautiful and safe but there’s another reason I’ve been living here…a significant reason.”

Christine watched Lindsey’s eyes travel back and forth between them and she knew the penny had dropped for him.

Stevie took her hand and Christine held on tight, giving her the strength she needed.

“Chris and I are together. We’re a couple.”

“What?” Mick yelped at the same time Lindsey muttered, “I fucking knew it.”

Christine decided to take over. “We’ve been together since December, but I’ve been in love with Stevie for years and she’s felt the same way towards me. So we decided to finally make a proper go of it.”

“But you guys barely saw each other after _Mirage_ finished.” Lindsey challenged.

Stevie stared at him defiantly. “That doesn’t mean we stopped caring. A concept I know you don’t under-“

“I’m sorry, you’ve both been gay or bisexual or whatever all this time?” Mick interrupted, his eyes were like saucers. “Chris, I’ve always had an inkling you had a thing for women but Stevie?!”

“Christine’s the only woman I’ve been with and I haven’t given it much thought. That’s not the point though,” Stevie said impatiently. “The point is, we love each other very much and want you to accept that.”

“John, did you know about this?” Lindsey shot him a sideways glance.

John nodded. “Yes, Chris told me last year. It’s no issue to me and it shouldn’t be to either of you. They’re in a loving relationship and are rapt with each other, I’m 100% behind them.”

Mick smirked at Stevie. “First Lindsey, then me, now Christine. You sure do get around, don’t you Stephanie?”

“Do _not_ speak to my girlfriend like that.” Christine warned.

“Whatever. Enjoy things with Ms. Rolling Stone while it lasts.” Mick said dryly.

“Go fuck yourself.” Stevie spat.

“I always had a feeling,” Lindsey stated, his gaze set firmly on Stevie. “Starting from the way you danced with Chris during our last night in Sausalito…at first I thought it was the Quaaludes fucking with my mind but I couldn’t shake the images. Plus you despised all of Christine’s boyfriends and I always found your reactions strange. It all makes sense now.”

“Like Christine said, this didn’t come out of nowhere.” Stevie said softly.

“We can’t force you to understand us but we’re not going to apologise for our relationship either.” Christine said firmly. “Oh, and we won’t tolerate the Fleetwood Mac brand capitalising from us. If we get a whiff of a disgusting PR stunt we’re out.”

Mick snorted. “You know it’s not that easy to ‘get out’ but don’t worry, I think the music speaks for itself. We don’t need to promote our relationships.” 

“And the fans?” Lindsey raised his eyebrow.

“I’ve always been private so that doesn’t change.” Christine replied.

“So are we all on the same page?” Stevie asked anxiously.

Mick shrugged. “Its no hair off my back, personally. As long as you don’t fuck up our album sales and tour, I’m happy.”

Christine rolled her eyes and turned to Lindsey. “Linds?”

Lindsey sighed. “I don’t have any intentions of exploiting your relationship, I think we’ve all been through enough scrutiny as it is. But, Chris…” He looked at her sadly. “We’ve always been friends, I wish you told me earlier.”

“I know, and I’m sorry for going behind your back and lying by omission. But our relationship has been a lot to comprehend in a short amount of time and I had to focus on Stevie and I first.”

“I get that…but I’m going to need a bit of time. I’m not angry, just...yeah…” He trailed off awkwardly.

“I should have realised when you bought dogs together.” Mick said lightly as he reached for Stevie’s brandy and took a hearty gulp.

* * *

The newly out couple received a phone call from Lindsey two days later. Christine answered the kitchen extension while she prepared lunch for Rosie and Layla, who were nipping excitedly at her heels.

“ _Easy_ , ladies.” Christine reprimanded them as she reached for the phone. “Christine speaking.”

“Hey, Chris, its Lindsey, how are you doing?”

“I’m well, just making the baby girls their lunch.” She balanced the bowls in one hand and walked outside with the dogs hot on her tail. “How are you?”

“Good. Stevie finished her phone interview?”

“Yes, I think it went well. They didn’t ask much about her past and seemed more interested in our music and her solo work. She looked pleased.”

“That’s great,” Lindsey paused. “I called to say I’ve done some thinking since you and Stevie told us about your relationship. It is going to take a while for me to get used to, but I wish you well.”

“Thanks, Lindsey, that means a lot.”

“Like I once said to you, Chris, you accept Stevie’s flaws and still love her for them. She seems happier with you than she ever was with me and those other guys. I guess my ego and masculinity are a bit bruised, but I’ll get over it.”

Christine watched Layla try to eat out of Rosie’s bowl and gently nudged her back to her own. “It actually takes a great deal of masculinity to admit that. Things are working out for you, Linds. You have a gorgeous girlfriend and about a million women lusting after you, don’t worry.”

“Right,” Lindsey didn’t sound too accepting of the compliments. “Can I speak to Stevie, please?”

“Sure, I think she’s taking a nap but I’ll wake her up.” She went back inside and swiftly ascended the stairs.

Lindsey laughed. “Sounds just like her to fall asleep in the middle of the day. Get used to that.” Christine noticed a trace of wistfulness in his tone.

“I know; our sleeping patterns are so different. Hang on,” She padded across the carpet to their bed and shook the lump under the duvet. “Stevie?”

The lump stirred and a pair of sleepy brown eyes eventually appeared above the sheets.

“What’s wrong?” Stevie yawned.

“Nothing. Lindsey wants to talk to you.” She handed the cordless phone to her.

Stevie stretched and took the phone. “Hi.”

Christine kissed her cheek and left the room, giving the battling exes some privacy to hopefully talk things through in a mature manner.

* * *

“How did it go?” Christine asked Stevie when she came downstairs.

“He wanted to know the detailed timeline of our relationship and whether I ever cheated on him with you.” Stevie said as she put the phone back in its holder. “And if I had feelings for you when he and I were together.”

“What did you say?”

“I told him I was in awe of you when we first met and wanted to be around you all the time.” Stevie smiled shyly. “But it was platonic. I still loved him and wanted to make our relationship work even though it was turning to shit. It was only when we took a break and I hung out with you in Phoenix that something clicked.”

“That’s how I felt, too.” Christine murmured, wrapping her arms around Stevie’s waist.

Stevie gave her a quick kiss. “Anyway, he’s kind of hurt and I feel bad but at least it’s all out in the open now. He thinks I’ve found something special with you.”

Christine blushed. “What did you say to that?”

Stevie cupped her face and gazed at her intensely. “I said you’re the most beautiful, thoughtful and kindest person I’ve ever known and I’m so lucky to have you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat is out of the bag. I hope you all liked how it panned out. I didn’t want to make it an over dramatic scene with people screaming and storming out but I anticipated some hurt and awkwardness. Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you’re all staying safe and healthy during this crazy time. Ava x


	14. Chapter 14

_One Month Later_

“Wake up, baby girl.”

Christine groaned and buried her head under the pillow, trying to ignore the dull throbbing in her head. She felt the pillow being pulled off her and winced at the cold air hitting the back of her neck. Her mouth was dry and she was desperate for water, an aspirin and a big English fry up of tomato, eggs and sausages.

Stevie’s hand crept up her t-shirt and soothingly rubbed her back. Despite her hung over state, Christine couldn’t help but squirm slightly under Stevie’s touch, her skin warming from each slow caress. Sensing her arousal, Stevie wriggled closer and sucked on her earlobe, her delicate foot moving up Christine’s calf. Moaning softly, Christine finally turned to her lover and jumped out of her skin.

“Oh shit!”

“That wasn’t quite the reaction I was hoping for…”

Stevie’s appearance up close was the cause of Christine’s startled reaction. Her dark eye make up ran down her cheeks, giving the normally stunning woman a banshee look and her hair was a bird’s nest of tangled, stiff curls. Christine assumed she didn’t look much better either.

“Sorry love.” Christine said quickly, giving Stevie an apologetic kiss and trying to compose herself.

“Don’t worry, I screamed too when I saw myself in the mirror when I got up to give Lay and Rose their breakfast.” Stevie laughed hoarsely.

Christine sat up slowly and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t even remember getting home last night.”

“That’s when you know you had a good time. It’s been a while, huh?” Stevie said as she crossed her legs next to her.

Christine tried desperately to recall the events from the night before. Mick threw a party to celebrate _Tango In The Night_ debuting at number 7 on the charts and they’d all let loose. Their label predicted the record would rival _Rumours_ in sales and given the shitty recording process and everyone’s unmotivated attitudes, no one expected their album to be as successful as it was. Fleetwood Mac was clearly back in action and Mick was keen to grab every opportunity he could, including a small European press tour for him and Christine to attend in a few days. The party was a small reprieve from their hectic schedule and Christine enthusiastically participated in the festivities in a manner reminiscent of her wild _Tusk_ days.

“Never again.” She grumbled. “I’m too old for this shit.”

“I completely disagree. You stole the show when you danced on Mick’s coffee table.” Stevie said to her proudly.

“I honestly don’t recall that.”

Stevie grinned mischievously. “Call John and ask him, he was the only sober one there after all. He’ll give you a play by play of the night.”

Christine grabbed Stevie’s teddy bear and hid her face in it. “Kill me please.”

Stevie took the teddy away from Christine’s face and kissed her cheek longingly. “No baby, you were so sexy and divine up there with those long legs of yours. I just wanted to grab you and take you home, I was turned on beyond belief.”

To illustrate she kissed Christine long and hard, her hand trailing down her body to cup her breast. Christine moaned into the kiss while Stevie rolled her hardened nipple through the thin fabric of her t-shirt.

“Let’s make up for not leaving the party earlier.” Christine suggested seductively. “Come take a shower with me?”

Stevie beamed and eagerly led Christine to their adjoining ensuite, where they discovered an enjoyable cure to their hangovers under the shower’s warm spray.

* * *

Two days later Stevie was helping Christine pack for Europe, they moved around the room picking up Christine’s odds and ends while a Joni Mitchell record played softly in the background. Rosie and Layla sleepily watched their mummas from the bed and the scene was so cosy and picturesque, Christine wished she didn’t have to go.

“It’s shit you can’t come with me.” Christine said as she folded a pair of white jeans and placed it in her suitcase. “We could have stayed on for a few days, I don’t think we’ve properly explored Sweden before.”

“I know, but I guess I’m needed here to do some interviews with Lindsey, get everyone talking or whatever.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m so sick of milking that non-existent relationship. Mick promised us we wouldn’t be doing that anymore.”

“Well, he respected our wishes and kept our relationship under wraps, that’s the most we can ask from him, unfortunately. You and Lindsey have been getting along better recently, right?”

“I suppose he has been a lot nicer to me.” Stevie plopped down on the bed and stroked Layla’s fur. “I’d much rather be working with you, though.”

Christine gave Stevie a kiss on her forehead and caressed her cheek lightly. “It’s only for 5 days honey, we’ll call each other. You’re awake during the night anyway so time difference is not an issue.”

“True, I’ll be writing. I’ve been talking to my manager and I think I’m ready to start working on a new album. The time feels right.” Stevie smiled.

“That’s brilliant, darling! Use my studio for demos, my piano, anything!” Christine offered enthusiastically.

“I’ve been feeling really good lately, Chris.” Stevie bit her lip and looked up at Christine hesitantly. “I actually think I’m ready to stop taking the Klonopin.”

Christine dropped the blouse she was holding; it was the first time Stevie had mentioned her medication by name in a while. “Oh. Are you sure that’s wise?

“Haven’t you been telling me to stop taking it all this time?”

“Yes, but safely and not abruptly. It’s dangerous and God knows what the side effects will be. Please see a doctor before you do anything-a _different_ doctor.” Christine raised her eyebrows pointedly; it was no secret she disliked Stevie’s psychiatrist.

“I’ll be fine, Chris.” Stevie said briskly. “Have a little faith in me, won’t ya?”

“Stevie, I believe in you more than anyone or anything.” Chris replied; hurt Stevie would doubt her confidence in her. “I’m just worried about you doing this on your own. Can’t you wait until I come back? Or at least decrease your dosage first?”

Stevie shook her head. “I need to do this now that I feel ready and willing to, who knows what I’ll be feeling in a week’s time.”

“I really think-“

“Babe.” Stevie’s tone was no nonsense and didn’t leave much room for argument. “It’ll be okay, I promise you.”

* * *

Christine continued to voice her worry and disapproval over Stevie withdrawing without her until she practically boarded her flight. True to Stevie’s style, she changed her mind at the very last minute and agreed to decrease her dosage when Christine returned, instead of ceasing it completely. She made Christine promise to give her the space she needed; a task that would prove difficult but important to adhere to for Stevie’s sanity. Once again, the two headstrong women were learning to compromise and really listen to each other.

The press tour went smoothly and Christine found herself enjoying a bit of alone time to focus on her own plans away from her relationship and the band. She let Mick hold forth and got in touch with her old team in Switzerland and London who were eager to work with her on a new album as soon as she was ready. Feeling inspired and rejuvenated, Christine was looking forward to writing and composing for herself again.

“It’ll have to be when we finish our tour but I’m so excited.” Christine told Stevie over the phone.

“I’m thrilled for you, baby!” Stevie replied happily. “You deserve it.”

“Thanks, gorgeous. How are things with you? How are our girls, today?”

“Girls are going good, still missing their momma like crazy; while these interviews and press junkets are driving _me_ crazy.”

“The same repetitive questions about Betty Ford and who you’re dating?” Christine asked as she fussed down her pillow and tried to get comfortable.

“Not just that…I hate when people assume I’m some fragile, delicate fairy because of how I perform on stage.” Stevie huffed. “After all these years, it still feels like nobody understands me.”

“Honey, we’re all unflatteringly labelled.” Christine said. “I’ve always been known as the ‘other lady in Fleetwood Mac who’s not Stevie Nicks’, it is what it is and I just laugh about it.”

“I’m sure I’m referred to as the ‘other lady in Fleetwood Mac who’s not Christine McVie’ in a lot of circles, too.”

Christine laughed. “You’re hilarious, Stevie. I hope Lindsey’s enjoying your sense of humour during interviews.”

Stevie snorted. “Of course not. He’s actually a lot more tense than usual, acting like he has a stick up his ass.”

“He’s probably just stressed because Mick’s calling every two seconds to boss him around.” Christine said reasonably.

“Whatever.” Stevie replied dismissively. “I can’t wait for you to come home. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, honey.” Christine yawned.

“Shall I let you go?”

“No, keep talking. I want to fall asleep to your voice as silly as that sounds.”

Stevie laughed fondly and continued speaking about her life without her in L.A. Christine smiled and closed her eyes, her girlfriend’s charming voice eventually weaving its way into her dreams.

* * *

Christine dropped her suitcase on the ground while she fumbled to open the front door, swearing under her breath as she struggled to locate the correct key. She was livid with Mick; due to his tardiness, they missed their flight and arrived a day later than anticipated. The only things preventing her from irrationally bursting into tears were the sounds of Layla and Rosie eagerly barking inside and the promise of melting in Stevie’s arms later.

Eventually, she managed to open the door and was greeted by the dogs jumping for joy at the sight of her. Christine bent down to hug them, tears of relief and exhaustion running down her face.

“Hi ladies.” She said as they pawed her happily.

Layla and Rosie quietened down and Christine noticed for the first time the distinct sounds of her Steinway grand piano floating into the hallway. Transfixed, Christine followed the haunting melody into the living room and was startled to see Stevie sitting at the piano, her fingers drifting over the keys while she sang.

_“There is magic all around you…”_

Quietly, Christine sat beside her and Stevie jumped, causing the piano to make a discordant sound that neither of them noticed.

“Christine! I didn’t even hear you!” Stevie exclaimed as threw her arms around her.

Christine buried her face in Stevie’s hair, inhaling the comforting scent of her shampoo. “You’re supposed to be at a photo-shoot.”

“Cancelled, so I spent the morning working on this song.” Stevie explained, idly hitting the keys.

“Let’s hear it.” Christine beamed, drawing Stevie onto her lap and resting her chin on her shoulder.

Stevie turned around in Christine’s arms to give her a kiss before she began playing. Christine bit her lip as Stevie sung softly yet beautifully, feeling indescribably happy to be back home where she belonged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading as always ☺


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologise for any medical inaccuracies in this chapter. I hope you enjoy it regardless.

The couple enjoyed a few days of bliss before Stevie attended her doctor’s appointment. Christine accompanied her nervous girlfriend into the room and immediately took a liking to Dr Renmark. He was informative and direct, and Christine sorely believed his no nonsense approach was needed to help Stevie face some hard facts.

Christine wasn’t surprised to hear Stevie’s psychiatrist completely mismanaged her medication from the get go. According to Dr. Renmark, Stevie should have eased off Klonopin months ago and if she didn’t stop now, she was at a serious risk of developing a long term, possibly fatal addiction. The safest method for Stevie to withdraw was tapering her current dosage until she was off it altogether. Side effects existed but were manageable and worth it in the long run. Christine thought it sounded promising and a quietly terrified Stevie agreed to give it a try. They thanked Dr. Renmark, picked up her smaller dose and headed home.

“Nine weeks, Stevie,” Christine began as she sped home. “You were supposed to stop this bloody thing after nine weeks, but you’ve been taking it for seven months! If I ever set eyes on that psychiatrist, I’m going to kill him.”

“Don’t say things like that, Chris.” Stevie warned. “I wouldn’t have been able to record anything for _Tango_ if it wasn’t for the Klonopin. I’m not saying it was ideal, but I did what I had to do at the time and there’s no going back.”

“You were a fright when you joined us because your body was struggling to adapt to that shit.” Christine countered. “Your appearance, the drinking, the mood swings…I _knew_ something else was going on.”

“Well now my body has to adapt to getting off ‘that shit’ so please don’t start.” Stevie glared at her. “Remember your promise? I don’t need your bossy, know-it-all attitude right now.”

Christine lit up a cigarette and took a long drag. “I don’t mean to be a bitch and I know how hard this is for you, I’m just in a state of shock. I feel like a complete idiot for not comprehending the severity of your situation earlier.”

“How do you think I feel?” Stevie said in a small voice.

Before Christine could rant further, Stevie leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, effectively ending their argument.

* * *

The afternoon brought on further revelations that helped Christine understand Stevie’s dismal return to Fleetwood Mac last year. Stevie’s manager phoned, and told a shocked Christine that Stevie was never professionally recommended Klonopin to begin with. She had exited rehab feeling fit and ready to take on the world, only to be persuaded by some ‘friends’ to try the drug to prevent a cocaine relapse. If she hadn’t accepted the damaging advice, Stevie’s experience during _Tango’s_ recording might have been a lot different. 

Christine knew she couldn’t rewrite history, but logic didn’t stop her from crying in the bathroom while Stevie obliviously played the piano downstairs. Her mind was swimming with ‘what ifs’ as she once again regretted not being a part of Stevie’s life at a time when she needed her. She cried out her irrational guilt before washing her face and accepting the state of events as they were; finding strength in the knowledge that she was here now and Stevie was safe and not alone.

Feeling slightly better she opened the bathroom door and collided with Stevie.

“There you are, I was looking for you.” Stevie’s eyes raked over Christine’s drained appearance and frowned. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Christine said as she tried to hide her puffy face.

Stevie moved closer and swept strands of hair behind her ear. “You’ve been crying, why? Is this because of our fight in the car?”

“Yes and no.” Christine wiped her nose. “I feel like I’ve failed you.”

Stevie’s eyes widened in disbelief and she brought Christine to her. “No, sweet girl, you haven’t. You’re the best person in my life and way more than I deserve. You didn’t know any of this, it’s my fault.”

Christine clung on to her as a fresh wave of tears threatened to spill again. “It doesn’t matter now, we can only focus on the future and getting you healthy and well. Anyway,” She pulled back and lightly caressed Stevie’s chin. “This isn’t about me and I’m supposed to be giving you space, not blubbering all over you. I’m sorry.”

Stevie smiled softly and nuzzled her face into Christine’s palm. “I don’t think I can stay away from you even if I tried.”

* * *

Over the next week, Christine helped Stevie get into a good routine to keep her preoccupied and stable. If Stevie wasn’t working and actively promoting _Tango In The Night_ with the band, she was writing music, painting or exercising. Christine looked out for her in nonintrusive ways; they went out for long walks with Rosie and Layla and cooked nutritious meals together. She was optimistic and hopeful, wanting nothing more than to see Stevie sparkle and thrive.

As Dr. Renmark warned, the tapering wasn’t perfect and Stevie experienced some painful side effects. One night, Christine woke to the bathroom light on and the sound of breathless sobbing emanating from inside. She leapt out of bed and found Stevie sitting on the floor with her knees drawn to her chest, shaking uncontrollably.

“I can’t do this, Chris.” She heaved. “I can’t.”

Christine sat beside her and gently cradled Stevie’s head in her lap. “Count with me, gorgeous. One…two…”

The simple method worked and Stevie’s breathing returned to normal and her heart rate slowed down. Christine stroked her hair and rubbed her back until she was calm enough to be led back to bed.

The nightly panic attacks were frequent and left Stevie shaken and irritable the next day. She did her best to control her moods around Christine, but unleashed her pent up discomfort on a bewildered Lindsey who had been trying really hard to be friendly towards her.

“What did I do now?” Lindsey asked Christine in a hurt voice while Stevie went outside their label’s office to smoke a cigarette. “ _Seven Wonders_ is going to be our next single, I thought she’d be happy?”

“She had a bad night last night so all she wants to do is sleep.” Christine explained. “You saying _Little Lies_ would be more of a hit didn’t help either.

“I stand by what I said.” Lindsey said bluntly. “I hope she sorts herself out before we tour, I don’t want a repeat of last year’s madness. There’s a lot of pressure on me to keep this success going.”

“I know, Lindsey.” Christine sighed exasperatedly, annoyed that as per usual, Lindsey’s problems trumped everyone else’s. “We’re working on it.”

She lay in bed that evening with Stevie sitting next to her, intricately sketching in an art book while Rosie and Layla dozed at her feet.

Christine lifted her head. “What are you drawing?”

Stevie turned her book towards Christine, revealing a beautiful sketch of a fairy sitting on a rock waving a tambourine.

“You’re a woman of many talents, love.” Christine said, settling back down and snuggling underneath the blanket.

“So are you, I kept your drawings from when we hung out in the RV last year. I’m sure I brought them when I moved in.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they reminded me of the good times I had with you amongst the chaos.” Stevie said, smiling at her.

“I’m so touched.” Christine blushed. “They were just mindless doodles on scrap paper.”

“Well, they meant a lot to me.” Stevie put her sketchbook aside and wriggled down next to Christine. “You have to let me sketch or photograph you one day, babe.”

“You have once.”

“I mean properly.” Stevie gazed up at her through her long eyelashes. “Special photos for my eyes only.”

Christine grinned cheekily. “That sounds like fun. I’ll probably be laughing through the whole thing, though. Just warning you.”

Stevie rolled her eyes in mock annoyance and moved closer to Christine so they were nose to nose. Christine gave her a soft peck on the lips before resting her face in the crook of Stevie’s neck. She didn’t wake until morning and was pleased to see Stevie enjoying a deep unbroken sleep, a picture of tranquillity and innocence Christine remembered for years afterwards.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit.

The month passed by in a blur and suddenly it was the morning of Stevie’s birthday. Christine let the birthday girl sleep in until she grew impatient; with her gifts in one hand she crawled over Stevie’s curled up form and gently rolled her so they were face to face.

 _“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”_ Christine sang softly while Stevie roused from her sleep.

Christine pushed Stevie’s hair away from her face and she smiled sleepily, her hands lazily intertwining around Christine’s trim waist.

 _“Happy birthday dear Stevie, happy birthday to you.”_ Christine finished, planting a soft kiss on Stevie’s nose.

“That was probably the most off key rendition of _Happy Birthday_ I’ve ever heard in my entire life.” Stevie commented dryly, patting Christine’s ass. “Are you sure you’re a musician?”

Christine pouted and kissed Stevie on the edge of her mouth. “Ouch. You get a pass for that not very nice comment because it’s your special day.”

“Mmm yes I’m twenty one today, thank you.” Stevie sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Happy birthday, baby.” Christine said; handing her a magical bouquet of red roses dusted with gold glitter and pearls.

“Oh wow, these are stunning!” Stevie exclaimed, her fingertips delicately tracing the luminous petals.

“I’m glad you like them.” Christine smiled; she picked up a thin square box wrapped in silver paper. “This is for you, too.”

“You spoil me, babe.” Stevie gave her a quick kiss and carefully undid the wrapping.

Christine watched her open the box and gasp, gently pulling out a silver necklace. The iridescent opal pendent was ringed with a diamond halo and different to any other necklace Stevie owned. She was constantly gifted moon and star themed jewellery so Christine wanted to buy something different and reminiscent of the girl she first met. Christine fastened it around her neck and kissed the smooth skin of her shoulder, her heart skipping a beat when Stevie smiled at her with a twinkle in her eye.

While she was at the jewellery store she had paused in front of the engagement rings and briefly flirted with the idea of proposing to Stevie. After all her dramatic and failed relationships, she’d found her forever with the rock and roll goddess who was simply her best friend and partner. But realistically, now wasn’t the time, not when Stevie was battling her Klonopin dependency and getting better remained the focus. She watched Stevie admire the intricate necklace on her supple skin, relieved her second choice still hit the mark and wasn’t a downgrade by any means.

“Your third present will be revealed after the party.” Christine told her cryptically. “All I’ll say is don’t exhaust yourself this evening.”

Stevie leaned over and kissed Christine deeply. “What happens if I want it now?”

Christine broke the kiss and nibbled Stevie’s bottom lip teasingly. “You’ll just have to wait, Miss. It’ll be worth it, I promise.”

* * *

Later that evening, Christine sat on the living room sofa with John and Mick on either side of her like mismatched book ends while Stevie’s party went off. The house was practically bursting with Stevie’s myriad of life long friends, including those she met in rehab along with non-industry people picked up over the years. Stevie’s favourite Split Endz album was blasting through the sound system and Christine moved her foot in time to the music, feeling relaxed and at ease despite being surrounded by people she didn’t know particularly well.

“I don’t know 99% of the people here.” John voiced her thoughts out loud, though he looked more awkward than she did. “I wish Lindsey stayed.”

Lindsey had made a brief appearance to wish Stevie happy birthday and also gave her a present. He was warm and pleasant and spoke to the band for a little while before making a subtle exit. No one knew why he didn’t stay but Christine couldn’t bring herself to be concerned about his feelings when tonight was about Stevie.

“More importantly, where are your furry children?” Mick asked, his eyes scanning the party for Layla and Rosie.

“They’re mingling.” Christine replied, taking a long sip of her wine.

Right on cue, Rosie and Layla dashed into the living room. Stevie had tied lacy pink bows around their necks and they were in their element, barking excitedly around the guests.

Layla tried to climb Stevie’s leg and she bent down to stroke her absentmindedly before resuming her conversation with Tom Petty. She was glowing and effervescent, lighting up the room with her big smile and hearty laugh. A stark contrast to the dark moods she’d been sporting here and there over the past month.

John caught Christine gazing at her and chuckled to himself.

Christine glanced at him. “What’s so funny?”

“Chrissy, you’re going to marry her, I’m sure of it.” He said, still smiling.

“What makes you say that?” Christine asked airily.

“Let’s not be coy, you’ve been thinking of popping the question, admit it.”

Mick got up to talk to Lori and Christine waited until he was out of earshot before turning to John. “Well, I actually was thinking about it last week, I was looking at rings.”

“So what’s stopping you?”

Christine hesitated, not wanting to divulge in the less glamorous aspects of their relationship on such a happy night. The panic attacks, the random fits of crying and more scarily, the occasional lapses behind Christine’s back were still prominent. Nothing was ever perfect, but she wanted to take that monumental step when Stevie was truly well and ready.

Stevie caught her staring and winked. Flustered, Christine threw off her sparkly white jacket as her skin heated up; their private after party couldn’t come quick enough.

* * *

The party eventually died down and Christine finally had her girlfriend all to herself. While Stevie shimmied out of her dress and took her makeup off, Christine quickly slipped into the bathroom to get changed, admiring herself in the mirror. She wore a cleavage enhancing sheer red bra paired with a lacy brief that was playfully bare in the back. The strappy suspenders rounded up the sexy look, accentuating her long legs and giving Christine an extra boost of confidence. The outfit was bold and daring and she couldn’t wait to see the look on Stevie’s face when she stepped out.

Stevie was sitting on their bed stripped down to her satin panties when Christine entered their bedroom. She leaned against the door frame in what she hoped was a casually alluring pose and waited for Stevie to notice.

“Holy fuck.” Stevie breathed, her mouth agape in shock.

“Do you like it?” Christine asked in a low voice, biting her bottom lip in the way she knew Stevie loved.

“I love it, come here. Now.” Stevie ordered, her commanding tone sent a shiver down Christine’s spine.

Christine sauntered over and stood in front of Stevie so she could enjoy her present up close.

“I don’t know what I want to touch first.” Stevie said, running her tongue over her lips as her eyes travelled between Christine’s already erect nipples and her barely clothed mound.

Christine smiled and took Stevie’s hands, placing them on her inner thighs. She exhaled sharply when her fingertips danced across her skin, grazing her entrance before grasping her hips.

“Turn around, baby.”

Christine slowly spun around and heard Stevie gasp at the sight of her bare ass. She squeezed it firmly before giving a cheeky slap, the slight pleasurable sting causing Christine to moan.

“I’m torn between wanting to fuck you in this get up and wanting to tear it off you.” She slapped her ass again.

Christine turned around and straddled Stevie’s lap, leaning down to kiss her hotly.

“Well I’ll just leave that up to the birthday girl to decide.” Christine whispered as she slowly rolled her hips against her.

Stevie tilted her head back and moaned; Christine placed a row of open mouth kisses down her neck while her hand brushed across her breasts, the nipples stiffening under her feather light touch.

“You are my sexy minx, I am such a lucky girl.” Stevie kissed the exposed skin of Christine’s breasts and reached around to unhook her bra, sliding it off her with relish.

“No, I’m the lucky one.” Christine moaned while Stevie deftly sucked on her nipple.

She pushed Stevie down and kissed her again, their tongues moving in a sensual dance that left them both breathless and aching. She slid down Stevie’s body and laved her tongue along her pebbled nipple, biting gently on the tip while she pinched and tweaked the other. Stevie speared her fingers in her hair and Christine moved her lips further southward, caressing her inner thighs with her tongue. She hooked her fingers around Stevie’s panties and dragged them down slowly, watching Stevie bite her bottom lip with want. Throwing the fabric behind her, she moved between Stevie’s thighs and teasingly licked at her soaked clit with the tip of her tongue.

“Chris, come here. Fuck me while you sit on my face.” Stevie said huskily, taking her hand.

Christine’s breath hitched with desire, moving up Stevie’s body until her pussy hovered above her face. Stevie placed a heated kiss on her thigh and Christine turned around, spreading Stevie’s wet folds and sucking her clit into her mouth. She felt Stevie move her soaked briefs aside and enter her pussy with her tongue, thrusting against her g-spot while she rolled her clit in lazy circles. They attended to each other passionately, moaning and grinding until they came simultaneously, their bodies quivering from the intensity of their release.

Christine placed a series of soft kisses along Stevie’s pussy before moving off her. Stevie sat up to undo Christine’s suspenders with nimble fingers, quickly removing the rest of her lingerie so Christine was naked with her. Christine cupped Stevie’s face and kissed her lovingly while Stevie trailed her hand down her stomach to slowly massage Christine’s still throbbing pussy.

“Mmm, baby. Are you ready for round two?” Christine shuddered as Stevie languidly spread her wetness over her clit.

“Always.” Stevie grinned saucily, lying back down and pulling Christine to her.

Christine lay on her side and positioned Stevie so they were facing with her right thigh in between Christine’s legs. Christine pressed her thumb against Stevie’s clit and inserted two fingers inside her while she rubbed herself against Stevie’s thigh. Stevie purred in response and Christine moved her hand faster, her own arousal dripping down Stevie’s thigh as the friction on her clit and labia drove her wild.

“Oh baby, I’m going to come again.” Stevie panted, gazing at her through half-lidded eyes.

“Me too.” Christine breathed, enjoying the sensation of Stevie’s nipple brushing her own as their bodies slid up and down.

“Mmm fuck, _ohhh_.” Stevie moaned as she climaxed, squirting her release all over Christine’s fingers and inner thigh.

“Stevie!” Christine shouted as she came directly afterwards, staring at Stevie’s bouncing breasts while she squirmed desperately against her.

They continued to ride out their orgasms until they were both spent and satisfied. Christine removed her hand from Stevie’s soaking core and licked off her sweetness, loving the taste of her. Stevie stroked Christine’s hair and drew her in for a passionate kiss, rolling on top of her and letting go of her lips to nibble at her neck.

Christine held her tight and Stevie rested her face against her shoulder.

“Happy birthday, gorgeous.” Christine whispered into Stevie’s hair. “I love you.”


	17. Chapter 17

As everyone expected, _Seven Wonders_ skyrocketed up the charts upon its release. The press, who for the past year were publishing the same old unflattering articles about Stevie’s cocaine addiction and divorce, suddenly changed their tune overnight. Stevie shined in the music video, but it was all a glamorous façade, the big hair and bombshell makeup successfully hiding what was going on underneath.

On the morning of a photo shoot for _Music Connection_ , Stevie decided to skip her Klonopin dosage and suffered the consequences almost immediately. Christine heard Stevie crying in the bathroom, high pitched breathless sobs akin to a panic attack. She dropped her panty house and ran to the ensuite, finding Stevie hunched over the sink with a bottle of foundation spilled all over the counter.

“Chris, I can’t control my hands.” She sobbed. “I can’t stop shaking.”

She held out her hands and Christine grasped them, feeling them tremble uncontrollably.

“Did you take your medicine?” She asked, trying to keep her voice calm.

Stevie shook her head guiltily and Christine quickly opened the medicine cabinet to retrieve the bottle. She shook out one pill, brought a glass of water from the bedside table and helped Stevie take it.

“Lie down and I’ll call your manager to cancel the shoot.” Christine instructed while she led Stevie to their bed.

“No, I’ll be fine soon.”

“You’re not well, Stevie.” She insisted.

“Christine, I’ll be fine!” Stevie yelled. “Ask them to postpone it for a few hours but we’re _not_ cancelling.”

“Stevie, do you seriously think you can work in this state?”

Stevie’s face bore a guilty look again. “This has happened before and the tremors disappear eventually. Please just listen to me.”

“What do you mean this has happened before?” Christine couldn’t help the panic creep into her voice.

“Tell them we’ll be there in the afternoon. I’ll explain everything after you make the call, please Christine.” Stevie said imploringly.

Christine opened her mouth to interrogate her further but decided against it. She called Stevie’s manager who agreed to postpone the shoot until the afternoon and then cleaned up the spilled foundation in the bathroom. Her mind raced, wondering what else Stevie hid from her. The past two months had been difficult, and as a desperate attempt to run away from her health problems, Stevie secretly saw her old doctor to increase her dosage without Christine’s knowledge. Christine was heartbroken and made Stevie promise she would be honest with her about any more setbacks.

Christine gave the counter a final wipe and re entered the bedroom, blessed with the pure sight of Rosie and Layla cuddled up next to Stevie, their noses gently nuzzling her tear-streaked face.

“Be careful with Mummy.” Christine told them as she lay down beside Stevie and wrapped her arm around her waist.

“They’re such good girls,” Stevie said, gingerly stroking Rosie’s fur with a still trembling hand. “I don’t deserve any of my beautiful girls.”

“What happened, Stevie?” Christine asked her softly.

“I made a mistake.” Stevie sniffled. “The last time I didn’t take my dose was just before I reunited with you guys and I experienced the same tremors. I’m an idiot thinking it wouldn’t happen again. I’m just fucking tired of feeling sick all the time.”

Christine kissed the crown of her head; desperately wishing she could make Stevie’s pain go away. “I know it’s been hard, honey, but you can’t skip your medication while you’re tapering off it. The side effects have been scary but I’m here for you through it, you don’t need to hide anything from me. We’ve spoken about this.”

Stevie gave the dogs one last cuddle before turning around in Christine’s arms, burying her face in her collarbone while she cried.

“Chris, when does this end?” She asked shakily. “It feels worse than kicking coke, I can’t stand it.”

Christine rubbed her back soothingly and tried to think of a tactful, comforting response; eventually realising that being raw and honest might shake some sense into her.

“It only ends when you’re truly committed to the process, Stevie. I can only help you so much, the rest has to come from you.”

* * *

Christine and Stevie attended their photo shoot later that day and ended up having a surprisingly enjoyable time. Stevie, who left the house pale and subdued, lit up at the wardrobe choices offered to her and chatted happily to their hair and makeup team while they got ready. It was almost like that frightening morning never happened and Christine marvelled at Stevie’s ability to pull herself together and get on with things.

It had been a while since the two of them partook in an interview and photo shoot without the boys and Christine liked the magazine’s laidback approach. The journalist’s questions were wholesome and non-intrusive, focusing on an ‘indestructible female friendship’ dynamic where Christine and Stevie spoke about each other in sweet and loving tones that weren’t too dissimilar from their real relationship. Christine enjoyed goofing around with Stevie while they had their photos taken and it was a nice end to what had initially been a horrible day.

To prove she was feeling better Stevie took over dinner before they were due to go to Mick’s for an ‘emergency band meeting’. Christine sat at the counter nursing her glass of wine while she watched her girlfriend methodically prepare a green chicken curry.

“Are you sure you don’t need a hand?” She asked while Stevie dropped some snow peas in the large pot.

“No, I’m alright, thankyou.” Stevie replied, giving it a stir. “You just relax and enjoy your wine.”

“It smells really good.”

Stevie smiled as she finely chopped a red chilli and added it to her creation. “Thanks. Do you know what this meeting’s about?”

“No idea, probably about the tour.”

“Hopefully it’s painless and finishes quickly.” Stevie remarked. “I’m in no mood for Mick and Lindsey’s long speeches about commitment. Despite everything, I’ve been doing my share of the work and turning up to things on time. I hope it’s not about me.”

Christine got up and wrapped her arms around Stevie from behind. “Let’s just enjoy dinner and not worry about the boys until we get there, shall we? Whatever happens, I have your back.”

Stevie nodded and turned around to give Christine a kiss. “You’re amazing, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Likewise.”

* * *

“Your place is amazing, Mick!” Christine exclaimed as she and Stevie entered his new house.

“Cheers, Chris.” Mick grinned, bending down to give Stevie a big hug. “It’s nice to have a proper place again.”

“I can imagine.” Christine said, waving at John who was sitting in the living room. “I’m very happy for you.”

The band chatted for a little while until Lindsey finally made his appearance. He looked moody and miserable, barely acknowledging anyone in the room as he sat down and looked expectantly at Mick. Christine immediately detected the frostiness between them and realised the meeting wasn’t about Stevie after all.

“Okay, so the reason why I wanted to speak to you all is because I’ve noticed some of you have been giving interviews to the press without anyone else’s knowledge.” Mick looked pointedly at Lindsey who merely shrugged.

“What are you saying to people?” Stevie gave Lindsey a suspicious, sideways glance.

“He told a few publications that he never wanted to make this album and he doesn’t want to tour anymore.” Mick replied bitterly. “Now the rest of us look like complete idiots.”

“This isn’t new information.” Lindsey snapped, glaring at Mick. “I’ve been telling all of you for months now that I’m not up for a long tour. Ten weeks is the most I can do, I have other things going on and I want to get back to my solo career. It’s not that hard to understand.”

“We need to put up a united front.” John tried to explain to him. “This record is your baby, Lindsey. You can’t give up before we’ve even started.”

Lindsey scoffed. “Have we ever really been a united front? I only did this record because Mick was pressurising me to and now I want to go back to my real life. How many times do I have to tell you this?”

Everyone fell silent and Christine decided to offer him an olive branch.

“What do you want us to do for you, Linds?” She asked him gently. “The tour is a done deal but how can we help you agree to it?”

“Ten weeks.” He replied firmly. “Ten weeks is the most I’ll tour and that’s my final decision on the matter. I’m fucking done.”

With that, he got up and walked out of Mick’s house, slamming the door and leaving his stunned band mates behind him.

* * *

“Well that went amazingly well.” Christine said sarcastically as she and Stevie drove back home.

Stevie was silent and Christine placed her hand comfortingly on her thigh.

“Do you think he’ll really leave if we don’t agree to his conditions?” Stevie asked her in a small voice, squeezing Christine’s fingers tightly.

Christine tried to read past the blank expression on Stevie’s face. She knew that despite her endless complaints about Lindsey and their long running arguments, Stevie would be heartbroken if he left the band for good.

“I don’t know, honey.” She replied honestly. “I really don’t know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Explicit

With tensions mounting between Lindsey, Mick and Stevie, Christine felt the pressure to keep their album’s success on track. _Little Lies_ was slated as Fleetwood Mac’s next release and Mick scheduled a video shoot to take place on Christine’s birthday. The gesture would have been lovely, if it weren’t for Mick’s constant nagging about ‘putting her best foot forward’ to promote what was predicted to be _Tango’s_ biggest hit.

“Now I really want you to emphasise _Little Lies_ during the interview,” He reminded her the night before her appearance with John on _The Today Show_. “Do you get that, Chris? Really go in depth about how it’s different to anything you’ve produced before and-“

“I KNOW, MICK!” She yelled.

Stevie, meanwhile, was trying to stay motivated to write material for her next album. When she felt inspired, she stayed up all night to create work that was beautiful and prolific. But more often than not, Christine would wake to find the living room floor strewn with ripped up notebook paper and a disgruntled Stevie lying on the sofa close to tears

“I’m a piece of fucking shit, Christine.” She complained one morning while Christine retrieved her abandoned work from the waste paper basket. “My brain’s not working properly and I can’t write anything worth a dime. My career is over.”

“It isn’t, gorgeous. Why don’t you continue working on this after you’ve rested?” She smoothed out the music sheet and handed it to her.

Stevie snatched the paper, balled it up and pelted it against the wall. “I TOLD YOU I CAN’T FUCKING DO IT!”

“That’s fine, Stevie.” Christine replied calmly, leaving the room to let her simmer in peace.

Stevie’s explosive moods weren’t unusual and Christine quickly learned the best way to deal with them was to leave her alone. At her very core Stevie was an independent free spirit who hated feeling smothered or being told what to do. So as frustrating as it was, Christine could only support her as much as she was allowed to and hope it was enough.

* * *

On the morning of her birthday Christine woke to the sensation of Stevie’s breasts grazing her face.

“Mmm, happy birthday to me.” Christine murmured, taking a nipple into her mouth and sucking on it lazily.

She heard Stevie giggle and she bit the nipple playfully, running her hands down her smooth back.

Stevie slid back down so they were at eye level and kissed her softly on the lips. “Happy birthday, my beautiful girl. Let me take care of you.”

Christine grinned and allowed Stevie to remove her oversized t-shirt and underwear. She ran her hand down Christine’s naked body, her thumb circling her stiffening nipple before moving further south to tease her slick folds. She lightly slid her finger along Christine’s slit before bringing it to her lips, gazing at her while she sucked the tip erotically.

“You taste so good, Christine.”

Christine sat up and captured Stevie in a heated kiss, her hands grasping her hips as she tried to encourage Stevie to move her centre against her thigh. Stevie laughed breathily and rocked against her slowly before moving away to produce their vibrator from the bedside table.

Christine bit her lip as she watched Stevie turn it on and straddle her thigh again. She kissed her sensually, moving the toy across Christine’s breasts and down the smooth skin of her stomach until she reached her aching bundle of nerves.

“Are you ready, baby?” Stevie whispered against her lips, her sexy tone bringing a fresh wave of pleasure through to Christine’s centre.

“Yes.” Christine breathed, her hand wandering to Stevie’s pussy, wanting to please her too.

Stevie pressed the toy against Christine’s clit, the steady vibrations causing Christine to whimper and thrust her hips in a rhythmic motion. Stevie stared at her while she rubbed her soaked pussy along Christine’s thigh, letting out a high-pitched cry when Christine thumbed her clit over and over.

Their combined pleasure was electric and Christine could feel it down to her toes. Stevie rapidly flicked the vibrator up and down Christine’s clit as her own feverish movements increased, moaning contently as Christine continued to roll her swollen bud. It wasn’t long before Christine’s body tensed and gave in to the pulsing vibrations, practically screaming Stevie’s name as she climaxed. Her release seeped out of her while she desperately laved her tongue over Stevie’s nipple, pushing Stevie off the edge and into her own powerful orgasm as well.

Stevie turned the vibrator off and leaned her forehead against Christine’s, her breathing steadying as she came down from her high. Christine stroked her lower back, still euphoric from her orgasm and using the feel of Stevie’s damp skin to ground her. She kissed her collarbone and they sat there intertwined, comfortable in a sweet repose.

“We should probably get up,” Stevie said. “We have to get ready for the video shoot today.”

Christine sighed, she couldn’t think of anything less appealing but she had a job to do. “I guess you’re right.”

They attended to their morning routine and Stevie gave Christine her birthday gifts, a gorgeous antique watch inlaid with diamonds and a scrapbook filled with photos of their time together since 1975. Christine was moved to find the pages sprinkled with heartfelt bits of romantic poetry, it was a very Stevie gift. Words failed her so she kissed Stevie deeply, falling more in love with her than she already did if that were even possible.

* * *

Christine arrived at the location for the _Little Lies_ shoot without Stevie who vaguely explained she had ‘things to do’ and would meet her there. The farm their location scout had chosen was lovely and Christine felt like she’d been transported to England as she admired the green paddocks and cute barns surrounding her. Her assistant told her to wait while she completed the finishing touches to her trailer so Christine went for a little walk, talking to the film crew while her band mates and girlfriend remained MIA.

Her assistant returned with a big grin on her face and informed her the trailer was ‘ready and waiting’. Feeling perplexed, Christine opened the door and flicked the light on.

“SURPRISE!”

Christine nearly fell down the stairs in complete shock. Her trailer was tastefully decorated with purple and silver balloons and a hand painted banner that read ‘Happy Birthday Christine!’ in Stevie’s distinct script hung from the window. John, Mick and even Lindsey were there, smiling as she walked through the door while Stevie glided towards her, holding a large birthday cake decorated with sparklers and white frosting.

“Happy birthday, babe!” She exclaimed, giving Christine a big kiss.

She led Christine to the table and they all sang _Happy Birthday_ while Christine smiled shyly, not knowing how to respond to the sudden pouring of love and attention after what had been a tense few weeks for the band. They all clapped and John eagerly reached for her.

“Happy birthday my darling ex wife.” He said as he embraced her.

“Thanks, ex hubby.”

Mick and Lindsey gave their wishes and Christine hugged them happily, touched the two of them had managed to unite for her despite their recent falling out.

“This is so lovely, thankyou.” She gazed at all of them as she sat down next to Stevie and opened her gifts. “I don’t want to sound like a sap but I’m so thankful you all came together for me, I don’t know what to say, really!”

Lindsey startled everyone by speaking first. “Of course, Chris. You’re a special lady and the glue that holds this band together, don’t ever forget that.”

Stunned by his sincere words, Christine leapt up and threw her arms around him, knowing she would hold on to this rare moment of togetherness for a long time.

* * *

The shoot went surprisingly well and Christine suspected everyone was on their best behaviour because it was her song and her day. Nonetheless, she appreciated their kindness and couldn’t wait to see the finished product.

She and Stevie went out for dinner and a movie then lay down on a picnic rug in their back garden with Rosie and Layla warming their feet. The evening L.A. sky was uncharacteristically clear, allowing the stars to hold centre stage in all their stunning glory and the ladies admired the view in a companionable silence.

“Did you have a good day, babe?” Stevie asked, turning to face her.

“I did,” Christine pecked Stevie on the lips and caressed her cheek. “You know how to make me feel special.”

“Anything for you.” Stevie said. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a bitch lately, I can’t help it. I know I’m not always the most easiest person to be around anyway but my brain just feels all over the place these days.”

"Your body is probably confused by the Klonopin dose going up and down. But if you keep up the tapering, I'm sure in a few months time you'll be okay."

“Yeah, who knows? Maybe I’ll feel like how I did before the Klonopin, even before the cocaine. Do you think that’s too far of a reach?”

“I’m not a doctor.” Christine shrugged. “I just want you to be well and happy, regardless of what that looks like.”

Stevie buried her face in Christine’s chest and sighed. “I love you, and despite all the fighting and bullshit I love the boys, too. Today was real nice.”

Christine stroked Stevie’s hair, quietly mulling over her statement and trying to piece together the band’s future. The day had been pleasant but she knew a chasm was growing beneath the surface and she couldn’t help but feel anxious. All she could do was hope for the best, and face what was to come with the woman she loved by her side.


	19. Chapter 19

Things quickly unravelled in Fleetwood Mac soon after Christine’s birthday. Lindsey’s ongoing problems with the band triggered a devastating domino affect, causing past resentments to unfurl between all of them. It had gotten so bad that the toxicity started affecting Christine and Stevie’s relationship, something neither of them were emotionally prepared for.

Stevie returned from a television interview she took part in with Lindsey and it was clear from her face they had had a massive falling out. Christine was half-listening to Stevie’s rant when the subject suddenly changed.

“Oh and is it true you wrote _Little Lies_ about me?”

“Sorry?” Christine blinked.

“He told me _Little Lies_ was inspired by how you didn’t trust me and thought I was an unstable, crazy bitch.” Stevie accused. “Is that true?”

“Lindsey’s exaggerating, I never said it like that.” Christine answered.

“So you _did_ write that song about me! Why didn’t you tell me?!”

Christine looked at her steadily but felt prickly and uncomfortable remembering her initial guilt over the song and what Stevie would think. She was also annoyed Lindsey betrayed her confidence in the first place.

“Does it really fucking matter now?” She ran her hand tiredly through her hair. “But yes, if you must know, I wrote that song about you because I was frustrated by how you were acting at the time and it was after you called me an alcoholic. I was upset and hurt so I poured those feelings into my music, it’s no big deal now.”

“I’m your girlfriend!” Stevie exclaimed in disbelief. “Of course it’s a big fucking deal! Or do you not give a shit about my feelings?”

“I’m assuming you’ve conveniently forgotten about the billions of whiny ballads you wrote about Lindsey?” Christine countered sarcastically. “What about his feelings? Or John’s feelings for that matter? We’ve all written songs about each other so feel free to write a revenge track about me if it bothers you so much.”

Stevie opened her mouth to retort but changed her mind, choosing to shrug sadly and leave the room. Christine watched her go, feeling too exhausted and drained to run after her.

* * *

Christine mooched around her studio before she went looking for Stevie to apologise for her guilt-induced reaction. Technically, Stevie was right; but her delivery was terrible and it raised Christine’s guard up immediately. She was starting to have problems differentiating between ‘normal feisty Stevie’ and ‘unwell Stevie’ and it drove her up the wall.

“Stevie?” She called out as she walked around the house with Layla trailing after her.

No answer.

Thinking Stevie might have taken a nap, Christine made her way to their bedroom. Instead of sighting a Stevie sized lump under the blanket, she found clothes and shoes strewn all over the bed and Christine realised she had gone out without saying a word. Sighing, she tided up Stevie’s mess while Layla looked up at her bewilderedly.

“Mummy’s legged it.” She said to her crisply.

Christine cleaned up the bathroom, growing more and more frustrated as she rinsed out eye shadow flakes in the sink and wiped down pressed powder smudges on the counter. Unable to help herself, she opened the medicine cabinet and examined Stevie’s pill organiser, disturbed to discover she had missed a day’s worth of doses.

She numbly placed the box back in the cabinet and sat on the toilet seat with her head in her hands. She gave Stevie her privacy and naively trusted her to do the right thing when clearly she should have been more hands on. Stevie was out there doing God-knows-what while withdrawing; she had to find her.

After some terse phone calls, she put together that Stevie was having dinner with her _Wild Heart_ tour director and their mutual friends somewhere in West Hollywood. Christine pondered her next move and realised there was no point in driving around trying to find her or anxiously ruminating at home. She eventually decided to go out to dinner with her own friends, leaving it to the ether to bring her girlfriend back safe and sound.

* * *

Christine returned at 10pm and Stevie was still missing. Sick with worry she stayed up until Stevie strolled in at around 2am, mildly inebriated and irritatingly oblivious to Christine’s edgy mood.

“Where the hell have you been?”

“Out.” Stevie replied with a slight slur. “You know this because you were spying on me. Ginny told me you called her.”

“What?” Christine frowned. “I wasn’t spying on you! You left the house without saying anything and I was worried sick out of my fucking mind so I made some phone calls.”

“So I have to ask for your permission every time I leave, do I?” Stevie snapped. “You’re not my mom.”

“Stevie,” Christine began measuredly. “Think about it. You and Lindsey had a row and then you came home and engaged in some unpleasantness with me. Of course I’d be concerned about what you would do after.”

“I’m not a nut-job! I wasn’t planning on throwing myself off the Hollywood sign or anything like that.” Stevie shot back scathingly. “Is that really what you think of me?”

Christine took in Stevie’s heightened demeanour and figured confronting her about the dose skipping wasn’t a good idea. “No, honey, I don’t. Let’s go to bed.”

Stevie vehemently shook her head. “I’m not tired. You can do whatever you want but I’m going to write some music.”

“Fine.” Christine said; deciding to stay up with her to make sure nothing bad happened while she was coming down.

She camped out on the couch with a coffee and drew while Stevie sat at the piano and began ‘working’. Her voice sounded reedy and the chord progression was all over the place. The noise was so bad that the dogs started barking from the kitchen.

“Maybe just focus on one thing?” Christine suggested.

“Don’t coach me.”

Christine rolled her eyes and got back to her mindless artwork until exhaustion eventually overtook her. She fell into a troubled sleep, jolted awake by the weight of Stevie’s body draped across her. Christine was relieved to feel her even breaths against her neck and soothingly ran her hand down her back.

“Babe, you’re kind of crushing me.” She mumbled, gently nudging Stevie to her side.

Stevie slept into the afternoon while Christine went about her day. She made them lunch and placed Stevie’s morning Klonopin dose on the kitchen counter, the gesture was hardly subtle but Christine was done with niceties by that point. 

“Hey.” Stevie yawned as she shuffled into the kitchen.

Christine assessed Stevie’s appearance while she poured herself a coffee and chowed down her sandwich. She looked hung over and dishevelled, but otherwise it was like the previous day never happened.

“We need to talk.”

“About what?” Stevie asked, drifting to the pantry to pull out a bag of chips.

“Yesterday. Do you remember any of it?”

“Lindsey was being an asshole, then we got into some random fight so I went out to lose some steam,” Stevie recollected lightly as she sat back down and opened the bag. “And then I came back and worked on some music, right?”

"Yes and no.” Christine handed her the pill. “You haven’t been taking your medication, Stevie. Please don’t fight with me about this and just take the bloody thing. You can’t keep doing what you’re doing, it’s scary and I’m so worried about you.”

Stevie stared at the pill and looked up at her with an apathetic look on her face. “I feel like shit when I take it and I feel like shit when I don’t take it, I don’t know what I’m suppose-“

“You’re supposed to be following Dr. Renmark’s orders.” Christine finished for her. “Whatever happens after you take your dose, we’ll deal with it. But it’s worse when you skip them like you’ve been doing recently. How many times do I have to repeat myself?”

Stevie clucked her tongue impatiently and took the medicine, washing it down with a glass of water Christine quickly handed to her. “There. Happy now? I took it for you.”

“This is not about me, gorgeous,” She gently turned Stevie’s scowling face towards her. “You’re a beautiful girl inside and out and deserve better than what you’re doing to yourself. Let me help you properly, I’ll keep your box and make sure you’re taking them. I don’t think I can trust you to manage the tapering by yourself anymore.”

Stevie’s lip quivered and Christine was struggling to keep her own emotions in check.

“For fuck’s sake, don’t give me that puppy dog look when I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you.” She laughed dryly, wiping a tear from her eye.

“I can’t help my face.” Stevie retorted jokingly. “Look, keep the pills, manage them for me, whatever. Just don’t manage other aspects of my life.”

“Do you think I do that?” Christine asked her quietly.

“No, but you know I’ve always done my own thing.” Stevie said. “I felt simultaneously attacked and smothered yesterday.”

“I was worried about your state, honey. But I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about _Little Lies_ earlier. Everything changed so quickly between us and I’d forgotten a lot of what happened last year. Our life together can be crazy.”

Stevie cracked her knuckles nervously. “I know you didn’t sign up for this, a crazy relationship with an ex cocaine addict and prescription meds misuser.”

“We all have baggage and shit we’re dealing with, it doesn’t mean I love you any less. We just need to be on the same page with your medication and work as a team, yeah?” She reached out and held Stevie’s hand.

Stevie nodded with a slight roll of her eyes and Christine slowly pulled her hand away, feeling deflated and discouraged.

* * *

A few hours later, Christine was working in the studio trying to come up with possible material for her solo album when Stevie dropped in with a cup of tea.

“I thought you might want this.” She said, leaving it on the table near her keyboard.

“Thank you, that was thoughtful of you.”

Out of nowhere Stevie plonked herself in Christine’s lap and kissed her ardently.

“What was that for?” Christine asked breathlessly when they finally separated.

Stevie ran her thumb slowly across Christine’s bottom lip. “Because I love you and I’m still in love with you and I wanted you to know that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thanks for reading. I’m sorry this chapter was a bit unpleasant but the girls are going thru it. Feedback and comments are always welcome, especially regarding Stevie’s growing Klonopin problem. Cheers, Ava x


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This chapter contains a physically violent scene between Lindsey and Stevie that allegedly occurred in real life. There are differing variations so I tried to write this as sensitively and respectfully as I could. I don’t mean to depict anyone in a slanderous light, I can only assume the event was frightening and painful for all parties involved. – Ava

Christine once prided herself as a woman with nerves of steel. She liked to operate under the mantra that every problem had a solution and focused on rectifying mistakes rather than unnecessarily fretting over them. But trying to give equal time to Stevie’s tapering problems, Fleetwood Mac’s upcoming tour, and her own career ambitions were difficult. In short, Christine was drowning.

The band relented to Lindsey’s demands for a ten-week tour and the venues and dates were booked and confirmed. There was no backing out, rehearsals were set to begin, but Lindsey remained distant and uncommunicative. No one had spoken to him directly in two weeks and the clipped messages he conveyed via his manager set alarm bells for Christine and Mick.

“Should we say something?” She asked Mick and John over the phone while Stevie listened in. “Why is he speaking to us through his manager? It’s so frustrating when people do that, we’ve been together for 12 years for crying out loud, where’s the respect?”

“I agree,” Mick said. “The five of us need to meet together without the middle men and sort out whatever the hell is going on once and for all.”

“He wants out.” Stevie interjected. “Trust me, he wants out. He’s done.”

Christine frowned at her. “Do you really think so?”

“You’re forgetting I’ve known the guy since high school and I was with him for five years so I’m attuned to his whacky moods.” Stevie explained dryly. “When he’s being a passive aggressive dick it’s because he’s unhappy and is over whatever he’s doing. All I’m saying is expect the resignation papers soon.”

Christine absent-mindedly rubbed Stevie’s back while they devised a plan. She sensed that despite her matter of fact tone, Stevie was anxious over the prospect of Lindsey exiting the band without her. The pair had entered Fleetwood Mac as a two-for-one deal after all.

A day later and before they could even make the first phone call, Lindsey’s manager informed them he wanted to arrange a meeting to discuss ‘Lindsey’s future’ and ‘his happiness and overall creative needs’. Christine firmly delivered the band’s conditions and after some back and forth resistance, Lindsey finally agreed to meet them at her house without anyone else present.

“I can’t believe we’ve come to this,” Stevie expressed to Christine while they lay in bed, both of them too agitated to sleep. “Remember the days when we used to fight and scream but it was all honest and without the bullshit formalities? This is so fucked.”

“It is fucked.” Christine echoed with a defeated sigh, unable to voice any meaningful words of comfort.

* * *

Stevie took Rosie and Layla to her assistant’s house as the boys started trickling in. Mick arrived first and tried to ‘strategise’ while John suggested they take a more laidback, conversational approach. Christine agreed, but when Lindsey made his much awaited entrance, it was clear from the chilly energy he brought with him that the conversation would be anything but casual.

“How have you been, Linds?” John asked as they sat down in the living room.

Lindsey ignored the question and looked at Christine. “Where’s Stevie?”

“She took the dogs to Ginny’s so they won’t be a distraction, she’ll be back soon.”

“Right.”

They made painfully awkward small talk until Stevie returned and the band got straight down to business.

“So, what’s going on with you?” She stared at Lindsey disdainfully; it wasn’t a promising start.

“I’m here to announce I won’t be accompanying you guys on the tour.” He swept his gaze on all band members individually. “I’m going to shift my focus back into my solo career, it’s where my true happiness lies and I don’t have the emotional or creative bandwidth to handle a tour right now, I’m sorry.”

The room was uncomfortably quiet as each of them processed his words. Christine cast a sideways glance at Stevie who was digging her nails into the couch.

John was the first to break the silence. “We’ve signed the contracts, you can’t pull out now.”

“I’m not doing it.”

“This is some sick, bloody joke.” Mick muttered. “ _Please_ tell me this is a wind up.”

Lindsey shook his head in an irritated manner. “It isn’t.”

“We changed the tour length to suit your needs, Linds,” Christine said. “We have to stick to this. If you need a break after the tour then that’s fine but not when we’ve just made a huge commitment.”

“Why am I the only person in this fucking band who can’t have some time off when I ask for it?” Lindsey fumed. “The rest of you can be Benzo fucked or nearly drink yourself to death and still get what you want. When is it my turn?”

“Who was the Benzo fucked comment directed at?” Stevie asked in a quiet, venomous voice that made Christine tense up.

“Who do you think?” Lindsey rolled his eyes sarcastically. “You are a huge reason why I don’t have the energy anymore, Stevie. I’ve had enough of your drug abusing, unpredictable, aggressive ass.”

“ _My_ aggressive ass?” Stevie exclaimed incredulously. “Have you ever fucking taken a look at yourself?”

“I have, and after some soul searching I realised I can’t be on this lunatic merry-go-round with you any longer.”

“You’re so full of shit!” Stevie cried while Christine subtly tried to hold her back. “Always putting the blame on me when you know you’re nothing but a toxic, neurotic psychopath.”

“Guys, stop,” John warned. “Lindsey, maybe you should leave the room for a bit and calm down?”

But Buckingham Nicks weren’t finished. “You were barely there to record the album, you hardly know any of the songs, you continue to unnecessarily start fights with me during press junkets,” Lindsey listed angrily. “How can I work with you when you’re so fucked up and out of control?”

Stevie jumped off the couch and launched herself at Lindsey, beating his chest and clawing his face while screaming obscenities at him.

“YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE DOING THIS TO ME, FUCK YOU!”

Christine and John tried to pull Stevie off him when he suddenly grabbed her and threw her down on the couch.

“SCHIZOPHRENIC BITCH!” He shouted, looming over her menacingly.

Stevie managed to wriggle out of his grasp and made a run for it with Lindsey hot on her heels. He chased her out of the house while Stevie continued to scream and screech; it was like a scene out of a b-grade horror movie but with a heavier, emotional storyline.

Christine ran after them, her heart beating in her ears and her mouth dry. She had witnessed Stevie and Lindsey get physical before but this felt different, more devastating and irreparable. Someone was going to get seriously hurt.

“Stevie! Lindsey! Stop!” She yelled while John and Mick followed closely behind. “Please don’t do anything stupid!”

She burst out of the front door and saw them hurtling down the driveway. Stevie abruptly stopped in her tracks, turned around and slapped Lindsey hard across his face. He staggered slightly before he dug his fingers into her arms and slammed her onto the hood of his car.

“NO!” Christine screamed as she flew towards Lindsey.

“Christine will fucking kill you! And if she doesn’t kill you, my dad and my brother will kill you!”

All coherent thought escaped her mind as she jumped onto Lindsey’s back and tried to wrench him off her girlfriend, who stared up at her with wide, frightened eyes while Lindsey had his hands around her neck. Before Christine could do anything further, Lindsey pushed her off him with such force she fell to the ground and felt the air momentarily leave her body.

“Don’t you fucking touch them!” She heard John growl, wrestling Lindsey off Stevie and restraining him against the car door. “You leave these ladies alone, do you hear me?”

Mick helped Christine up and she stumbled toward Stevie who had slid down the bonnet and lay in front of the car in a crumpled heap.

“Stevie, honey, please, it’s okay.” Christine said shakily, holding Stevie against her while she looked up at Lindsey. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

Lindsey seemed distraught. “Just get out of my life, Stevie.”

“I think you should leave now.” Mick told him firmly.

Lindsey jerked out of John and Mick’s restraint and opened the car door.

“You’re a bunch of selfish bastards.” He glared at all of them, but focused particularly on Christine and Stevie.

He slid into the driver’s seat, slammed the door and violently reversed down the driveway. They watched him speed away from the house and out of sight, Stevie desperately crying out for him to come back.

* * *

John and Mick stayed with Christine while she tended to Stevie’s injuries in the kitchen. She placed gel ice packs against the areas Lindsey was rough with her while John made them both a cup of tea. With business still on the forefront of his mind, Mick quickly made frantic phone calls to all of their managers in the dining room, his voice rising and falling as he relayed the horrific events.

“Can I have a glass of wine, please?” Stevie croaked when John placed the tea in front of her.

John hesitated and looked at Christine for permission.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, darling.” She advised her gently while stroking her hair.

“It’s one glass of wine, let me have it.” Stevie replied flatly.

“Alcohol isn’t going to solve your problems.”

“I don’t give a shit.”

Christine sighed; she didn’t have any energy left in her to fight. She nodded at John, giving him the all clear and he swiftly poured her a small glass of wine.

“Thanks.” Stevie mumbled, taking a sip.

Mick entered the room and gingerly hugged Stevie to his side. “You’ll be alright, love.”

“What did everyone say?” John asked him.

“No one’s heard from him yet but it’s safe to say he has probably left the band,” Mick shrugged. “I foresaw this happening so I guess Plan B needs to be put into action.”

Christine couldn’t give two flying fucks about Plan B when her girlfriend was staring off into the distance in a dissociative manner and wincing every time she shifted in her seat.

“Maybe we’ll discuss our plan tomorrow and give Chris and Stevie some time alone?” John suggested, picking up on the girls’ complete disinterest.

“Righto.” Mick nodded. “We’ll check in tomorrow but call us if you need anything.”

Christine gave them both a hug but held on to John a little longer.

“Call me if you want to talk, Chrissy.” He kissed her forehead.

Christine smiled wanly at him. “Thankyou, Johnny.”

Mick and John let themselves out while Christine sat next to Stevie and readjusted the ice packs.

“I really should take you to the hospital.” She noted.

Stevie shook her head. “I have everything I need right here. Take me to the hospital and it’ll be a circus, they’ll ask questions I don’t want to answer and some jackass is bound to leak it to the press. No way.”

“I hate how famous you are.” Christine said bitterly.

“It is what it is.”

“What can I do for you?” Christine asked her. “I’ll do anything, name it, and I’ll do it.”

“Just stay with me.” Stevie sighed, crawling into Christine’s lap and resting her head against her chest. “And get someone to bring Rosie and Layla back.”

* * *

Christine brushed her teeth while Stevie lay in bed listening to music with Rosie and Layla on the floor beside her. They were joyous and excited to be reunited with their mummas and Christine nearly burst into tears when they arrived, overwhelmed by the sense of normalcy and innocence they brought back into the house.

She crawled into bed and drew Stevie to her, lightly running her hands up and down her spine.

“How are you feeling?” She asked her.

“Fine.” Stevie replied, burrowing her face into Christine’s neck and intertwining their legs together.

Christine watched her fall asleep and speculated the day’s trauma would hit her eventually. And it did. Sometime in the early hours of the morning she woke to the sound of Stevie gasping for breath and clutching her neck in panic. Her big eyes depicting the same fearful expression she wore when she was pinned beneath Lindsey’s body and pleading for Christine to save her.


	21. Chapter 21

Lindsey officially left Fleetwood Mac the day after his big blow up with Stevie.

The memo written by his manager was clinical and flat, describing Lindsey as ‘creatively and emotionally exhausted’ and he could no longer work with Stevie due to their ‘volatile interactions’ and her ‘erratic behaviour’. It was a depressing read, and the soullessness of the message was downright insulting.

“He won’t fucking admit it!” Stevie exclaimed, throwing the memo in the kitchen bin. “All he’s doing is throwing me under the bus like I’m the fucking problem.”

 _You are part of the problem,_ Christine guiltily thought to herself. What Lindsey did was horrific and unforgiveable, but she couldn’t deny Stevie’s violence, either. Try as she might, she couldn’t forget Stevie’s long nails scraping into Lindsey’s face and the piercing slap that sent him staggering backwards in shock. But her troubled thoughts were something she could never express to Stevie, especially when the incident was still very fresh and she was understandably emotionally fragile.

“I think he’s feeling guilty but doesn’t know how to voice it,” Christine offered tactfully. “Heartfelt apologies were never his strong suit.”

“He could have killed me,” Stevie said, her voice cracking slightly. “I thought he was going to kill me.”

Christine swiftly gathered Stevie in her arms and kissed her hair. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk to someone? I can come with you?”

“No.” Stevie replied flatly. “I don’t need to see a therapist, I’ve seen enough of them in rehab to last me a lifetime. I’m good.”

“After I had that scary experience with John I saw a counsellor and she really helped me,” Christine told her. “It was a huge emotional release to talk to someone outside of our little bubble and get some neutral advice.

“That’s great for you, Chris, but I said I’m not interested,” Stevie insisted in the same monotonous voice. “I’ll just write, that’s the only therapy I need right now.”

Christine gave Stevie a final hug before letting go of her; she clearly wanted some space. “Well, let me know if you change your mind.”

Stevie mostly operated on autopilot for the rest of the morning, going through the motions and speaking only when directly spoken to. She let Christine apply aloe vera to her noticeable bruises and took her Klonopin dose without complaint. But around midday when she thought Christine was out of earshot, she cried in their bedroom and emerged puffy-eyed and subdued, unwilling to do anything except veg out in front of the television with her head in Christine’s lap.

* * *

The couple were still sitting on the couch with the dogs when Mick and John rang that afternoon. Christine got up to answer the phone while Stevie lay down underneath the blanket, settling in for what was going to be a long, escapist nap.

She watched the blanket rise and fall in time to Stevie’s even breaths while she half listened to Mick’s monologue. After Lindsey’s announcement, Plan B was executed immediately. Mick chose two guitarists to replace him and they were keen to start as soon as possible. They weren’t strangers to the band and seemed like an automatic choice, especially on such short notice.

“What do you think, Chris?” Mick asked her eagerly.

“Yeah I’ve worked with Billy before and he’s very talented,” She responded. “Haven’t met Rick but I trust your judgment, sounds like you both made the right decision. Congratulations.”

“Can you put Stephanie on the phone so we can hear her two cents?”

“She’s sleeping. Now’s not a good time, Mick, but I’ll let her know and she might call you later.” Christine said.

“How is she?” John asked concernedly.

“Awful.” Christine confided. “She’s angry but devastated at the same time and I can tell she regrets her own actions but she’s never going to admit it.”

“The way those two carried on was atrocious, it was worse than the time he threw a guitar at her.” Mick reflected sombrely. “But I think she will benefit from working with some new people, she’s performed with Billy in _Zoo_ and seemed to get along with him.”

“Well, sounds like we’re off to a positive start.” Christine said. “I have to go but thanks for keeping me updated and send Billy and Rick my regards, I look forward to working with them.”

Mick and John said their goodbyes and Christine returned to Stevie, quietly slipping under the blanket to nestle in next to her. She fell asleep for a few minutes and woke to Stevie staring at her intensely.

“Was that Mick on the phone?” She asked quietly.

“Yes,” Christine paused; contemplating whether to tell Stevie the news, she figured there was no point hiding it from her. “We have two new guitarists; Billy Burnette and Rick Vito, they’re going to join our tour and collaborate on any albums we do after that.”

Stevie gave her an anguished look that broke Christine’s heart. “Mick’s replaced him already?”

Christine nodded. “I’m sorry, Stevie. You know what Mick’s like.”

Stevie let out a choked sob and turned away from Christine, pulling the blanket over her and descending into the comforting world of unconsciousness once more.

* * *

Christine managed to coax Stevie into having dinner before she slouched back to the couch. She curled up under the blanket and opened her journal, filling page after page with her wild, powerful thoughts. Christine gazed at her tenderly, relieved to see her doing something other than sleeping and watching TV.

Realising she had barely done anything productive herself, Christine resumed work for her solo project. She was adding the finishing touches to a demo when Stevie appeared in the doorway.

“That sounds pretty.” She stated, smiling for the first time that day.

Christine beamed back at her. “Thanks, gorgeous. Would you like to hear the full song?”

Stevie nodded enthusiastically and sat down next to her, leaning her head on her shoulder while she waited.

Christine wound her arm around Stevie’s waist and hit play on her home recording system. She found herself blushing through the whole thing, and when it was over, she sheepishly glanced at Stevie who had nothing but a proud look on her face.

“Wow…Estoril? Who had the pleasure of being with you in Estoril?” Stevie asked her.

Christine blushed again. “No one, this song’s about you.”

“Oh,” It was Stevie’s turn to turn red. “We’ve never been to Estoril together.”

“We haven’t,” Christine squeezed her waist gently. “But I would like to take you there. When all of this is over and we have a proper break, I’ll take you there.”

Stevie gave Christine a shy smile before she kissed her softly. “I would like that very much.”

* * *

Fleetwood Mac commenced rehearsals the week after Lindsey gave his official notice. Christine had to hand it to Mick; he was the king of contingency plans and beating the press to the punch. The world now knew about Lindsey’s departure through a carefully curated statement that was positive and un-accusatory. But Lindsey’s side of the story was bound to emerge, and the tabloids were digging for a more salacious tale than ‘we are heading into a new, exciting direction and we wish Lindsey Buckingham nothing but the best’. All the band could do was try to move on and focus on the tour, now appropriately titled _Shake The Cage._

Billy and Rick were great substitutes and Christine got along with them like a house on fire. They brought a sense of infectious exuberance into a band that was on the brink of falling apart. Even Stevie, who was reserved and slightly cold during their first meeting, warmed up to them soon enough and spoke to Christine about how much she liked them.

They returned home after a productive rehearsal and Christine retrieved the mail while Stevie let herself in. She shuffled through the bills and catalogues before coming across a plain white envelope with her name and address written neatly on the front. She recognised the handwriting immediately and her heart began to thud.

She went inside and found Stevie in the kitchen pouring a glass of orange juice while Layla and Rosie yapped excitedly around her.

“Want one?” She offered.

“Oh, no thanks.” Christine dropped the mail on the counter and handed Stevie the letter with great trepidation. “This was in the mailbox…I-I think it’s from Lindsey.”

Stevie’s face turned to stone as she took the letter and lightly traced over Lindsey’s script with her thumb. “It is; that’s his handwriting.”

“Shall we read it together?” Christine asked her tentatively.

Stevie shook her head and briskly gave it back to her. “No. He wrote it to you, not me. I already know what it’s going to say, anyway. A bunch of ‘woe is me’ bullshit about how it’s not his fault and I started it yada yada. They’d be a line thrown in there about how he still loves me and can’t bear to be around me anymore. I really don’t want to hear it, but you go ahead. Have fun.” She swiped up her orange juice, exited the kitchen and angrily clomped up the stairs, slamming their bedroom door behind her.

Left alone, Christine took a deep breath and opened the envelope. She unfolded the piece of paper and began reading.

_Dear Christine,_

_I am writing this letter to tell you how sorry I am for what happened at your house earlier this month. My actions were probably inexcusable, but I was, and still am, in an emotionally vulnerable state and felt pushed and pushed to the point where I could no longer bear Stevie’s spiky, hurtful words anymore. I never got closure from that relationship and working with her for the 11 years after we broke up took a toll on me that I can’t even begin to describe. The only way I can-and have done so-is through my music._

_I also never fully accepted you and Stevie’s relationship. I wish you nothing but the best because I respect you a lot, Chris. But I have to reveal to you…I still love Stephanie Lynn Nicks and always will. So seeing her fulfilled and happy with someone who not only loves her, but also understands every intricate facet of her complicated and ethereal personality made me very bitter and jealous._

_Take care of that maddeningly beautiful girl, but most importantly, take care of yourself. You are a kind, generous and loving woman and while Stevie is also all of those things, I can see she’s slowly unravelling. I know you won’t fall down the same rabbit hole she has, but don’t lose yourself in the process of trying to save her._

_Good luck,_

_Lindsey x_

With shaking hands, Christine slowly folded the letter and put it back in the envelope before sliding it in a drawer where she kept her odds and ends. Needing some fresh air, she stepped into the backyard and sat on her patio for what felt like hours; _“I know you won’t fall down the same rabbit hole she has, but don’t lose yourself in the process of trying to save her.”_ swirling around and around in her brain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just want to quickly say I am in no way victim blaming/shaming Stevie for what allegedly happened. I was trying to convey some of Christine’s possible confusion and sadness over what she saw. I also don’t intend to bash Lindsey and wanted to include a little (possibly unrealistic) scene where he reaches out to Christine to express some of his own thoughts and pain he’d been hiding for years. 
> 
> For anyone interested, the song Christine played for Stevie was Nights in Estoril, which is on the Time album that everyone hates for some reason.
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked this chapter and I’m sorry it was a bit depressing. - Ava


	22. Chapter 22

_Little Lies_ was finally released at the end of August, achieving praise and recognition beyond Christine’s wildest dreams. Her little song reached number one on the US Adult Contemporary chart and was predicted to achieve similar success in the UK. Christine was overwhelmed with happiness but her achievement felt bittersweet; she wished Lindsey were there to celebrate with her. He prophesised her songs would be stellar knockouts and she secretly wanted to share her success with someone who believed in her _Tango_ work from day one.

With a finished demo ready and waiting, Christine managed to wrangle a meeting with Russ Titelman, the producer of her 1984 solo album. Her manager tried to keep her expectations realistic; though she continually rode a professional high with Fleetwood Mac, her solo work flew under the radar and received mixed reviews. He warned Christine that while Russ liked and admired her talent, he was hesitant in working with her again when other musicians on his client list were more high profile and profitable. She had to make an impeccable impression for him to take notice.

The pressure was on and Christine couldn’t afford any distractions or drama. She placed her tape and paperwork in her handbag and quickly went to check on Stevie before she left.

“Stevie, I’m going for my meeting now. I’ll see you later?” She quickly popped her head into the sunroom where Stevie was lying on the couch watching television.

Stevie grunted, her eyes not leaving the screen. Christine noticed she had a greenish hue about her and beads of sweat were clinging to her forehead.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” Stevie mumbled, hiding further underneath the blanket.

Christine inhaled sharply as she marched to the phone and began dialing some numbers. _Of course_ Stevie had to play up when she had an important business appointment that required all of her attention. She worried about Stevie but her selfish side was exasperated she had to play caseworker on today of all days.

“Don’t bother calling Ginny she’s on vacation.” Stevie said. “Go, Christine, I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” Christine replied crisply. “Let me call someone to come down here.”

“I don’t need a babysitter.” Stevie insisted defiantly.

Christine ignored her and tried calling some of Stevie’s more trustworthy friends. Her heart dropped at every feeble rejection and mumbling excuse; she found it bizarre how her girlfriend could be the most popular girl in town but have zero practical support when she really needed it.

“Well that worked out swimmingly,” Christine noted as she slammed the phone. “Get up, Stevie, you’ll have to come with me.”

Stevie groaned and swatted Christine’s arm away when she tried to extract her from the couch. After a brief struggle and many expletive protestations from Stevie, Christine managed to get her dressed and seated in the front seat of her car as she sped to Warner Bros.

“Did you take something after your morning dose?” Christine asked her robotically.

Stevie stubbornly faced the window but that didn’t deter Christine from continuing her interrogation.

“We don’t have alcohol in the house anymore so what was it? A secret stash of Xanax?”

Stevie scoffed. “I didn’t take _Xanax_ , I’m not a fucking idiot, Chris. I just don’t feel well. This is unnecessary and a huge waste of my time.”

“Waste of _your_ time?” Christine exclaimed before controlling herself, she had more important things to focus on than starting an argument with Stevie. “We’ll talk about it later. Just let me focus on myself and my career for the next couple of hours and we’ll go back to your problems.”

“I wasn’t telling you not to focus on yourself.” Stevie replied agitatedly.

Christine swung her car into the car park and bundled Stevie out of her Mercedes and into the building. She was ten minutes late and very conscious of the fact Russ didn’t like to be kept waiting. With one arm linked with Stevie’s she desperately tried to compose herself before entering one of the medium size conference rooms where Russ and her manager were already waiting.

“I am so sorry, Russ, ” Christine said as she shook his hand. “How are you? I hope you haven’t been waiting long?”

“Don’t worry about it, Christine,” He eyed Stevie with keen interest. “You didn’t tell me you were bringing Ms. Nicks along? Are you two planning on doing an album together?”

Christine subtly glanced at her manager who promptly shook his head, their code for ‘this person is oblivious about your relationship with Stevie, so keep things vague and light’.

“No I’m pitching a solo demo, Stevie is just here for support.” She explained while her ‘support’ clumsily dropped into a chair and rested her forehead on the table.

“Oh,” Russ looked disappointed. “Let’s hear it then.”

Christine set up her tape in the boom box sound system and pressed play. She moved her foot anxiously in time with the music and tried to ignore the notes Russ lazily wrote in his notebook.

Her last song ended and the room fell silent; Christine didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not. Feeling uncharacteristically flustered, she launched into a scattered rationale Russ hadn’t asked for.

“So as you probably heard, I’m envisioning the album to be quite up tempo but with some soft rock ballads interspersed in between. I plan on-“

“Rock ballads?” Russ interrupted her. “That sounds promising. I know Lindsey Buckingham left your band but is he interested in collaborating with you again? He contributed some amazing work on _Christine McVie_.”

Stevie snorted obnoxiously and Christine nudged her leg under the table in an attempt to get her to shut up.

“I don’t know; I’ll have to ask him.” She replied to Ross carefully before quickly changing the subject. “I’ve been in contact with my team and they’re interested in beginning production as soon as our tour is finish-“

“Can someone open a window in here?” Stevie demanded, fanning her face and taking a shaky sip of the glass of water in front of her. “It’s so fucking hot.”

Christine’s manager immediately opened a window while Christine helped Stevie take off her jacket. Her face was looking off colour again and Christine prayed she would hold it together until the meeting finished, or at least graciously excuse herself to go to the bathroom.

“I really don’t have the capacity at the moment to produce your record overseas again when it makes more sense to do it here.” Russ said distractedly, staring at Stevie who burped queasily. “I was also hoping for material similar to your work in _Tango In The Night._ What you have shown me today sounds pretty much identical to _Christine McVie._ Where’s the variety? Your previous album fell short due to the lack of variety.”

“I don’t have much of an explanation as to why it sounds like my previous work except I know what I like and feel strongly about.” Christine tried to speak with conviction. “I am open to adding material similar to what I compose for Fleetwood Mac _._ But there were a lot of digital synths involved in _Tango_ and I’m unsure if I want to continue with that sound.”

“Hmm, again, Mr. Buckingham’s input will be valuable if he was responsible for enhancing your songs on that record. That’s the sound I am more partial on working with.” He finished dispassionately before directing his attention to Stevie. “What’s your opinion on your band mate’s demo, Ms. Nicks?”

Christine pressed her fingers to her temple and stared out the window, she didn’t even want to look at Stevie.

“I think it’s amazing, she’s amazing…we’re going to Estoril together like she sung in that song.” She managed to choke out before promptly vomiting all over the table.

* * *

Stevie refused to go to the doctor after Christine’s disastrous meeting and instead resumed her position on the couch with a cold flannel draped over her forehead and a box of saltine crackers lying on her stomach. Christine gave her a glass of water and went to her office to undertake some serious damage control.

She phoned her manager who spoke in morose, almost funeral like tones. Apparently Russ had a lot to say about Stevie’s physical appearance; he found it bizarre she was even there in the first place. He sensed drama and dysfunction but was willing to meet with Christine in the future once her ‘personal and band life settled down’ and she was in a position to deliver more ‘enchanting content’. Christine couldn’t really argue with that; her demo was slightly rushed and while she was happy with her work, it could have been better.

“Figure out what you’re going to do with Stevie, Chris. She’s bringing you down.” Her manager advised tiredly before ending the call.

Christine was deflated, embarrassed and absolutely furious with Stevie. She exited her office and went back into the sunroom, her hackles rising at the sight of Stevie casually munching on her crackers like everything was A-Okay.

“How are you?” She muttered through gritted teeth.

Stevie shrugged off-handedly. “Better. These crackers are a miracle cure for nausea, I swear.“

“Russ doesn’t want to produce my record.” Christine stated glumly, searching Stevie’s vacant eyes for any signs of guilt or remorse. “He said he might meet with me again, though, once my life has settled down.”

“Don’t worry about it, he seemed like a dick, anyway.” Stevie responded blandly and Christine had the sudden urge to slap her.

“Stevie. You. Threw. Up. In. My. Meeting.” She glared at her icily. “Don’t you see how unprofessional you made me look?”

There was an uncomfortable pause while Stevie began to comprehend Christine’s anger.

“I’m sorry.” Stevie said meekly, looking down at the empty cracker box. “I didn’t know I would get that bad.”

“What’s going on?” Christine snapped. “Just tell me. I’m angry and hurt and I’m fucking over you keeping secrets from me. Have you gone back to your old psychiatrist to up your dose? Is that what happened?”

Stevie was silent and Christine had her answer. She got up and quickly left the room, walking away from her until she was far enough to privately burst into tears.

* * *

Christine chose to sleep in one of the spare rooms that night. She was still staring blankly at the ceiling when she heard Stevie quietly open the door and pad across the carpet.

“Chris, I can’t sleep. Can I stay here?”

“Go away.” Christine mumbled childishly.

Stevie turned to leave and Christine’s heart panged for her. _Damn it._ With a defeated sigh, she moved the covers aside and patted the space next to her.

Stevie climbed into bed and lay close to Christine, but was careful not to touch her.

“Can I explain why?” She asked hesitantly.

Christine needed no clarifications as to what she was talking about. “I suppose.”

“Since Lindsey and I got into that fight I wanted to escape.” She admitted. “When I take more Klonopin I welcome the numbing feeling. I’m sick as hell but my brain is smoothed over. I think of that day and I don’t feel panicked or anxious or guilty or scared. I don’t feel anything.”

“If you don’t feel anything towards that day it means you probably don’t feel anything in general.” Christine responded dryly.

“It’s not like that.” Stevie insisted. “I feel terrible about what happened today. You’re the only thing that matters to me right now.”

Christine didn’t say anything and closed her eyes; the conversation was getting too much for her.

“When the Klonopin wears off, my mind is back in overdrive. I keep going over what happened when Lindsey left and I dissect every word and every action. I wonder why I did what I did and what came over me,” Stevie paused. “It’s not nice, Chris. I want the thoughts to stop.”

“Go and see a counsellor like I suggested in the first place.” Christine murmured, trailing her fingers down Stevie’s arm and grasping her hand. “I’m tired, Stevie. I’m tired of trying to help you only to fail every time. I’m not equipped for this, you need proper help.”

“No,” Stevie started crying. “I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want to think about it. I want to forget all the shitty decisions I’ve made over the past ten years.”

Christine gathered the shaking girl in her arms, but her heart felt hollow and disengaged.

”I want to forget, Chris…” Stevie gasped through her tears. “I just want to forget...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Just wanted to say a huge thank you to my friend, Katy (aka. mastiffgirl) for not only fact checking my work, but also being a huge support and truly understanding my writing…I value our friendship more than words can describe.  
> \- Ava


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Explicit and emotional.

Christine dragged Stevie to see Dr. Renmark for what felt like the tenth time. She wasn’t qualified to handle Stevie’s problems and Dr. Renmark echoed that sentiment loud and clear. Rehab was presented as an option, but unsurprisingly, Stevie didn’t want a bar of it. The negotiations and excuses ran off her tongue like honey; _my band is going on tour, I’ve already been to rehab before, maybe an anti-depressant will help me?_ But Dr. Renmark stood his ground; more medication would only cause more problems. Eventually, Stevie tearfully promised to taper ‘for real this time’ so Dr. Renmark provided them with resources to assist in setting up a long-term plan. Christine shuffled the paperwork into a neat bundle and tried to walk out of the clinic with her held head high. But inside, she was an anxious, helpless mess.

Christine took the dogs to meet up with John at Runyon Canyon Park while Stevie hung out at the house with Tom Petty. She normally disliked going to Runyon; it was a crowded hotspot full of tourists itching for a celebrity encounter, and people fawned over Stevie like bees to the honey pot. This time, however, she enjoyed a relaxing, low-key stroll with John; they even found a semi secluded clearing for Rosie and Layla to play in.

She watched John happily interact with her dogs and out of nowhere started fantasising about a second chance with him. He was clean, substance free, and would do anything for her without question. They both moved past the hurt of their divorce years ago and got along brilliantly ever since. Simply put, he was her rock, and if she hadn’t end up in a famous, dysfunctional band with him, they would probably still be together.

Her wayward thoughts drifted back to Stevie and she jolted out of her hypothetical daydream. Christine loved John dearly, but she wasn’t _in_ love with him. She could imagine all she wanted, but in reality, she was in a powerful, all consuming relationship with another band member and things were hurtling down the same dark road she’d endured with John. The player had changed but the game remained the same.

John glanced up and frowned perplexedly at the distracted look on her face. “What’s wrong?”

Christine knew there was no point hiding her sadness from him. “The past couple of months have been absolute shit, Johnny. I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“With Stevie?”

Christine sighed. “I’m at my wits end with that girl. She has a serious problem and I don’t know what to do when she’s so resistant to everything. It’s the most frustrating, soul crushing feeling.”

John squeezed her arm tenderly. “You could have all the answers and be the most supportive partner in the world but she still wouldn’t want to change. The drive has to come from her, unfortunately.”

“Good to hear you’ve finally absorbed the lingo. Where was this John ten years ago?” Christine laughed sardonically.

John smiled and flung a stick for Rosie and Layla to chase after. “I warned you this might happen. Things were spiralling as soon as she started taking those damn pills. Prescription drugs are more sinister than alcohol and all the other shit we took. It’s a subtle addiction.”

Christine sat down in the grass and stared wistfully at the dogs tussle over the stick, remembering the first time she watched them play with Stevie sitting next to her delightedly clapping and cheering them on.

“You know we’ve almost come full circle?” She mused in a low voice. “She re-entered my life nearly a year ago and I felt so distant from her…and now we’re back to square one again. I’m walking on eggshells most days; it’s like the happy times during our relationship never happened.”

“I wouldn’t say that. I mean, just look at these two,” John nodded at Layla and Rosie who were frolicking in the grass without a care in the world, “You’ve built a life with Stevie. Yes things have been shaky and shit because of her problem, but you still love her, right?”

Christine nodded emphatically. “I do. But Lindsey was right, I’m losing myself trying to save her.”

John shrugged. “I personally wouldn’t listen to Lindsey’s words of wisdom, but if you think he’s right then that’s okay. I will say though, Lindsey can’t hold things together like you can.” He drew her to him and Christine snuggled against his chest. “But ultimately, Chrissy, you need to be well and happy. What will make you happy?”

Christine thought back to when she dragged herself day after day to record _Tango In The Night,_ longing for England and the private life she left behind. A year later, still wanted the same thing, a sense of peace and tranquillity away from Hollywood and all the pressures that came with it. But unlike her band mates who came and went as they pleased, Christine had an unwavering loyalty towards Fleetwood Mac. She always did her duty even if it physically and emotionally pained her; so it would take a serious mental breakdown for her to leave for good.

As for Stevie, John was right; she built a world with that beautiful girl. They started building it the night Stevie slept over after a bowlful of spaghetti, cuddled up against her looking peaceful and content. The sweetness in her sleeping face had made Christine’s own emptiness fade away. Would she regress back to that lonely state if their relationship ended? She wasn’t sure.

Christine peered up at John and tried to convey with her eyes that she didn’t have a straight answer for him. He studied her silently, nodded, and then held her tighter.

* * *

Later that evening, Christine sat in bed ruminating over her future when Stevie entered the room looking lost in her own thoughts as well. Christine watched her gloomily brush her bushy hair and apply rejuvenating serum under her eyes.

“God, I look awful.” Stevie muttered to herself.

“No you don’t.” Christine replied immediately. “You are so beautiful. I call you ‘gorgeous’ for a reason.”

Stevie looked at Christine through the mirror and smiled. It was the classic Stevie smile, the one that lit up her whole face and brought a gleam to her eye. It was the smile she graced Christine with when they first met at that Mexican restaurant all those years ago. Christine remembered feeling something indescribable even then; it was almost like Stevie cast a spell on her.

Transfixed, Christine got up and walked towards Stevie, their eyes still locked through the reflection of the mirror. She stood behind her and placed one hand on her stomach while she gently swept her hair over her shoulder.

“You’re my girl.” Christine breathed, planting soft kisses along the curve of her neck.

Stevie sighed and tipped her head back against Christine’s shoulder, biting her lip in a way that spurred a pang of desire in Christine’s core.

She continued to nuzzle her lips against Stevie’s neck while her hands crept up her stomach to palm her breasts, lazily rolling both nipples until she could see them straining against the fabric.

Stevie groaned and Christine pushed her negligee up to caress her inner thigh, grazing her fingertips against the sensitive skin. She inched her way up her pussy to brush against the damp curls before spreading her folds to gently circle her clit. Stevie whimpered, grinding her ass against her and encouraging Christine to move faster. Without warning, she turned Stevie around to kiss her fiercely, bringing her fingers to Stevie’s lips so she could taste herself.

They kissed feverishly, breaking away to take each other’s clothes off. Bare and breathing heavily, Christine pushed Stevie on to the table and spread her thighs wide, tubes of lipstick and eyeliner rolling off the surface and on to the floor. She moved in between Stevie’s legs, pressing her body against hers while she dragged her lips down her neck and flicked her tongue across her pulse point. Stevie sighed and arched her back, pushing her breasts into Christine’s face until she took the hint. Christine swept her hands along the underside of Stevie’s breasts, squeezing them together while she thumbed her nipples enticingly. Stevie let out a throaty moan, running her fingers through Christine’s hair when she teasingly licked over her left nipple before taking it into her mouth completely. Stevie whined and Christine had to hold her body still while she sucked her breasts, alternating between licks and gentle bites. She could feel Stevie body quiver and Christine briefly toyed with the idea of making her come this way, she had before, but she wanted to taste her world more than anything.

She kissed down Stevie’s stomach until she was kneeling before her. She took a deep breath and kissed her inner thighs, sucking at the skin before she moved to Stevie’s centre. She licked a path up her slit with the tip of her tongue then wrapped her lips around her clit, sucking rhythmically while she curled two fingers inside of her. Stevie rolled her hips in tandem to Christine’s movements, the most gorgeous and erotically feminine sounds escaping her mouth as she chased her pleasure.

“Fuck, Chris, like that…like that…” She panted over and over.

Christine’s core pulsed as she gazed up at Stevie, a woman lost in her own. She loved seeing her like this; her breathy moans and pink-tinged skin were almost enough to make her come. She suckled on her pussy harder and faster until Stevie’s walls clenched and she came with a loud cry. Christine moaned as Stevie’s release filled her mouth, continuing to softly kiss and lick at her pussy until Stevie shakingly reached for her. Christine stood up and wrapped her arms around her, kissing her tenderly while Stevie gripped her waist.

“God, I love you so much.” She uttered in between kisses.

“I love you, too, honey.” Stevie replied earnestly as she gently disentangled herself from Christine to sit on the vanity chair. “Come here.”

Christine kneeled over her lap, gasping when Stevie languidly rubbed her pussy.

“Mmm, I need you inside me.” Christine pleaded while Stevie thumbed her clit.

Stevie pulled Christine down into a passionate kiss; rolling her tongue inside her mouth as she pushed through her folds. Christine moaned against her lips and began riding, her pace becoming frantic as Stevie let go of her lips to suckle at her breasts.

“Mmm, I’m going to come. Keep doing that…” Christine purred, wrapping her arms around Stevie’s neck as she arched her back.

“Let go for me, my love.” Stevie said seductively, circling Christine’s nipple with her tongue while she firmly stroked her g-spot.

Christine lifted Stevie’s face to kiss her desperately as she came, bearing down and rocking her hips as she exploded around her fingers. The last wave subsided and she sunk down into her lap; breathing harshly while Stevie kissed her neck, gently bringing her back down to earth after her intense orgasm.

Christine caressed Stevie’s cheek and kissed her again, completely overwhelmed and caught up in their passions. She could feel Stevie wriggle enticingly underneath her and she knew they weren’t finished yet.

Smiling softly, Christine got up and held out her hand for Stevie to take. They fell into bed, worshipping each other’s bodies and memorising every sensuous detail like it was their last time.

* * *

Sometime later they lay together in the heady afterglow of their lovemaking; Christine tightly nestled against Stevie’s chest. She sighed dreamily while Stevie traced her spine, content with escaping real life for the rest of the night.

“Baby,” Stevie murmured, kissing the top of her head.

“Mmm?”

“You know that song I wrote for you ages ago? _Think About It_?”

“Of course. I still can’t believe you wrote something for me.” Christine moved up slightly so she could give Stevie a peck on the lips.

Stevie held her face close to hers so they were inches apart. “I still feel that way about you. You’ve been my angel over the past year and I love you so much. If you go through a shit time in the future, I’ll be there. No matter what happens to us, I’ll never let you go as my friend. Unless you ask me to.”

Christine blinked, realising only when Stevie fell silent that tears were streaming down her face.

“I will never ask that of you, gorgeous.” Christine told her thickly while Stevie started crying, too. “We’ll always be a part of each other.”

Stevie sniffled. “How do you know?”

Christine brushed away Stevie’s tears and kissed her cheek. “Because…I felt an unbreakable bond between us from the very first day we met. How can I ever let go of something like that?”


	24. Chapter 24

_One Month Later_

As Christine tousled her hair and knocked on the door to Stevie’s hotel suite, she thought back to the many days Stevie spent in Phoenix before touring commenced. The days seemed endless, and Christine counted each one until she could see her girlfriend again. She heard the tell tale sound of Stevie’s boots clicking across the marble floor and felt a shot of adrenaline rush through her body. Unable to help herself, Christine peered through the peephole, getting a small glimpse of her girlfriend as she glided through the room--a hurricane of messy blonde hair who was sure to bring both chaos and magic to Fleetwood Mac’s _Shake The Cage_ tour.

“Coming, honey,” Stevie assured in her distinct husky voice before opening the door and Christine was struck to pieces by her: the brightness in her smile, her expectant doe eyes, and the elegant curves in her petite frame. Stevie noticed her staring and her smile widened, “Missed me?” She asked with a shy tinge in her voice.

Christine nodded vigorously and enveloped her precious girl in a warm embrace. “I am so happy to see you, gorgeous.”

“Me too,” Stevie breathed against Christine’s neck while she squeezed her waist.

Christine cupped Stevie’s face and ran her thumb along her jawline before capturing her lips in a sweet kiss. Two weeks worth of repressed desire burst forth as she backed Stevie against the wall and deepened the kiss, their bodies melting into one another’s and aching to be skin to skin for the first time in what felt like forever.

Christine slowly peeled Stevie’s clothes off and kissed every inch of newly exposed skin. Stevie whined her impatience and Christine reluctantly pried her lips from her inner thigh to lift her off the ground and drop her on the bed. She gazed at the eager woman with lustful eyes and climbed over her, her arousal ascending at the sight of those pert nipples she continually thought about when she touched herself. She was about to take one in her mouth when Stevie squeezed her arm to get her attention.

“Chris, take off your clothes, too.” She breathily instructed. “Give me a show.”

Smirking, Christine suckled her nipple briefly before standing up, removing each item of clothing one by one while she gyrated her hips in a teasing fashion. Her breath caught in her chest when Stevie kicked her own panties off and stared at her as she languidly circled her clit. Christine finally let her bra and underwear drop to the floor and re-joined Stevie on the bed, pushing her hand aside so her mouth could do the work instead.

With their moans reverberating through the expansive room Christine and Stevie made love in a fervent haze, only ceasing when they both reached their peak many times over. Blissful and satiated, Christine lightly stroked Stevie’s skin and studied her while she dozed, drinking in her long eyelashes that rested against her upper cheekbones and those pouty lips that were always slightly parted. Christine missed waking up to that cherubic sleeping face. She couldn’t imagine a day when she would stop missing Stevie.

After falling into a toxic co-dependency both women fought so hard to avoid, Stevie made the painful decision to gather her things and move out. The separation was difficult and for the first few days, Christine rattled around her big house, confronted by memories of Stevie lingering in every room she walked in. But the change was necessary; she was going mad trying to fix Stevie when the only person who could do that was Stevie herself. It was a mantra she forgot somewhere down the line of their wild and intense relationship.

But things weren’t all doom and gloom; they went on dates and slept over each other’ houses like couples who were in the early stages of a dating. Their relationship had moved too fast so winding things back felt right. They were still a family, albeit an unconventional one. Rosie and Layla adapted surprisingly well to being ferried back and forth between their mums like two children in a shared custody agreement and when they were at Stevie’s, Christine chipped away at her loneliness by getting to know herself again. She renovated her house into a little patch of England complete with a sprawling rose garden and white picket fence. The only space that remained the same was Stevie’s old photography room, the walls ordained with her introspective self-portraits and chiffon scarves.

Christine didn’t talk about the albatross in their relationship unless Stevie brought it up. Her friends, management and personal assistant kept a close eye on her while Christine picked up the pieces that remained. She held her during a late night panic attack or helped her write when her brain felt fuzzy and scattered. But she discarded the role of being Stevie’s carer, it was too much and she had limited patience for it. The epiphany weighed heavily on her and she had voiced her guilt to John the day Stevie left. He hugged her while she cried and murmured, _“You’ve spent the past fifteen years taking care of your partners, Chrissy. Now it’s time to take care of yourself.”_ It was an affirmation Christine focused on whenever she needed to remind herself that she and Stevie had done the right thing.

Her mind was drawn back to the present when Stevie stirred in her arms. She kissed the hollow of her neck and was met with a throaty giggle that made her body tingle all over.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Stevie stretched, loosening Christine’s hold on her waist. “What time’s our dinner reservation?”

Christine pawed at her wristwatch on the bedside table and lifted her head to check the time. “In fifteen minutes.”

“Damn it.” Stevie rubbed her face tiredly.

“It’s okay,” Christine told her. “We can order room service and stay here until sound check.”

“That sounds perfect.”

Christine snuggled closer and began caressing Stevie’s stomach; she was drawing a path from one freckle to another when Stevie suddenly flinched.

“Don’t.” She whispered, covering herself with the blanket.

Christine quickly withdrew her hand and frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“I hate my stomach.” Stevie mumbled. “I used to be so skinny before all of this. Not like you though…” Her eyes swept enviously over Christine’s willowy frame.

“We just have different body shapes, Stevie. Plus,” She affectionately squeezed one of Stevie’s breasts, “ _These_ have always been amazing. Yes I know they’re not real, but I still love them along with every other part of you.”

Seemingly reassured, Stevie pushed down the blanket for Christine to continue her gentle ministrations. “You’ve always been so strong, babe. You get through everything so gracefully.” She paused, looking downcast. “I don’t know what’s going to happen to me.”

“Well, you spent time with your family and I know that was good for you,” Christine noted. “I know your mum, she would have helped you get back on the right path.”

Stevie smiled wistfully. “She did.”

Christine traced her smiling lips and leaned in to kiss her. She pulled away after a few moments to look into Stevie’s eyes searchingly while Stevie did the same. They realised simultaneously they would never have the answers, life took its course and things either fell into place or they didn’t.

“Shall we order some food then?” Christine asked, lightening the intense atmosphere.

Stevie pecked her lips before reaching over to grab the menu. “Let’s do that.”

* * *

Christine tapped her nails against her wine glass in time to the rhythmic claps of the crowd. Her body was aflame with nervous energy and she took a deep breath, hoping to quieten the sound of her thudding heartbeat. She felt Stevie’s dainty hand touch the small of her back and turned to smile tenderly at her.

“Doesn’t it feel like the first time?” Stevie asked dreamily, gazing out at the bright lights that lay behind the partition.

Christine nodded. “It does, it has been too long,” She appreciatively eyed Stevie’s stage outfit, complete with her signature top hat and shawl, “You look stunning, by the way.”

“You too!” Stevie ran her finger down Christine’s chandelier earring.

They grinned at each other then giggled when Rosie and Layla circled happily around their feet. It was a no brainer for their babies to join them on tour when they thrived on the hustle and bustle of band life.

“5 minutes!” The band’s stage manager shouted.

“Fuck.” Christine muttered, taking one last gulp of her wine before handing the empty glass to her assistant. She and Stevie ushered the dogs to go to their team before they held hands and stepped closer to the wing, the roar of the audience growing louder.

“Ready, ladies?” Mick asked excitedly, twirling his drumsticks.

“Yes!” Stevie exclaimed, reaching up to give him a kiss on the cheek.

John, Billy and Rick joined them and they all exchanged good luck hugs and kisses before they were given the green light to go on stage. Christine grabbed Stevie’s hand again and they strode on stage to the deafening cheers of their fans. Christine took in the euphoric atmosphere while snapshots of the past year flashed before her eyes; Stevie’s return, writing _Little Lies_ in the RV, band rows, kissing Stevie in their Sausalito bungalow, adopting Rosie and Layla, travelling to Europe with Mick, all her heart to hearts with John, Lindsey’s departure, _Tango In The Night_ soaring up the charts, making love to Stevie just hours prior. Christine looked at her girlfriend and swore she saw the same memories pass through her mind, too. She mouthed, _“I love you”_ before letting go of her hand to stand behind her precious keyboards, the first real love of her life.

Christine played the beginning chords of _Say You Love Me_ while Stevie danced and waved her tambourine in time to the uplifting music. Christine couldn’t help but openly stare at her while she sung her heart out, knowing that despite it all, she would love and care for that enchanting songstress for the rest of her life. She still wanted to marry her, it might not happen now, but she knew in her bones it would happen one day.

_“Falling, falling, falling…”_

Stevie flashed her a dazzling smile and for a brief moment their band mates and audience faded away leaving just the two of them--Stevie the awe-inspiring star glittering marvellously in Christine’s calm velvet sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before the epilogue and I haven’t come to terms with this story ending. A sincere thankyou to Katy (mastiffgirl) for patiently helping me develop this chapter when I was suffering from severe writer’s block. – Ava


	25. Epilogue

_April 1995_

For the first time in eight years Stevie Nicks was firmly anchored to one place. Her nomadic gypsy ways discarded, she felt safe, hopeful and quietly optimistic in her Phoenix home. Those cocaine-and-brandy fuelled nights and blurry Klonopin days seemed a lifetime ago and as cheesy as it sounded, Stevie knew she was about to embark on a wholesome new journey in her life.

She loved every room in her house but her bathtub was where she retreated to when she needed to think or write. She reclined there now, lazily watching the rose scented water lap over her creamy skin as the candlelight cast a sensual glow across her face. She lifted a foot and wriggled her toes, admiring the apple red nail polish she had applied earlier. Stevie loved giving herself manicures and pedicures, the only other people she had ever let paint her nails were Robin and Christine.

Christine. _Oh Christine._ Even eight years later the memories were still so vivid and sensory. Relaxing in their cosy Beverly Hills home, her much more daintier foot lithely extended for Christine to glide the brush over her nail. The way Christine furrowed her elegant brow and bit her lip while she examined her work. How she bent down to plant a soft kiss on Stevie’s ankle bone before trailing her lips upwards to…

Stevie’s skin heated up and she quickly submerged her foot back in the water. Those days were long gone and Christine would probably rather die than give Stevie a pedicure or anything else ever again.

She thought about the dinner she had shared with Tom a few nights ago. Those life-changing hours where he shook some sense into her, pulling her out of the murky depths of self-pity and misery she had let herself sink into since _Street Angel_ completely bombed. She had felt fat and ugly and stupid and she needed Tom to write something for her because she sure as hell couldn’t.

He had told her to get over it, to go home and write because she was a writer. She was alive and okay and that was something to celebrate. So she had taken his advice and went home and penned _Trouble In Shangri-La_ and that was the beginning of the end of her crippling writer’s block.

Stevie opened her journal to a fresh page and began absentmindedly sketching. She and Tom had also discussed other reasons for her blocked channels, one of which being Christine. He had casually suggested she get back in touch with her ex but Stevie had visibly bristled at the thought. But hours later, she had predictably found herself obsessing over the idea of speaking to Christine again.

Drawn out of her reverie Stevie realised the pen in her hand was moving of it’s own accord. She looked down to find a pair of striking almond shaped eyes staring back at her. She knew those eyes; they had a history with Stevie. They used to intently gaze at her every time she told a story, genuinely enraptured with her words. They would try to see past her Klonopin haze, searching for the real Stevie who seemed lost for good. They were the same eyes that shone with hurt upon the discovery of Stevie’s horrible infidelity, never to look at her the same way ever again. And now they stared her down, daring Stevie to ignore her siren call, daring Stevie to pick up the phone and call her. _Call her._

She closed her journal and placed it on the stool next to the bathtub before picking up her cordless phone. With her heart beating rapidly she began dialling the number she knew better than her own. She felt a rush of anxiety and her thumb froze over the last digit. The last time they spoke was nearly a year ago when Christine had called Stevie to wish her good luck before she went on tour.

Stevie remembered a time when their conversations weren’t limited to good lucks and well wishes. It was both a lifetime ago and yesterday at the same time. Their relationship had a timeless quality to it; and she had taken it completely for granted. Her commitment overtaken by pills, depression and short-term satisfaction. Stevie would never forget the anguish on Christine’s face when she discovered Stevie had cheated on her a year into the _Shake The Cage Tour_.

“Why did you do it?” Christine had asked her in a voice that didn’t sound like her own.

Stevie had just stared blankly at her, numb and unfeeling. “I needed to feel fucking human again and you’re never around. You barely even look at me.”

“You’re not the same person I fell in love with and I find it difficult to be around you.” Christine murmured after a heavy silence. “You’re fading away and I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry, Stevie, but I’m finished.”

And that was that.

They had somehow finished the rest of the tour, made another Fleetwood Mac album and toured again—even slipped back into their old ways once or twice, the temptation was too much to resist. By the end of it, Christine had essentially quit touring with Fleetwood Mac. While Stevie—who had fallen out with Mick over the ownership rights of _Silver Springs_ and was done with the band altogether—had retreated to Phoenix to waste her days in front of the television with a bottle of Klonopin perpetually by her side.

When Stevie had finally entered rehab it was akin to someone opening a door and pushing her into hell. So if she could survive detox and everything that had come with it, she could make this fucking phone call.

Before she lost her resolve, she quickly hit the last digit and pressed call. Her body tensed while every scenario played out in her mind. Would Christine even pick up? What would her first words be? Would Stevie be able to avoid passing out in the meantime? Her questions were answered as Christine’s amber-like voice filled her ear.

“Christine speaking.”

There was the sound of plates clinking together under a running tap and Stevie smiled slightly. _Of course_ she had called Christine while she was doing housework. The familiarity of it all set Stevie’s spirit at ease and she slowly began to relax.

“Hey, Chris. It’s Stevie.”

“Hello Stevie,” Christine’s tone was encouraging. “How are you? I’m glad you called. I was concerned about you but didn’t want to intrude.”

“You’re never an intrusion, Chris,” Stevie replied immediately. “Truth be told I’ve been doing a lot of hiding and feeling sorry for myself but Tom told me to snap out of it so here I am.”

“Sage words of advice!”

Stevie chuckled. “Right? The bastard was right though. I came home and actually wrote a full song I was proud of.”

“That’s lovely to hear, Stevie.” Christine replied warmly and Stevie imagined the proud smile adorning her beautiful face. “I know you’ve been struggling creatively over the past few years so it’s brilliant you’re getting your mojo back.”

“I’m getting there,” Stevie hesitated. _Here goes nothing, Stephanie,_ she thought. “He also said I should call you, get some closure, y’know? I feel like I never properly apologised for the way things ended between us and all the shit that happened after.”

Christine was quiet for a moment before she spoke in a soft voice, “You did apologise, Stevie. You called me after you left rehab, remember? I forgave you even before you said sorry.”

Stevie shook her head. “It’s not what I wanted. Yes I was clean but my head wasn’t screwed on straight and I don’t even remember what I said.”

“Well, what do you want now?”

Stevie traced her bottom lip with her index finger, a million wild thoughts fluttering around her mind like butterflies; _I want you in my life again. I want a second chance to love you properly. I want your luminescent blue eyes to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night…_

“Stevie?” Christine questioned.

“Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts for a second.” Stevie said apologetically, gathering herself. “I guess I want to thank you for fighting for me when I seemed like a lost cause. When we broke up, you still tried, even when I was pretty much done with myself.”

“Oh, honey. Don’t sell yourself short, you clung on so hard and kept going. It’s who you are.” She paused and Stevie could practically see the words forming on the tip of her ex lover’s tongue. “From the moment we met I knew you were an amazing person with a special gift of lighting up any room. And I remember looking at you and thinking how lucky I was to have you in my life. Even when you were at your worst I saw that bright, magical girl come out here and there, so that’s how I know you’ll never, ever lose that."

“I won’t.” Stevie replied in a shaky whisper, Christine wasn’t the type to wax-poetic and it nearly rendered her speechless. “I promise I won’t.”

“Hang in there, gorgeous. Keep writing. I know your next record will be brilliant.”

“I hope you’ll be the first person to hear it?” Stevie asked hopefully, stretching her legs under the water.

“Of course.” Christine replied. “What are you up to? I think I hear splashing.”

“Taking a bath.”

Stevie swore she could hear Christine’s breath hitch. “Oh. Well I’ll leave you to it then.”

“How are things with you? I heard you’re writing material for the new Mac album?” Stevie probed, not ready for their conversation to end just yet.

Christine chuckled dryly. “Yeah. Mick roped me into it. I’m really not interested but I agreed to provide some songs, regardless. Do you remember _Nights In Estoril?_ It’s going to be on there.”

“I remember.” Stevie sighed wistfully. “I also remember you saying you would take me there.”

“That’s still on the cards, love.”

Stevie heart leapt as she immediately grasped the true meaning behind Christine’s nonchalant reply. It was confirmation that Christine still felt something, too. Their story wasn’t over, it was on pause, but it wasn’t over.

“Well, I’ll let you go.” Stevie said. “It was great speaking to you, Chris.”

“You too, please call again. Whenever you want, Stevie. You’re always welcome to talk to me.” Christine assured.

“I know. Bye, Chris. We’ll keep in touch.”

“Bye, gorgeous. Good luck with everything, we’ll speak soon.”

The phone was pressed to Stevie’s ear long after Christine hung up. Eventually she put it down and drew her knees to her chest, taking a deep shuddering breath as the lingering sound of Christine’s voice continued to send warm tingles over her skin.

After a few moments, she unfurled herself like a flower ready to bloom and opened her journal to the page with Christine’s eyes etched in the corner. With a small smile on her face and inspiration seeping through her veins, she began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 7 months later Down All Your Darkest Roads is finally finished. I’m sorry if it didn’t end the way you would have liked it to, but I try to root my fic in canon and it just wasn’t realistic for their relationship to last during Stevie’s Klonopin years. Rest assured, the next series will be happier and brighter in tone; it’s set when Christine returns to Fleetwood Mac in 2013-2014…
> 
> A HUGE shout out to my darling friend, Katy, for being an amazing support and beta-ing my work towards the end. I am a better writer because of you :)
> 
> Look out for some much needed updates to A Supercut Of Us in the next coming weeks ;) - Ava


End file.
